Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
spankyness 0
Dog has been trained well
Lou_Briccant 0
You're a girl, right?
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Comments (254)
Misanthropist 0
Did the dad give you a tip?
Gsmith123 0
#51 i salute you becuz you are correct
kelseyann 0
Some people might not consider it to be inappropriate to wear sweats. I mean, if you're going to be running around with kids and sitting on the floor playing barbies, don't you want to be able to move comfortably? And about wearing a thong babysitting, maybe she just considers those more comfortable too, and didn't realize anybody would actually know what type of underwear she was wearing.
galad2003 0
That was the best thing to happen to that old guy in a while, I would expect to get more babysitting jobs in the future.
Gsmith123 0
come on everyone wants to know did you get a tip?
Zerenade 0
In before "YDI for wearing a thong". Someone's going to say it.
Gsmith123 0
what color thong?
alex_vik 1
#49 - Actually I'm rather intelligent and I don't use drugs. I guess there's a difference in finding women who actually put a little effort in their dress a turn on and women who put on the first thing they find a turn on. And #53 - Jeans are just as flexible as sweatpants unless they're too tight. And I highly doubt thongs are comfortable, seeing as they have several health risks associated with them.
Linx_fml 0
props to dog :) :D, Revealing the goods, XD
kinnelonfire75 0
41, you must have never been first...