Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
pommeblossom 0
I'm sorry! That sucks! Congrats on getting married though :D
Crimso 0
nothing screams wedding bells like vomit and ruined memories
PiiScHkE 0
actually fiance means they didnt get married yet fat bitch
FreddyMustDie 0
serious FYL. But kinda a strange place to keep your childhood memories...
veesky 0
umm did u wake up on the wrong side of the bed
22cute 17
This loser is NOT going to improve when you chain yourself to him with a legally binding certificate. Hello!!
CameronHS 0
well at least he had a good 21st
Adrian66_fml 0
he sounds like a lightwieght to me.
jerfzf 0
just dont marry him.
4ugu4 7
An how will that solve anything..?
roachspray 0
Hang onto him. He's a keeper!
jasface 0
Ouch..
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
kmj84 3
damn that sucks. maybe next time you shouldn't have a container of all your memories sitting out like that.
JoshBuescher 0
and you just left that lying around? if I were sick, I would've done the same thing. And shouldn't you have gotten him his own plastic container if you knew he'd be puking anyway? YDI
Nakedsquirrel 5
Never go to bed or send someone that's been vomiting to bed for that matter, without a bucket to puke into and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Anyone desperately needing to throw up that can't get to a toilet will instictively go for the first container or open space they find. Looks like you forgot to take care of that one little aspect. Sorry, but at that age that's common sense.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.