Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
spankyness 0
Dog has been trained well
Lou_Briccant 0
You're a girl, right?
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Comments (254)
greedy_dead_soul 0
[dupe]
mrilake 0
I don't think that's an FML at all; I'm sure this made that guy's night. Also, lots of people have asked why the OP was wearing a thong to go babysitting.... some people wear thongs 24/7, not just for special occasions or sexual encounters.
starstarstar 0
For everyone asking why thongs + sweatpants, haven't you ever noticed that you can see the line of a girl's underwear when she wears sweats? Girls wear thongs to prevent having those lines!
MelzerB 0
Grow up.. it's a thong. At least you were wearing underwear
tateno 0
i agree with the previous post lol
Jaxro 6
Oh noes! Someone saw my underwear, alert the presses. 70% of people today walk around with their asses hanging out...
Theos_fml 0
Imagine a 400 pound girl in sweatpants-still think it's hot? (clothing and accessories aren't everything)
melonhead901 0
That's what you get for wearing a thong noob
fuckingshit 0
no wonder why it was humping your leg ;)
GirlX 0
I wonder why the dad didn't try to pull the dog off of you...? Especially because it seems the humping would be glaringly obvious, given that he's a big enough dog to accidentally pull down your sweatpants. But I hope the family didn't hold it against you! No crime in wearing a thong.