Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex_mu 0
you = fail dog = win YDI for picking on ur dog! good boy
sup_fag 0
creepy that you were naked and playing with your dog..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
gigi2009 0
ouch but quite a YDI.
DrMorbid 0
What did you learn today, OP?
drkangl8dj 0
I like how the first few comments I got to read was. Nothing but a few 6 year olds bickering over some atupidity. I've forgotten what the fml was even about anyways. /clap
s2702913 0
at first i thought you were a woman so i was like wtf were you doing with your shirt off terrorising your dog, but now it is just funny that your dog did this
TheBeardOfZeus 0
i sed that u deserved it but 2 b fair, i tease my dog all the time and my nipples are still intact!
roblombardo 0
oh come on people, its not like he was hitting the dog's paws repeatedly with a hammer, he was just playing with his dog. that is not animal abuse in the slightest.
som_fml 0
your dog BIT you? Tsk, I'm sorry to say that once your dog realizes how effective a bite can be, he's going to continue doing it. Consider a muzzle should you take it outside or near other people if you don't want to experience a lawsuit. Congrats.
Bob31_fml 4
By what theory do you figure that? You're an idiot. You probably thought all of Michael Vick's dogs should be put to sleep because of the archaic "once a biter, always a biter" mentality. Thank God there aren't more of you in the world.
ilse1989 0
You're an asshole.
mshultz 0
what kind of sick person are you? how is hitting a dog fun? In my opnion you got what you deserved.
IHaveVertigo 0
I wish the dog had bit off your dick, you ass.