Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML
Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
xnikkilynn 11
Urgh, those things are the spawn of Satan.
Mirakledba 10
Not your fault... Kinda ironic though. FYL
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Comments (75)
Mirakledba 10
Not your fault... Kinda ironic though. FYL
AddictGamer 16
She must've barked up the wrong tree.
sayyestothedress 24
Never underestimate the power of CHIHUAHUA'S!!!!!
orbit 22
Could it have been a wild squirrel with rabbis that found it's way into her house? I mean Chihuahuas and squirrels look pretty similar.
enddmd 27
#23, a wild squirrel with Jewish religious figures? Sounds like the start of a bad joke to me.
orbit 22
Thumbs up to you sir
redneck66 11
im part of a conversation.
thatnucca 36
Found out the worse way that his bark was not worse than his bite huh?
xnikkilynn 11
Urgh, those things are the spawn of Satan.
Voij 16
One of the most terrifying mixes. Aggressive insecurity of the Chihuahua combined with the anti-christ in dogform, the Poodle... I'd say the OP was lucky that he managed to survive at all.
GeneralDerp 5
The only good thing about them is that they're tiny. If you fear for your life you can punt them across the yard and run.
dragonkisses28 25
Awww I had a chaweenie, a dachshund, and a St Bernard. The little one was actually very protective...of me. :) He thought he was a big boy. They were all so jealous of each other I couldn't pet one without petting the other two or the little rat, a 100 pound slobber factory, and the hotdog would all try to get in my lap. Sorry, OP. Those chihuahuas are little but vicious.
ohSNAPyall 27
What does it look like? A tiny fuzzy poodle?
Imthedaddy11 16
#40 I'm going to call bs, you should know a ST Bernard weighs more than 100 pounds
LeBandit 20
that dog is going places
sarah5745 41
Where exactly #4? I'm confused..
LeBandit 20
I was also thinking the pound xD
mikepzz 27
I was thinking it was going to the back yard.. In a hole.. About 3 feet deep.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Damn. Dark, dark, dark...
GeneralDerp 5
I was thinking a dodgy Chinese food restaurant.
theinsidiousgeek 9
Same thing happened to me
Paultheouctopus 13
Didn't you know, animals are unpredictable?
RayneSmytson 24
Animals are very predictable, especially dogs. It's just that most people can't read the body language. The barking was the dog warning OP to stay away, and I'm guessing there would have been growls, ears laid back, posture would have been aggressive. Just because you can't read the signs doesn't mean they don't exist.
kyuubi1 14
"I don't just want a nibble, I want a whole goddamn piece!" - poodle thingy
ComoEsJuan 24
Bit off more than you could chew on this one, OP.
RBW_Slave 9
Typical small dog..
garrett_8614 14
Never trust a tiny dog