Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
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Top comments
alex_mu 0
you = fail dog = win YDI for picking on ur dog! good boy
sup_fag 0
creepy that you were naked and playing with your dog..
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Comments (218)
adorepink86 0
I like to find simple joys in life. And I will not lie I get a tiny burst when I'm first and I want to celebrate that little tid-bit of happiness by saying I got first. So all power to ya. You SHOULD say you got first if that makes you happy. being first=little tidbit of joy :-D I feel like people who have to negatively respond to simple (but yes slightly rude) posts most be very unhappy with their own lives or have no life and like to be rude.
Zenerach 0
You're just an idiot YDI
GriefBacon 0
That's really mean. YDI.
Gregiscool 0
that's not mean, that's playing with your pet. do you just like, look at your dog? is that how you play with your pet? sitting quietly in a room. you all need to get some south in ya.
laughingman 0
you might be a red neck.....
Supermum43 0
Good dog !!! :-)
hai_im_bruno 0
MLIA is better for **** sake
imsleepingbeauty 0
First it starts with abusing animals, next thing yah know, your a serial killer.
cmac86 24
at least it wasn't a beaver (Jeff foxworthy)
_rawrasaur_ 0
just thank **** you're not a girl although what you would be doing with your top off i wouldn't know