Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
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Top comments
alex_mu 0
you = fail dog = win YDI for picking on ur dog! good boy
sup_fag 0
creepy that you were naked and playing with your dog..
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Comments (218)
Besker 0
CHUCK NORRIS is overrated and rather pointless, his entire fighting style is a roundhouse kick
InigoMontoya 0
And now it's got a taste for human blood. Put it down.
citizen_fml 0
I'm assuming the people complaining about animal abuse have never owned a dog. Most love to play around, and find things like this fun. He didn't say he was stabbing the dogs feet with a carving knife, he said he was hitting them, probably just swatting at them with his hand. Are people who throw sticks abusive because they're forcing their dog to run and get something for them?
iFruit 0
YTDI
DameGreyWulf 1
"whilst" just doesn't sound right here...
leenheartlovex3 0
Retard. #1 Why were youu doing that? And #2 Why wern't youu wearing a shirt? Wow.
triplethreat13 0
Being a loser can be dangerous. Get a life, save your life. :)
Trooth 13
oh man that sounds nasty and unrealistic but it made me crack up so points for that!
ChaChachick123 0
You deserve it for doing that to the dog. you ******* ass hole! Dont be suck a dick to you dog, you deserve every minute of pain. WEAR A ******* SHIRT NEXT TIME.
eric780 0
I'm actually with gozinya up there at the top. o_o