Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Ma'm, we closed 10 minutes ago
Today, I had a woman throw a clipboard and yell at me to then storm off, still yelling in the mall where I work, all because I'd told her it was too late to do a piercing tonight. FML
Memento
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Lost in translation
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Top comments
jen1097 25
You should have put down the tattoo gun and just stared at her for a few minutes before saying "now, do you know what a tattoo is?"
hellnosucka 27
were you pointing your tattoo gun at her? were you threatening her with offensive tattoos? were you also smiling weirdly? hmmm... my deduction skills are totally so fab and I must say, she might be on to something here.
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Comments (64)
Dark_Cecilia 20
Firso opinion, first comment! But I guess she was assuming it wouldn't hurt so bad.
Lalala579121 28
Since OP never specified that it was at work, I'm just imagining someone walking up to some random lady on the street and punching her in the face.
mr_t_07 10
Or even better running up to a random person with their back turned and trying to tattoo them
PePziNL 20
SURPRISE TATTOO!!
Ipeh 20
"If you don't give me ALL your money, I'll write Carpe Diem across your neck!"
HotRose 18
I imagined that OP grabbed a woman walking down the street by the wrist, flung her round into a tree and the poor lady cried out, "Stop, you're hurting me!" OP: "I'M A TATTOO ARTIST!!!" Lady: *opens mouth in horrified surprise, widens eyes, raises chin slightly but sharply* "What?" Ded xD
jen1097 25
You should have put down the tattoo gun and just stared at her for a few minutes before saying "now, do you know what a tattoo is?"
cheeeksss 29
At the tattoo shop I work at, we have a sign that says "$5.00 whining fee"
LPac5295 27
17, that's awesome. I hope you guys actually charge that for people whining.
Kitsune_Tearz 11
I've never seen that in a shop before, but I think it should be in every shop... but I was once given a discount for sitting so still and calm for the artist.... right after they had a nightmare client who was bouncing around and screaming and pulling away and took an hour longer than expected for a small tattoo (something that should have taken no more than two hours took a bit over 3).... he was so happy I had sat so still that I was done in just under an hour when he had alloted 2 for it, and it meant he was able to go get dinner (which was supposed to be between the first client and I) before his next client.
brenton490 19
Or ask her if she wants the sticker tattoo instead.
hellnosucka 27
were you pointing your tattoo gun at her? were you threatening her with offensive tattoos? were you also smiling weirdly? hmmm... my deduction skills are totally so fab and I must say, she might be on to something here.
Delta_0DST 12
Your profile img goes well with your comment
MyrmidonQueenn01 9
She shouldn't have gotten a tattoo then. tattoos do hurt, but to yell at the tattoo artist...
Honest_Guy 10
I would have just asked her if she knew what a tattoo was, if she didn't I'd of kicked her out and told her to research it.
Obito_Uchiha651 17
Who doesn't know what a tattoo is?
TripleATeam 13
Well, it's moreso the process of tattooing: shoving dye under the dead skin onto the live, sensitive skin.
Feklfekl2222 32
Isn't it common sense not to piss off the person putting permanent pictures on your skin? Not doubting your professionalism OP, but I'm sure there are those outwards wreaking havoc
MsFit 17
Sadly, there are. Sometimes it's not even a matter of pissing the artist off, they are just shitty people. I went to someone I had known for years for my first tattoo. He was an extremely talented artist and someone I considered a good friend. My parents are extremely religious and conservative; out of respect for them and their house, I waited until I moved out. When I mentioned my upcoming appointment a couple days before, they asked if they could come with me. I thought it was a little strange, but was hoping they would come around if they could see the process for themselves and that it was a sterile environment. When I looked in the mirror after, it was the worst tattoo I've ever seen. It was nothing like the design and looked like it had been done by a 5 year old. I knew my friend was a much better artist than that, so I confronted him. Turns out my parents went into the shop the day before and offered to pay him to make the tattoo look as horrible as possible to deter me from getting anymore in the future. They gave him money upfront and said how much more money he got would depend on how bad he made the tattoo look. Needless to say, they wrote him a substantial check before leaving
Logical07 16
this is ******* unbelievable! What a friend, and your parents... terrible experience overall
DoomedGemini 38
I hope you tell anyone that mentions him about that incident. Good tattoo artist or not, if they pull shit like that Id rethink going to them. Tattoos are permanent and can mean something important for the person, if an artist doesn't respect that I wouldn't really want to go to them.
MsFit 17
44- Oh, I do. So do the other people I know in the industry. Unsurprisingly, tattoo artists don't look kindly on a fellow "artist" who does something like that. He's tried to open different shops in the area, but hasn't been able to build up a clientele that tattoo artists depend on to be successful.
soulebelius 17
Damn, MsFit, you deserve to have an FML of your own!! I'm glad you didn't just let that go. Everybody deserves to know what kind of scumbag that artist is!
RadiantAerynSun 2
Your parents are awful, terrible, horrible people.
KhaoticKreature666 24
This is when you need a warning label: "WARNING. Getting a tattoo will induce pain. Continue if you can take it like a strong person."
cheeeksss 29
My favorite thing a man said to his wife when she was getting a tattoo, "eat some cement so you can harden the **** up!"
dannidoll93 24
Well duh, you should have thoroughly explained to her that piercing her skin deeply with a needle several hundred times would hurt. Seriously though, maybe suggest she tries those temporary tattoos that you wipe on with a warm flannel.
dramaelf 37
Maybe she should stick with stick-on tattoos.