Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
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Top comments
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
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Comments (278)
_yarrrr 0
it's annoying that some ppl reply just to talk. it would be nice if they had something to say. example: #3..or the girl who's comment we're replying to.
jwp171 5
ffffffffaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiilllll
missbreann 0
wow, rude much?
tayza249 20
Great first impression. He probably thinks you're a judgmental bitch. Even if it WAS a change purse, there's no need to laugh at him. He could have it to keep change for the parking meter or something.
Elledanae 0
No, not fyl, fhl, ydi for bein such a biotch.
gemzroxya 0
show some respect!
Lisa89 3
Maybe don't laugh at people so much?
hjbeachbum 0
it makes an ass out of 'u' and and ass out of 'me' ;)
bzktactics97 0
wow u bitch
caviar_fml 2
i don't think that's an fml, it's fhl for not getting a joke