Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
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Top comments
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
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Comments (278)
redneck0328 5
you're a bitch.
annwetrats 0
fhl
darenthomas 2
You were nervous. Remember? First date? Don't worry. Everyone goofs up like that from time to time. Re all the others here: Haters gonna hate... Was the rest of the date cool?
missmaryb 0
You obviously have bigger problems than he does.
mwahaha1 0
is that an attemp to make him pay for the night out?
lukethe 0
What the hell? What's wrong with that?
missy_lynn012 0
just laugh it off it's not that big of a deal, you didn't know. if he rejects you, at kraft now you'll know.
missy_lynn012 0
just laugh it off it's not that big of a deal, you didn't know. if he rejects you, at kraft now you'll know.
CACC_fml 0
spanks__ 4
Uh why you calling her a bitch, stop being so rude yourselves, she didn't know
TheNewGuy03 29
...then you can stick your other foot in your mouth by uttering a tasteless comment about you being sweet...or something like that. |the kid|