Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
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Top comments
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
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Comments (278)
rockerkid33 2
you could have something about condoms, so don't feel bad
xrainbowshadowx 17
First off, it's a satchel! hasn't Allen taught you anything? But seriously YDI.
Hockeyboy4280 18
this is an FML that makes me feel sad :'( FHL, My hockey teammate is a diabetic and he CONSTANTLY has to monitor his sugar and insulin levels.
Mauskau 36
My boyfriend is diabetic, it takes some getting used to but once you see one person with one, you know what the others are. The bag should contain a monitor and a fingerpricker :p
coltsluvr123 2
you know what they say about assuming OP...
PhilMcHawk 7
ydi for being stuck up about it.
Gideon56 0
******* bitch.
TATOCAPA 3
It's not that bad, I can't imagine he took it hard he probably knew she was kidding...
johnnie254 7
you could've said "what's that", or nothing at all
JManHobbs 0
Bitches assuming shit sure as hell doesn't make an ass out of me.