Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonald's slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
As much as his own fuckstick is the reason you're here in the first place, I feel he could've handled this a little better.
enormouselephant 15
This FML is so sad, I'm sorry OP! Laser not forget to point out- HAPPY BIRTHDAY:)
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Comments (139)
philtography01 1
What an ass. Well happy birthday and make the best of your last year in that hell hole. Don't give up and sorry to read about your mom. When you turn 10 get the hell out of there. And use your last year to save money to get awake from d**k face
guysayshi 0
I am so sorry to hear this. You deserve so much better and don't let anyone tell you different. You are beautiful and you are going to be just fine in this life. You know your mom loves you and thinks youre growing up to be a wonderful young ladie and I'm sure she'd be very proud of you. Stay strong
jayleensmama 14
I feel your misery, OP. I was a good kid and always did well in school. When I turned 18, my mom told me I had to move out. When my sister turned 18, she bought her a car and let her live with her til she was 23. Some "parents" are just assholes. Btw, my birthday is today too and that very woman JUST sent me a text that said "HBD I guess."
ballpython 15
OP, you are only 17 and have many years ahead of you. Use this time in your life to make something of yourself and those who don't/won't support you emotionally or otherwise are the ones who ultimately suffer in the end. I wish I had better advice, but I don't. Happy belated birthday. Also, remind your "father" that you are a minor and if you punch him in the back of the head when he least expects it they will most likely just slap you on the wrist (I would not advise doing that though).
brando1983 9
I'd just point the laser right in his eyes. What an ass your dad is. I remind him that if you had a choice, you would choose to have him remain an absent father and be with your mother. It might seem like a long year, but take this time to prepare yourself for moving out.
zilla52 12
that is what happens when you get old
Koleckai 16
Happy birthday. You should look into suing for emancipation.
Canderin 1
That's just shit. I'm really sorry OP, but hey, as you said, only one year left. Make the best of it. And if you ever need someone to talk to, e-mail me at [email protected]. (Err, and I'm not a creeper. just a random Swedish girl.)
skyeyez9 25
This fml is as sad as the one whose fiancé dumped OP because she was "not pure" after she revealed to her soon to be husband the horrific sex abuse she suffered as a child. Your dad is a dick, but hopefully you have good friends and other family members you can surround yourself with?
diohic 5
Emancipate from that ASS!