Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonald's slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
As much as his own fuckstick is the reason you're here in the first place, I feel he could've handled this a little better.
enormouselephant 15
This FML is so sad, I'm sorry OP! Laser not forget to point out- HAPPY BIRTHDAY:)
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Comments (139)
kaileylovesyew 4
Wow. Really? It's not that sad.
kaileylovesyew 4
This was supposed to be in response to someone else's comment. I apologize.
Dengie 3
I am the same age as you, I lost my mom too this year, so I know its hurting. Like you said one year to go hon. You'll get through
TheSofaKing 7
Find someone else to live with.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You don't have any other relatives? I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Just keep in mind knowing you have a tomorrow would bring a smile to your mother's face. Next birthday consider doing something you and your Mom liked to do and maybe try some charity work to brighten someone else's day.
radianceepica 9
You don't necessarily have to wait for the year to be over. You could try filing to become an emancipated minor. You could also start taking colleges classes early and try to get enough financial aid to move out. I know at least most community colleges usually offer the option of taking college classes for high school credits, so you can start college before graduating high school.
crazyjemjem 6
One more year! Hang in there. Happy Birthday.
_winniebell_ 10
Wtf is wrong with him
WhoopWhoop321 18
My sympathies about your mom. I hope you have a great birthday.
Whachubbleisthis 4
So sorry!!! Happy birthday OP.
Whachubbleisthis 4
Probably by mistake. Happened to me before.