Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonald's slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
As much as his own fuckstick is the reason you're here in the first place, I feel he could've handled this a little better.
enormouselephant 15
This FML is so sad, I'm sorry OP! Laser not forget to point out- HAPPY BIRTHDAY:)
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Comments (139)
Demi22Renae 7
I can't believe anyone would say you deserve this, you DONT. Happy late birthday
LittleJayBird94 4
First couple of years suck but they get better and it will be much better once you don't have to deal with him just keep your chin up and remember the good things
seducemymind_22 9
Wow, that's just wrong.
marlize 6
Happy birthday! I hope someone will spoil you!!
ndaguanno 17
Happy Birthday, and sorry to hear about the loss of your mom, I'm sorry your dad is being a ******* asshole, literally. Hope you had a good birthday
Lamestaine 1
Parents can be either saintly, mental or right dicks, or even swap between the lot. I moved out when i was 18, since then I've been studying and am now finishing my second year at university, and getting paid as a professional illustrator. You don't need them to be successful.
newstart11 9
Aahh I think that's the saddest fml I've ever heard (tear drop)
RemusJLupin 8
happy birthday OP! you hang in there!
dmd316 9
I am so sorry for your loss.
lalaney 14
I know this post is old, but my heart went out to you when I read this. I had two drug addict parents who showed me time and time again that they'd prefer to choose drugs over me. I do think I ultimately turned into a better, stronger person because of it all, but that took a decade to really accept. Until then, I couldn't help but notice that I lacked something everyone takes for granted: the love of their parents. Comparatively, my best friend was completely shattered when her otherwise perfect parents divorced. Having given her the idea that they were infallible, showing their flaws messed up her idea of the universe. See, OP, nothing can really shatter us like that since we began life with the worst. It can only get better from here. Stay strong. You'll get through this.