Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ohhjenn 0
you deserve it for being a cheater!
kcnutt10 1
**** YOUR life? No. YDI. You ******* douche! This may come as a shock to you, but women have feelings too. If you love or want to be with someone else, then just break-up with your girlfriend. It's that simple. Yea, it may cause her pain from the break-up, but not near as much pain if she realized you cheated on her. It's douche bags like you that make it hard for the few good men out there who actually respect women. Eat shit! I hope she dumped your sorry, pathetic ass.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (268)
stingray626 0
128 lol ur funny i hope this is a joke no matter how bad cheating is its not against the law lol
Lilmexiboy 4
dude. I'm surprised she didn't push you out and made your ass wall home!
talktomandybaby 8
if i were the girl..i wouldnt of waited till the numbeness wore down.
Eragons_Mommy92 9
You really are a scumbag if you think you deserve sympathy!!!! Eat shit and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
zexy27 0
Nitrous oxide? That's different where I come from we get iv drips of sedative.......
imac619 2
Should have played it off as a reaction to the gas. Like you had an dream of cheating while under and it was so real you thought you did.
stingray626 0
as a guy this double standard just about every woman in here says its ok to hurt the guy but yet if a girl cheated on a guy its a whole different situation im not saying cheatings ok but physically hurting on BOTH parts IS WRONG
Lamented_Sin 0
you deserved it you cheating shit
liindsjayy 0
Hopefully it was in the cheek. You deserve it you fuckk.
Mahkymahk 0
asshole... for lack of a better word