Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML
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Top comments
balkangiirl 0
LOL, F the taxi driver's life for having to drive the taxi with vomit now. Even after it's cleaned the stench of vomit can last a while, especially in a poorly air conditioned taxi...
Moper250 0
I thought it was the opposite in Russia, "In Soviet Russia, Taxi Pukes On You."
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Comments (47)
crackberrie 0
hahaha omg. hope your son is ok!
LP95 0
I'm replying to the first post to be on top! oh, and fyl
elfuzzo 0
Kill your kid. Even that would be too good for the disgusting bastard.
kionnalexus 0
Woah there, he's a kid I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to throw up and projectile vomiting usually isn't someones fault either. That's a little harsh. And this really sucks :/ FYL indeed.
crb2009 0
o
emsbitch 0
calm down, Jesus.. I can see you're not a very sympathetic person.
princesssparkle_fml 0
third.
simpsonman3000 0
i have never seen projectile vomit in person lol
jme208 0
thats horrible. im so sorry that you had to be in the car with that. fyl indeed
americayay 0
I disagree. His kid got horribly ill, his wife got thrown up on, and the cabbie's car got thrown up in. Even the SUITCASE had it worse than this guy, who only had to pay for the mess. Everyone else involved could've written a better FML.
giggity0giggity 0
wow. that goes to show that shit happens... or vomit happens? anyway, if ur son has an allowance, u can take the cost out of that.
Kamikazegerbil 0
That's a bit harsh. Kids don't projectile vomit on purpose you know. Feeling sick in a hot car is bad eough, why make him suffer more? What will it achieve?
vanessa_nessa_08 0
what does projectile vomit mean?
alwaysalady 0
Its puking so hard that it sprays straight out, instead of just dripping down your front. It has been known to hit ceiling, and other great distances. It is also rather painful.
balkangiirl 0
LOL, F the taxi driver's life for having to drive the taxi with vomit now. Even after it's cleaned the stench of vomit can last a while, especially in a poorly air conditioned taxi...
OcBeachBabe 0
poor you. FYL ...
bubbles1286 1
I'm pretty sure your wife's life sucks worse. At least you stayed clear of the mess.