Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees". For some reason, everybody pronounces it "your anus". FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
Today, I posted a Happy New Year status for all my Latino friends and family. Well, I missed that año is different from ano, and I used the wrong letter and thus wished everyone a "Happy New Anus." FML
Today, as always, my name is Karen. FML
Today, my girlfriend named our daughter Aspen. Ass. Pen. When I hear her name I will always think of a pen in a butthole. No doubt her future classmates will too. FML
Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML
Today, after 26 years of confusion with my parents pronouncing it different ways, and in my mom's case, multiple ways, having to clear up how it's spelled every time I meet someone, I asked my mom how to pronounce my name. She got mad and then pronounced it three different ways while explaining. FML
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I realized that since I was in elementary school, my friends, my workmates, and even my family, all call me accidentally by someone else's name instead of my actual name. I'm 30 years-old. FML
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
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Top comments
FellowYellow 10
Ouch OP! Guess your parents wouldn't think it would bother you whenever you hear someone go "Hey how's Yarenis?" Change your name if you want to!
DocBastard 40
I know what you're going through. My name is "Yeraneediot".
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Comments (126)
FellowYellow 10
Ouch OP! Guess your parents wouldn't think it would bother you whenever you hear someone go "Hey how's Yarenis?" Change your name if you want to!
jazzy_123 20
I had a teacher who told me he thought Chlamydia would be a wonderful name for a baby girl.. if only it wasn't the name of an STD.
happle 21
That's an old joke if I ever heard one.
meepmerp 20
That was an old fml...
ohnowhyme123 15
your parents must have quite the story as to why they named you that
wvcheesehead 13
I will bet it makes you want to act like an asshole.
animalxcrackers 20
That was in Waiting. And my dad tried to tell me once that he wanted to name me Chlamydia. Oooooold joke.
MatthewK 28
A girl in my class name was "Lea-a" pronounced "La-dash-a" and people always got confused and called her "Leah". She would get pissed and say the dash isn't silent.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
No she wouldn't. Seriously guys if you're gonna lie about knowing people with weird names, at least choose something original and not old jokes and urban legends we've all heard before. Y'all must have some sad lives to lie about stuff like this to a bunch of internet strangers, lol.
SammyS2012 21
there was really a girl named la-a at my school. i swear; i honestly didnt know there was an urban legend around it, and it makes her fight with school administration that much funnier
melbrook10 1
I lived down the street from a family for a long time and I kid you not their last name was Hogg and they had a son and a daughter. The boys name was Ima and the girls name was Shea making them Ima Hogg and Shea Hogg. Those poor kids were so picked on.
jazzy_123 20
haha ok guys no need to get butthurt. He said it because we were giving him name ideas since his wife was pregnant. I didn't know this was an old joke.
Dt33345 13
My brother had a teacher named Dr. Hooker. His wife's name? Ima. Her name is Ima Hooker.
xeldawyn 14
My name is Michaela, pronounced mih-KAY-luh, but people ALWAYS pronounce it like they are saying Michael with an "a" tacked on the end or Mishella. I even corrected them before I graduated high school, but the guy on stage still pronounced it wrong when I walked up to get my diploma. It's just part if having a less-than-usual spelling of a name.
Dt33345 13
I'm sorry OP, but I think I would do that too. That is just what your name looks like.
ninjaCarebear 17
Don't worry OP, my friends name is Yaneth sounding like Janet. You just need to overcome these obstacles and have fun with it.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
the way its pronounced sounds like "on your knees" lol
tygerarmy 35
See, 1person has shown you the truth, it really doesn't matter what your name is, people will bastardize it to it's funniest version. Richard, becomes Dick, Max, becomes Maxi-pad, take it in humor, and don't hang out with dumb people who only repeat the dumb joke.
lymyabean 15
Welllll, if OP's hispanic, the Y is meant to be pronounced like a J.
saraitkddh 47
you know you can change your name if you want, sorry OP
niallo 23
I have a friend who name if pronounced like its spelt is satanic. She calls herself Sally. Try the same thing and call yourself Janet. It's close enough to your real name.
LanceGoodthrust 19
Phonetically, that'd be the only way I would see it being pronounced.
Sports_guy3 28
At first, I pronounced it as "Uranus".
DocBastard 40
I know what you're going through. My name is "Yeraneediot".
graceinsheepwear 34
Apt!
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Doctor Yeraneediot Bastard.. jeez your parents clearly loved you.
142_cats 13
My name is Mike Hunt. It ain't easy being Mike.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#55 It's better than Mike Easter (say it fast out loud)!
andydaanimal 9
that's kinda rough, but if you can't beat them join them. when they see your name say how to proprly say yoir name then tell them its not pronounced your anus. food ice breaker and get some humor in there. ;)
euphoricness 28
Uhm no that's not how it works. People would like to be called the way their name is pronounced. For example people who go by the name Richard would prefer not to be called Dick, solely for the purposes of humor.
Octwo 16
Oh don't be such a Richard about it.
euphoricness 28
I'm not I'm just being a Jerry!
142_cats 13
What a RichardCranium.
kyraincolorguard 3
Actually I think you're missing the point.. This guy had the right idea..majority if people are not gonna pronounce this name right when they first see it..just like with my name Kyra. Most people pronounce it as Keerah but it's really K-eye-ra. And my friend Simone's name is pronounced Simon and he's a guy we both just laugh about it and make the best of it..its not like people are doing it on purpose!
Jjimen1654 9
Im pretty sure the reason is because it's funny as hell.
onlychildFTW 34
No, it's because it looks like it should be pronounced that way. Not everyone makes fun of people's names.
commandercolbert 6
i pronounced it ya-re-nis
jazzy_123 20
So did I because it looks like it could be a name in Spanish. Well to me at least. It sounds pretty too x)
awesomeamandas 37
I thought it was pronounced like that too but then when I read the name again I saw that it looks to be pronounced your-anus too
SWC_Penguin 17
I read "ja" as sounding just like "jaw." Is that right? Because if so, I'm sorry, but hardly anyone in America is going to get it right without you explaining it first.
Voij 16
I think the "ja" is as in "janitor", maybe slightly longer "a". I can't quite understand why the rest is supposed to be pronounced "ra-nees", though. I just don't know of a language where "re" is pronounced as "ra"... am sure that one such language exists, though. At this point, I'm just curious as to whether OP was born in an english speaking country or merely moved there with his family. Latter one would explain the difference between how one would read the name and how it's supposed to be pronounced, while the former one would work with examples of e.g. Naiphthan(Nathan) or Allyzzabeth(Elizabeth).
earmuffs 7
tl;dr
laurenasabutton 26
the end 'e' sound in German is often the equivalent to an English 'a' or like an 'uh' sound.
MsMurphy8613 12
I could understand "ja" sounding like "jaw", but OP's name starts "Ya" which I would normally interpret to sound like "yahoo".
thaliah 15
Having a unique name is hard haha