Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Today, I met my father, who I hadn't seen since I was a baby, at Subway. He made me pay for his meal. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
drbobbz 16
Well, he thought you were there for a 6 inch!
JustBecausePie 12
That's ****** up on so many levels.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
drbobbz 16
Well, he thought you were there for a 6 inch!
gintwinsmoore 20
well he was creepy and old, so probably only 3 inches...on hard.
PenguinBitch 44
How would you know that?
201chasew 22
#17 experience
fuckyourlifeOP 25
13, his dick is a video game difficulty? Sweet!
TheLadyOpal 30
WTF? Didn't anyone else in the line say anything?
marcmaralou 15
That's what I was thinking... at some point someone should have intervened
thelouisewhalen 11
As someone who's been harassed on a train, people are more likely than not to keep their mouths shut.
SilverZephyr 20
Its something.. I forget the actual term but basically everyone will think that other people will do something and wont help... But once one person helps then people usually do (or there was no one else in subway)
xSphinx 18
it's called being a pussy. help someone if they're in trouble, **** what everyone else is doing or not doing
KittyLahv 27
I believe it's called the Bystander Effect.
thawny_fml 21
26. As someone who has stood up for someone else on a train and been stabbed because of it, I can confirm silence is usually your best option.
thelouisewhalen 11
66, I'm aware what trouble it can get you in. If someone looks harmless than I think you should stand up for them, but if they look dangerous/drunk everyone should shut their mouths and those being harassed should get off at the next stop.
HereNReady 13
Not necessarily, then the drunk/harasser could follow you off whereas on the train hopefully people will intervene if things get too out of hand. People are ridiculous this is why I have my CC permit and carry everywhere.
lexa1love 16
My lord that would frighten me! I don't know how you kept it polite after that one.
Acerhawk 24
It is simple, we kill the old people.
xChaos 29
Yes, it's the only way. No alternative. Nothing. Nothing at all.
coute21 6
If I ever grow into that big of a douchetesticle when I get old, please kill me.
JustBecausePie 12
That's ****** up on so many levels.
cheeeksss 29
Seriously! A pedophile AND into incest? Two disgusting traits...
haileyrows 26
And this is why pepper spray exists
cadillacgal79 32
This is also why there's concealed carry
Themexicanbanana 6
not really, its meant for assault situations, but hey! idc how you use it as long as it doesn't effect me.
mnote 17
You should've told him that creepy old guys weren't your type
devildog562 33
Huh just when you thought that all the creepy things have been said on fml, you get this. Well played subway creep, well played.
denaeb123 24
Some people are so disgusting... sorry OP! hope you didnt lose your appetite, i know i would have
Gauzy21 12
Haha at least he's considerate. :)