Nearly FMLs

Today, I thought I found my soulmate. But now realized she has mental problems and refuses to get help. The wedding is tomorrow. FML.

Today, my brother thought it would be nice bring home take out. It was from my favorite restaurant that I've been craving for months but was too far away for me to pick up. However, in the past few hours, i've contracted COVID, and I am now unable to smell or taste anything. So I got to watch him eat it. FML

Today, I got fired from my job, had my tires slashed, got stung by wasps, lost all my save progress on three video games, and suffered not one but two concussions in a row. This is about how my luck is everyday. FML

Today, I was wiggling my butt at my husband and my hip cracked. LOUDLY. No action tonight, we're too busy laughing at it. FML

Today, I ran the treadmill for nearly 3 hours. I’m supposed to do this everyday because according to my boyfriend, I’ve “put on weight”. He says if I don’t lose the weight he’ll cheat with the hot girl from work. I have to oblige because I can’t afford to move out nor I have nowhere to go. FML

Today, I was told to make a video for class, and being the person I am, I didn't listen and make a video for the wrong chapter. My teacher played it in front of the entire class and told me off. FML

Today, I was screamed at for bleeding onto my sheets. Not only am I always irregular by several weeks, but I have also never had a PMS symptom in my life. FML

Today, I keep a sort of journal, containing both a diary of important events and my correspondence with friends and family. Or, that’s what it used to be. This year it’s made up almost exclusively of COVID news and FMLs. FML

Today, I read about the Texas heartbeat act. Fuck the Texan government. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me feel like shit because I recently got layed off of work and have been watching our two children. He woke me up and started saying that I’m lazy and I’m probably going to sleep all day. Still haven’t received a text from him on when he’s coming home. Never get a break! FML

Today, I have to put down my guinea pig because of a jaw problem that's made it impossible for him to eat, after exhausting all possible treatments. Four months ago, I lost his companion and my other guinea pig to a misdiagnosed UTI. FML

Today, my wife tested positive. Even though we are both vaccinated. FML

Today, my dad told me that I was only allowed to have a crush on an Indian guy, as I'm Indian. I spent two years in denial about the fact that I had a crush before accepting that I did. He's not Indian. FML

Today, on my 21st birthday, I had six seizures back to back. Four focal seizures and two grand mal seizures. This is after getting diagnosed with epilepsy and getting covid. And months ago having a seizure resulting in wrecking my car. FML

Today, I accidentally left a period stain on my boyfriend’s couch. Furious, he kicked me out of his apartment. He called me disgusting and that we’re done because “Natalie doesn’t leave those nasty ass stains on the couch when she’s on her period.” Natalie is my best friend. How does he know? FML

Today I was told for the millionth time why I am a bad girlfriend by my ex who constantly wants to come around to apparently just bash me.. FML

Today, I started crying after looking at my dad’s ID as it was about to expire and i thought that was the day he dies. FML

Today, my 4 year-old dog died and I just wish I had hugged her before. FML

Today, yesterday, tomorrow and every day, me, my friends, my family, and other people in my country don't have enough vaccines, and we're dying more and more everyday. FML

Today, and over the past month, my car has been totalled by a falling tree, which has yet to receive settlement from the insurance agency; my husband quit his job for another job that's now not calling him back. I come home to find out my 7-week kitten is deathly ill and no money to save him with. FML

Today, I learned that if I don’t get 1200$, I will get evicted. I don’t know what to do. FML

Today, yet again my dad hurled insults at me for no good reason. FML

Today I found out I made a mistake at work that may cause me to lose my job.. FML

Today, I'm still good friends with my ex. Today is also the day she told me she's in a relationship, and that she had cheated on me with the guy. FML

Today, after dating this girl on ROBLOX for 7 months, I found out that it was actually my brother who made and used that account just to troll me. FML

Today, I realized I was texting I was texting my crush of 4 years and didn't know it was her. I pissed her off so bad she wants me dead. FML

Today, I peed myself on my husband's brand new white car seat because I'm pregnant and he refused to pull over, even though I begged him too. FML

Today, I saw tumbleweed blow past, but I hadn't even made a joke. FML

Today, polyamorous relationships still get a ridiculous amount of hate, despite all the movements to support sexual preferences and lifestyles, which is where many of those haters come from. I guess my choice in relationships, though perfectly healthy for all involved, is still unacceptable. FML

Today, my wife told me she hates me and that I would fail in school. I've been busting my ass off. I have good grades and am dealing with 3 classes, work, a kid, and her tantrums. And I'm the bad guy here because I'm trying. FML