Nearly FMLs

Today, my ex sent me a happy birthday through Whatsapp. My actual boyfriend didn't even notice me at all. FML

Today, I realized that a few months ago, my parents bought my 12-year-old brother a PS5 with three games. At the same time, when I asked my parents to buy me some books for college, they refused, stating that "they're way too expensive and unnecessary". I'm 19. FML

Today, I’m only 24 but I get chronic fatigue syndrome every day and I just found out on Google that I either have Hodgkin’s lymphoma or liver cancer. This was also the same year my parents had to take me off their health insurance. FML

Today, my sister passed away. The last time I saw her was in 2011, right before I moved to another state. FML

Today, I have depression. I have always been very negative. I have a drug and alcohol problem. I gambled my life savings. Years of therapy, anonymous meetings, and various psychiatric interventions haven’t helped much. I have no friends. I have a great family though. I am really smart but do stupid things constantly. FML

Today, I forgot to get lunch before heading off to a five-hour shift. I also forgot my wallet, so I can't get anything there. As a result, I'm going to have to go hungry the entire shift. FML

Today, someone at my college made a Twitter page where rape survivors name the people who raped them. A violent stalker who harassed me until I was suicidal posted a lie about me. I was sent hate mail, and some friends refuse to talk to me. I confronted him and he admitted it was a lie. No one believes me. FML

Today, my boss keeps on bullying me while at work. She's my ex. FML

Today, I've been feeling in the dumps for three days. A few months ago, I had sex with a supervisor before quitting the job I was working in, as I moved to another city. We agreed to remain friends at the time, but I developed a crush on her and I found out that she was dating another guy. FML

Today, I got stung by a wasp on my foot. My mom told me to “walk it off” Last week my little sister had fallen off her bike and scraped her elbow. My mom immediately attended to her and took her to the emergency room. FML

Today, my platoon went on a trip to go ride on quad bikes and paintball. I didn’t go because I thought I had to pull duty for tomorrow. It got changed to today. FML

Today, my mom has a lawn chair and a cushion for it. Just putting the cushion on the chair would apparently have been boring, so she put it on the floor for the dogs. Once it was saturated with dirt and dog hair, weeks later, she finally considered it ripe to go on the chair and be used by humans. FML

Today, my siblings came with their kids to stay at our place for the first time ever. All my spouse can do is complain about their parenting style. I know this will go on for a week. FML

Today, I feel so overwhelmed. I have so much work to finish and they are piling up now. Currently a fourth year student in a foreign country, and I have to apply a lot of stuff AND write my graduation thesis AND prepare graduation presentation. I'm so tired. FML

Today, I realized just now that Ballade and Ballet are not the same genre of pieces. FML

Today, I got my dad a $300 gift for Father's Day. He didn't say thank you, or that he liked it, he just took it and moved on. Not sure why I bother. FML

Today, I got a call form my doctor informing me that I've developed a severe gluten and wheat allergy, and that I should avoid being around either at all costs. I'm a Baker and just signed a lease on a building I was planning to open my own bakery in. FML

Today, while I was really high, I pissed myself in front of my girlfriend. FML

Today, I’ve been married for 8 days and I haven’t had sex with my wife since then. I’m 24 and she’s 20. FML

Today, it's my birthday and I’m getting more happy birthday wishes from spam emails than actual people. FML

Today, I realized that, despite working hard and studying a lot to get a PhD and a decent job, I still make less money than a vapid youtube celebrity. FML

Today, after supporting QLD in the State of Origin for the last 20 years of my life, I found out that I was actually born in NSW. FML

Today, we are once again in full COVID lockdown. I live in a tiny apartment, I'm pregnant and the only thing that helps me sleep is walking for an hour or two at night. Exercising outdoors is allowed is between 5 am and 9am. FML.

Today, I decided not to show up at school to teach my English classes for no reason so I called and came up with an excuse. At 6:58 am, the light went out. I start my classes at 7:00. It’s noon already and I still have no electrical service. Plus, my cellphone data sucks. FML

Today, my fiancée is in the ICU because a drunk Taxi driver collided into her car last night. We were going to marry in three days. FML

Today, I wanted to take the dishes out of the washer so my mom had less work. I did, turns out they were not clean. FML

Today, I got my discord account hacked, which was linked to my paypal, which has no security. They drained my bank account of 100's of dollars. Now my discord account is banned, and paypal directly messaged me they refuse to refund the breach. FML

Today, I asked my mom nicely to maybe not put the wet dog food where I tend to step in it. Her response? Putting even more and bigger bowls of even wetter dog food there, then laughing at me when I mentioned it again. FML

Today, after 18 years together, my boyfriend and I split up. I’m 32 years old and have only dated one guy my entire life. We built our whole lives around each other. I don’t even know where to begin to start over. FML

Today, as I was walking into Wendy’s, a huge gust of wind came and completely blew up my sundress. I was standing right in front of a window and the entire restaurant saw my underpants. FML