Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML
Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML
BioChickthcfy tells us more.
All is well, he was reminded to have "nice hands" as well as other things. He lives at the facility I work at, but I will not be working with this youth anymore. Things escalated very quickly and in order for everyone to be safe and be able to learn in an apparently less tempting environment I will be in a different location.
Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML
feetfreak tells us more.
Hi. This is the original poster. 1. I was not trying to boss him around or be a tattle-tale. We work at a warehouse store and his job requires him to regularly perform heavy lifting INDOORS and heavy lifting OUTDOORS when he has to help customers carry things to their cars and load them. The guy was relatively new, so I was concerned about his safety. I thought maybe he just left the house in a hurry and forgot that he was wearing sandals. I've accidentally almost left the house in my running sneakers only to quickly run back and change. 2. I wasn't trying to be nosy, I was just genuinely curious and was not going to report him or try and get him in trouble. I am not a narc. We were making what I thought was polite small talk. Guess I was wrong. 3. To the people telling me to mind my own business: if you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe or broccoli in your teeth, wouldn't you want someone to tell you so you don't walk around all day looking like a fool?
Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
Today, while I was working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML
Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML
Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML
RidingCJ tells us more.
RidingCJ 17
OP here. First of all we are not telemarketers because we are not selling anything. Telemarketers are the ones who will not let you go and force you to buy things over the phone. Second of all, yeah I know those calls are annoying. We are all aware of that. Do you think we really like to do this?! I'm a full time college student and this is the only job that fits my schedule. Whenever a telemarketer or interviewer calls you, just say I'm NOT INTERESTED PLEASE TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR LIST. and we won't call you again. It's simple. And please, no need to be rude.
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML
Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML
abcdefghijkl1233 tells us more.
Thank you for those of you who left kind comments, those of you who left comments of the other kind probably don't understand. I didn't fully expect my stutter to get in the way of the interview so much, but combined with my nervousness it gradually got worse throughout. After the way I was treated I realised it wasn't a place I would want to be at so I left without a fight. Also I'd like to thank you for the help methods some of you said, I've been trying to improve it and I'm definitely going to try them, thanks again :) In the future I will inform them beforehand! #8 Aha, good ol' game of Pictionary, never fails to start arguments!
Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML
Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML
Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML
Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
oldshitnewshit tells us more.
Looking at the comments I see we've got some seriously mixed opinions about me. So, first off: Hi, I'm Juniper, I'm 23 and I'm in art school in the US. I have never tried LSD or any other kind of "hardcore" drug before this. My friend had some tabs that he had used before and asked me if I wanted to try it. I agreed, only after doing extensive research, and determining that the risk was one I was willing to take. During that research, I stumbled across some beautiful works of people who had done art under the influence and thought perhaps I could have some fun trying that as well. I'm an art student and always open to new things. My parents were also hardcore hippies back in the day, and they've told me about their psychedelic experiences. I knew my risks. I have no plans to take LSD again, although I'm not currently suffering any adverse effects aside from water tasting kinda metallic for the next 24 hours (this took place about a week ago.) And the FML is actually not entirely true, but exaggerated for comedic effect. The paranoia and muttering did not last the entire time, only about 15-30 minutes. My entire trip lasted about 9-10 hours. One of my friends decided to remove the easel when she saw that it was making me upset. I think its large, angled presence in the room was off-putting. I actually spent the majority of my time having a good trip, my friends took great care of me. And despite not touching my canvas, I made some radical drawings. I did my research, I knew my risks, I set myself up responsibly. I'm not looking for sympathy or support– I just thought I'd share my kinda funny story. Those of you who are calling me an idiot are entitled to your opinions, but you're not insulting a wall. I'm a human being that makes choices for myself. Those of you who abstain from drugs, you should be proud! That's wonderful and healthy, but please allow and do not judge me for my own choices. My experimental phase is not harmful or offensive to you. And to my fellow art junkies: I wasn't expecting to create a masterpiece, this was for fun. I'm a learning artist!
Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML
Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML
Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML
Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "Hon'", "Darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
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