Today, it's White Day, a tradition in Japan where men buy gifts for women. A coworker walks in with gifts, hands them out to the local women, explains the holiday to a new guy, and walks out. I'm the only person in our office who didn't get a Valentine's Day or White Day gift. FML
sakat38 tells us more.
sakat38 10
OP here. Idk how to get the op tag. I'm an American in Japan. I wasn't expecting a gift and really didn't care about today being White day until the coworker, an American who overseas everyone, came into our office and handed out gifts in front of everyone. Then because one of the Americans in our office didn't know what white day was, he explained that out of all the Americans sitting there, I would have been the only one to get a gift on White Day because I'm the only female, then walked out of the office. I think it's just the hormones that are causing this to be bigger then it should be. I've never cared about Valentine's Day before. I did buy my own chocolate when I got off work.
Today, I started a new job as a receptionist at a nursing home. When two men came in saying, "We're here for Mr. Christensen," I paged him to come to the front desk. Apparently, these men had come from the funeral home to pick up Mr. Christensen's body. I was completely unaware that anyone had died. FML
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, only to witness a woman with her shirt pulled up giving herself a sink bath. FML
BeccaRaye tells us more.
BeccaRaye 19
actually I do lol
Today, I noticed a customer looking for expired products in hopes of receiving a coupon from my store. I told them to let me know if they found anything. They promptly began following me around, telling me how to do my job, only to later file a complaint saying that I was harassing them. FML
Today, my alarm clock, which was set to play a certain radio station didn't go off. Turns out, yesterday was their 10th anniversary and also the end of their station. I didn't wake up to the white noise until 9. The interview I had spent 3 months preparing for was at 7. FML
pohoon tells us more.
pohoon 12
Hey! I usually wake up quite early, but I ended up staying up till 11 since I got really nervous. It was my dream job and I messed it up pretty badly. Luckily, they contacted me a week later to reschedule after I embarrassingly told them the honest truth.
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
Today, nearly six months later, my incompetent, lazy coworker still refuses to believe I didn't screw my way to the promotion both of us were competing for. FML
Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML
Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML
Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML
leafynitemare tells us more.
Your comments are hilarious. I love the murderer theories. First off, for those guessing this is walmart, you're correct! I almost died laughing. Okay, he had handed me a receipt and I noticed a drop of blood in it. I had just had a red pen leak and thought it was from that. Then I looked at the box. And I stood there going "ummmm...whats going on?" And the old man holds up his arm showing a nickel sized cut that is bleeding profusely. I wasn't sure how to handle such a situation. It's not every day someone tries to return something with blood all over it. So I excused myself to seek a manager. The manager didn't believe me at first. But I told him again and he realized I was serious. After he saw the box in question, he said to the man that he would not even allow me to touch the box. The man was very angry, citing that he had the receipt and everything that came with it. No, I never opened the box. I didn't touch it at all. He tried to get other customers on his side but one said "dude that's blood. I don't blame them. People are touchy about blood. You never know." And then he suggested I should be extra careful because I appeared to be pregnant (which I am not, just really bloated). The old man said "yeah alright" and left without further incident. I went to tell the managers about the second part (where I came back and he was wiping off the box) and they smiled in disbelief and the higher manager said "yeah, we're never returning that" which meant more work for me having to put notes on the registers letting the others know we are not going to return it and why.
Today, we were notified that our office will be relocated. Employees can tag along but their wages will not be adjusted accordingly. The cost of living at the new place is way higher. I have to finish my contract and really can't afford to not have a job right now. FML
Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML
Today, I started training my replacement for my job. My replacement already makes more money per hour than I do. FML
MySonshine7 tells us more.
MySonshine7 13
OP here. I'll start by saying I'm leaving tis job voluntarily. I'm moving to a new town, I'll actually be making more at my new job. I have no hard feelings towards my current company. They even offered to pay me more to get me to stay, but sadly they don't have a branch in the town I'm moving too. To be clear this is a manager position I worked up too and they decided to raise the starting pay of my job after they started looking for someone. Apparently they think if the pay is good enough they might get someone as close to how good I am. So I took that As a compliment, I don't plan on screwing the new girl over. I just find it funny they wait until they are losing me to finally listen to me about how my department is under appreciated. I do wish them all the best though, they are making some great strides to being better. Sorry for the long response!
Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML
KayleeFrye tells us more.
OP here. Luckily, the burn is not bad at all. I don't even need medical attention. The skin is just red and a bit sore, similar to a minor sunburn. It will be 100% gone in another day or two. She was suspended for the rest of the school year. I do not intend to take legal action, because she will likely be back in my classroom next year. (It's an adult education program, so there are no restrictions for accepting students with records. Pretty sure this girl already has a few assault charges in her past.) Thank you for the support and sympathy! :)
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I delivered a pizza to a former coworker. He answered the door with his pants below his ass and his junk hanging out of his boxers. FML
sericane tells us more.
sericane 20
I must say, these comments had me laughing my ass off. To elaborate a bit, he had no idea it was me coming. He didn't even acknowledge or notice it at all. I'm fairly certain he was stoned out of his mind, because he barely said 2 words to me. When we worked together, there was always something off about him. He got fired for always calling off due to supposedly being homeless. Well, the house I delivered to was hella nice. So, idk. Lol. Either way, I tried to avert my eyes and just finish the transaction and gtfo of there. When I got back to work, the rest of my coworkers had a big laugh when I told em what happened. Lol. Definitely something I did not need to see. Lmao
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to finagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML
Today, despite being over-qualified, I was turned down for a job because my fiancé works in a different dept/building of the same company. This is a really small town. If knowing existing employees is going to be an automatic disqualification, I'm going to have to move or commute 2 hours a day. FML
Dat_Class_Tho tells us more.
Hi there, this is the author. I've never commented on my own fml before, so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong. Here are some details that might clear up some confusion I'm seeing in the comments: The HR manager of the potential employer is the one who told me that I was over qualified and that having a familial or romantic relationship with another employee was against their policy. This discussion was during my 2nd call back interview. Getting a 2nd call back had really gotten my hopes up so the bad news had a little extra salt in the wound. She was extremely nice about it though. She explained that the only real concern was the appearance of favoritism, as several of you guessed. She went so far as to recommend other companies/agencies in the area that would value my skills. I asked her if these other companies had similar "no family" policies, as I recognized every name on the list to be one of my family members' employers. She said that she was pretty sure they did have the same policy, and that maybe it would be best if I waited until I was married so that my last name would change and no longer raise a red flag. She said that as long as the question was never asked, I wouldn't have to disclose my family ties. I don't want to just sit around waiting for marriage. I enjoy contributing equally to the finances and go stir crazy with nothing to do. Also, we haven't settled on a date so I don't even know when the wedding will be, or even if we will be able to afford it if I don't find a source of income comparable to my last job. I need to find something soon and I'm still applying everywhere even if my family works there, but the odds are not in my favor. Thank you to anyone who wished me luck with my job search, I appreciate it.
Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML
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