Anonymous · 10 March 2022, 06:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Cut the apron strings

Today, at 30 years-old, I can finally move out. I could have chosen an apartment close to work, but instead I decided to stay close to where my mother lives. Since I told her, she's been complaining that I'm selfish and I'm creating a lot of problems for her by moving so far away. I'll be living half a block from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926 You deserved it 322

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ImNotVeryBright · 10 March 2022, 02:01

Butter fingers

Today, I was on my phone while it was charging. My hands fumbled a bit, and my phone slipped out of my fingers. Thinking quickly, I grabbed it by the charging cable to save it. The cable unplugged, and my phone now has a pretty crack on the screen from hitting the tile floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652 You deserved it 374

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Anonymous · 8 March 2022, 06:00

The grass is never actually greener

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 367

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Anonymous · 8 March 2022, 04:00

A group of one

Today, we're starting group projects in my English class. One of my group members hasn't shown up to class all semester, and the other is an exchange student who can't speak English very well. Guess who's doing all of the work on their own… FML

I agree, your life sucks 739 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 7 March 2022, 12:00 ·Dundas, Canada

Narcissistic

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 103

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coriander · 5 March 2022, 00:01

Coming in last

Today, my evil twin sister was preparing for her prom. When I saw her trying on her dress, she looked at me and said, “First to get a boyfriend, a prom date, and into college. Maybe you’ll die first?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 4 March 2022, 10:00

Gamers CAN have a love life

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I was having an affair in The Elder Scrolls Online. While ranting to my online elf husband, he got upset that I had a real life boyfriend and dumped me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289 You deserved it 1 904

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ManChildBF · 4 March 2022, 02:00 ·Loveland, United States

Sounds like a keeper

Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 3 March 2022, 07:59 🌶️ Spicy

Engrossed

Today, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I used to have a sex life, and even talked to each other before Elden Ring was released, but I can't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990 You deserved it 329

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Anonymous · 2 March 2022, 22:00

Stop using this as an excuse

Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730 You deserved it 1 679

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Anonymous · 1 March 2022, 22:00

City slicker

Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047 You deserved it 213

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Anonymous · 1 March 2022, 16:00 ·United States

Cravings

Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823 You deserved it 271

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anon · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Israel

Lonely birthday

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 668 You deserved it 13 540

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Anonymous · 28 February 2022, 16:00 ·Zagreb, Croatia 🌶️ Spicy

No victim blaming

Today, my husband left me for the whore he cheated on me with four years ago, and then, how stupid of me, I forgave him and took him back. I guess I had this coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042 You deserved it 1 007

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I’m scared · 27 February 2022, 22:00 ·Denver, United States

Hellworld

Today, after my mother, who was a loving and gentle soul, died, I’ve moved in permanently with my stepmom, whom I’d never met. Her very first words to me were, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am your mother now. If you make even ONE mistake, I will literally rip your fucking throat out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832 You deserved it 116

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Anonymous · 27 February 2022, 16:00

Thanks guys

Today, my parents couldn’t keep it civil long enough to get through my wedding without causing a massive scene. My wife was so upset, she got through the “I do’s” then left crying without waiting for the photos, so now we don’t have an official wedding album, just poor quality Facebook pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 27 February 2022, 00:01

Feeling ignored

Today, I actually had to spell out to my parents that if you don't want someone to repeat the same thing several times, you have to acknowledge that you're listening to them. I've had several occasions where I said something to them 3-5 times, thinking they weren't listening, but then they snapped, "WE HEARD YOU!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033 You deserved it 190

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eyeroll · 26 February 2022, 18:00

Delusional

Today, my sister has been going on and on about how sexy her new doctor is. She’s been plotting to fake an illness just to see him again. When I explained that doctors are professionals and even if he were interested it would be unethical for him to say so, she called me a fat, jealous loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 152

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Imstuuuupid · 25 February 2022, 00:01

Mean girls

Today, not even a month into the new semester, I have a hearing at the Dean’s office for academic dishonesty. My classmate and “friend” who I’ve been doing online quizzes with at home (considered cheating) decided to throw me under the bus, all because I wouldn’t let her borrow $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 1 102

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Anonymous · 24 February 2022, 02:01

Bad sign

Today, I found out that a girl I had been seeing for two months used her having a brain tumor as an excuse to break up with me. She said she wouldn’t feel good for three months because of treatment, but then a month into "treatment", she posted a picture on a date with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 147

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chacha_bby · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Won't get fooled again

Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded, "Well, the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 769 You deserved it 52 870

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Anonymous_229 · 19 February 2022, 22:01 ·Preston, Australia

Decisions, decisions

Today, I have to make a hard decision on whether I should move on and free my boyfriend from me and let him do his own thing while I do my own, or resolve our differences. Advice needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571 You deserved it 365

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Anonymous · 19 February 2022, 00:01

Hogwatch

Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 329

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Anonymous · 18 February 2022, 16:00 ·Arcata, United States

Noncommittal

Today, a girl I was dating broke up with me for her previous fling. She was scared of committing to a relationship, even though she ended it with him for me. But now she would rather be with this other guy in secret, who is married, and has no plans on being with her for long term. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992 You deserved it 219

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Anonymous · 17 February 2022, 15:59

Fun times

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 1 852

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hypocrite much? · 17 February 2022, 12:00

R-Rated

Today, my mom overheard me telling my 6 year-old about periods. My mom condescendingly asked, “Isn’t she a bit young for that?” That’s pretty rich coming from a woman who didn’t want to share the TV, so all of us grew up watching whatever violent or raunchy sex filled R-rated crap she wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069 You deserved it 142

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Having some mental health issues · 17 February 2022, 02:00

Parasocial relationship

Today, I’m so lonely and sick of living that I wish my fictional comfort character was real, only so someone would hug me and tell me I’ll be okay, even if they were lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976 You deserved it 192

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kko · 16 February 2022, 16:00

Let it go

Today, my boyfriend still randomly brings up his ex. He told me what kind of dog his ex's grandma has. What the actual fuck? Whenever we’re out in public, he somehow slips her name into the conversation. He's told me he hates her, but mentioned her name at least 3 or 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053 You deserved it 231

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Anonymous · 16 February 2022, 10:00

Passive aggressive

Today, I cleaned our whole house. I wasn’t expecting praise, it was just the house needed cleaning so I did it. I also wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to get mad at me for “cleaning everything as a form of passive aggressively criticising her for her not having cleaned the house either.” What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264 You deserved it 125

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Anonymous · 16 February 2022, 02:00 ·United States

Insular

Today, I spent many hours applying for many scholarships. When the sites asked for my e-mail, to let me know if I'd won, I gave them my school e-mail, one that I often check. I then come to find out the school doesn't let e-mails from outside the school system be sent or received. Lost thousands of dollars as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612 You deserved it 884

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