Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
1. He didn't really miss if he "knocked your glasses off your nose". He grazed you but you luckily avoided a concussive blow 2. YDI for triggering his fight-flight instincts. Prank more carefully in the future, ma'am
Gairas 8
Yeah that’s all on you. Fight or Flight is a heck of an instinct and it will hurt like heck if you get fight. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
1. He didn't really miss if he "knocked your glasses off your nose". He grazed you but you luckily avoided a concussive blow 2. YDI for triggering his fight-flight instincts. Prank more carefully in the future, ma'am
Gairas 8
Yeah that’s all on you. Fight or Flight is a heck of an instinct and it will hurt like heck if you get fight. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Justkidding100 41
did this to a friend of mine. luckily I was able to open my fist before I punched her. Still shoved her hard to the ground though. remember flight OR fight. some fight
Yudith 28
Jump Scares: not even once.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Yeah not a science or anything but men do generally have more fight than flight really lol