Now an Android kind of guy · 30 May 2025, 12:00 ·Paranaque City, Philippines

Hacked

Today, at the Apple Store, the crew, security, manager, technician, and fellow customers alike, never bothered covering up to laugh at me when I went there to have my phone fixed. Someone somehow hacked my iPhone, and when I use the Face ID, it makes a bloodcurdling scream of fear in full volume, then shuts down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 107

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Drained · 30 May 2025, 00:00 ·Tokyo, Japan

Snaked

Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 74

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Hungry dad · 27 May 2025, 09:00 ·New York, United States

Home sweet home

Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514 You deserved it 133

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rimenrezon · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Tampa, United States

College life

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 355 You deserved it 2 538

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Anonymous · 26 May 2025, 00:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Bad friend

Today, after I put my friend's birthday in my phone wrong when we first met, I sent him a "Happy Birthday" on the wrong day, thinking it was the day after. I genuinely apologized and changed it. He then sent me an aggressive text about how I’m a bad friend, and won’t be coming to MY birthday party. I’ve apologized 12 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508 You deserved it 108

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louise · 25 May 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Thanks for the memories

Today, I bought a cutting board at a Dollar Store that had a helpful kitchen guide printed on it. It was supposed to list “liquid conversions” but instead said “liquid conversations.” My husband quipped that it reminded him of me in college. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 141

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snowmon06 · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Shoot your shot

Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 473 You deserved it 1 740

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Anonymous · 24 May 2025, 12:00 ·San Diego, United States

Driving me mad

Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156 You deserved it 379

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Kristin · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Great seeing you again

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026 You deserved it 3 981

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Anonymous · 23 May 2025, 03:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Meritocracy, huh?

Today, my dad got mad at me for not believing him when he kept repeating that our dear leader was appointing Judge Judy to the government. I then found out he wasn't far off, so I don't know which is worse, that he was technically correct about some TV judge, or that the actual "judge" is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348 You deserved it 198

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Wannabees · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Racing stripes

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 505 You deserved it 38 247

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

How's about now?

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636 You deserved it 16 410

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sammers27 · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Scottsdale, United States

Rock on, dude

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 566 You deserved it 4 958

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Anywhozit · 20 May 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Go away now

Today, after I tried to give a friend I had for ten years a second chance, after we had a bad falling out because it was "too much for her" that I had a life changing accident and was not upbeat about it, needless to say she has been obnoxious these past 6 months and I should not have let her selfish butt back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 188

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·San Leandro, United States

Family is for sharing

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 183 You deserved it 4 622

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Las Vegas, United States

Not a laughing matter

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 717 You deserved it 5 032

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Anonymous · 18 May 2025, 09:00 ·China

Never engage with crazy

Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 361

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Anonymous · 17 May 2025, 22:00 ·Germany

Badass

Today, my little sister beat me at arm-wrestling. I'm a 15 year-old boy and she's 12. It happened in front of our entire extended family and they all laughed hysterically. I tried to act like I let her win, but the truth is that I was trying as hard as I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 236

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pukeytimes · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Leichhardt, Australia

The joys of spring

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 269 You deserved it 2 330

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Kassy · 16 May 2025, 22:00 ·Leeds, United Kingdom

Falling

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 You deserved it 345

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lol · 16 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Not for everyone

Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 You deserved it 769

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Anonymous · 15 May 2025, 15:00 ·Australia

Game on

Today, myself and three friends went to a games night and we had to come up with a team name. Since I’m black and they’re all white, they insisted on “Interracial”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 105

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TheStingStings · 15 May 2025, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Late afternoon drifting

Today, I had another phone call with my mother; she has rapid onset dementia, and never gets my name right anymore. Already terrible, but she consistently calls me by my abusive ex-partner’s name instead of my own, so I get double trauma. Obviously F her life, but also FML

I agree, your life sucks 600 You deserved it 106

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Lost Reggie · 15 May 2025, 03:00 ·Greenbrier, United States

It's downhill from here

Today, my best friend since 8th grade died. This follows the deaths of my father in 2023, my divorce, and my mother dying last year. I already had an emotional Mother's Day, and now this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630 You deserved it 86

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hahasuckit · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Snark

Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled, "Yeah, right…" in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 730 You deserved it 5 484

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thanks, my fellow americans · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Woodlyn, United States

Bad reputation

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110 You deserved it 13 902

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Anonymous · 11 May 2025, 20:00 ·Shenzhen, China

Stuck

Today, I’ve been unemployed for a year since graduating. I haven’t been able to find a job or feel any joy in my life, and have been stuck at home, completely relying on my parents, but now they’re gonna kick me out. I’ve turned into a complete failure, I can’t even kill myself because I’m not brave enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 You deserved it 204

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Mick · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Opportunist

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 874 You deserved it 95 131

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Anonymous · 11 May 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Praise the Lord

Today, at 7am on a Saturday, my next door neighbor set up a preacher guy with a mic and large speaker. It's 2pm, and I can still hear him screaming about Jesus through my foam insulated walls and $300 noise canceling headphones. I can't sleep, and I'm injured so I can't leave home. That's my Shabbat ruined! FML

I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 130

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Aww! You shouldn't have! ....REALLY! · 10 May 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Get better locks

Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 74

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