Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 15:00 ·Seattle, United States

Let's pretend this never happened

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 131

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Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 00:00 ·India

It's over

Today, I took part in India’s giant emergency drill. I hid in a recycling bin for two hours straight. No one ever came to find me. It turns out the drill was only 20 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203 You deserved it 430

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Heather · 9 May 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Tasty treat

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 81

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 15:00 ·Burlington, United States

Felt cute, might delete later

Today, I put on a new outfit, took a bunch of selfies, and posted the best one to Instagram. Ten minutes later, my grandma commented, “You look tired. Are you eating enough?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 204

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Klinger · 8 May 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Someone check in on this guy

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468 You deserved it 89

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Roomies

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 033 You deserved it 3 058

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ahjhdsbhjjhcs · 8 May 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Charlie Chaplin is not dead

Today, I was watching a movie on my chair. I leaned back on the back of the chair and kept leaning back. Then I slowly fell down with my chair, onto the floor. It made a big noise, but nobody was hurt, it was just really absurd, like I'd watched another episode of Mr. Bean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 355

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rmo1776 · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Where am I?

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140 You deserved it 49 437

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Anonymous · 7 May 2025, 12:00 ·Shanghai, China

Popularity contest

Today, I broke ties with a friend of mine. She said I was her only friend and asked me not to interact with others normally. I'd had enough, and asked her not to bother me again. Then I found out that everyone liked her better and left me alone for lunch, even though she's a gaslighter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 7 May 2025, 00:00

Bad guy

Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557 You deserved it 85

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Justwantthedamnpackage · 6 May 2025, 20:00 ·Dayton, United States

Red tape

Today, I have a time sensitive package from another country that has been sitting in customs for a week. USPS tells me that it’s customs’ responsibility. Customs tells me they processed it and it’s USPS’s responsibility. I can’t fucking win, can I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 6 May 2025, 15:00 ·Suzhou, China

Stop staring

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 5 May 2025, 22:00 ·Seattle, United States

Great party

Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 212

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Anonymous · 5 May 2025, 20:00 ·Australia

Sir…

Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 870

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Anonymous · 5 May 2025, 09:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Who are you? Who am I?

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 173 You deserved it 671

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Snap!

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063 You deserved it 3 101

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Michael tee · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Probably not

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 797 You deserved it 5 149

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Uh oh · 3 May 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Alexa, play "Here Comes the Summer" by The Undertones

Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 185

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Anonymous · 3 May 2025, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Stone the crows

Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577 You deserved it 90

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Not Her, sorry · 3 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Right place…

Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498 You deserved it 149

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Thwack

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, all while sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 137 You deserved it 4 215

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Anonymous · 1 May 2025, 12:00 ·Prague, Czechia

My forever home

Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 1 May 2025, 09:00 ·Jesteburg, Germany

Close proximity

Today, I am appalled that my neighbor was fired from his job. Not because I pity him, but because now he will not only light his stinking grill under my living room window every single night, but also play his radio outside all day long. Also right under my window. His garden is HUGE by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 30 April 2025, 15:00 ·Cork, Ireland

Should be safe… right?

Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491 You deserved it 105

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left-out · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Buggin' out

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 395 You deserved it 2 651

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billie · 29 April 2025, 15:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Making the scene

Today, I had my first day in an acting class. Our assignment was to perform a dramatic monologue. I got super into it, threw myself into character, and dramatically fell to my knees to deliver a line. Unfortunately, my knees slipped, and I faceplanted into the floor in front of the entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 170

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Anonymous · 29 April 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Can't we just get along?

Today, I tried to host a “non-political” BBQ with extended family. Despite my best efforts to avoid politics being brought up, within 30 minutes someone brought up swing states, voter suppression, and deepfake campaign ads. The hamburgers were barely defrosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 155

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Anonymous · 28 April 2025, 15:00 ·Calgary, Canada

Oh, hi Mark!

Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303 You deserved it 129

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Anna · 28 April 2025, 09:00 ·Australia

Balanced

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203 You deserved it 415

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Annoyed · 27 April 2025, 00:00 ·Canada

Welcome!

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523 You deserved it 83

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