Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 22:00 ·Benson, United States

Crunchy

Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 145

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FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU · 26 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Bugging out

Today, I was playing an online chess game against someone with a way higher rating than mine. Amazingly, I was winning… until the fucking game froze, and remained frozen until I ran out of time. It wasn't even bad WiFi. It just froze for no reason, then conveniently started again THE VERY MOMENT I LOST ON TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 96

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Sheila · 26 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

All dolled up

Today, I ordered a designer jacket online. When it arrived, it was doll-sized. It turns out that I bought a limited edition meant for action figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 498

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Rich · 26 April 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

New friend

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272 You deserved it 184

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Falling off the wagon · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Brighton, United Kingdom

Milestone

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 899 You deserved it 3 650

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Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 03:00 ·India

Not really my problem

Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 281

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Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

This is not a drill

Today, my office building had a surprise fire drill. As I rushed to exit, I realized that I’d put on a shirt that was way too tight. It felt like it was practically cutting off my circulation, and I couldn’t breathe too well. I tried to suck in my stomach but almost passed out in the process. I spent the rest of the drill struggling with my shirt while people gave me weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 481

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Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 22:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Weird vibes

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 121

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Tracey · 25 April 2025, 20:00 ·Austin, United States

Bad timing

Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 03:00 ·Buchholz in der Nordheide, Germany

False advertising

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 84

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TooReal · 25 April 2025, 00:00 ·Perth, Australia

Sorry for your loss

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 You deserved it 102

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lukey101 · 24 April 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Kick it

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 324

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Anonymous · 24 April 2025, 12:00 ·Tarpon Springs, United States

Wardrobe malfunction

Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 383

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NOT a daddy’s girl · 24 April 2025, 09:00 ·Riverside, United States

Disappointing

Today, after I tried to be the bigger person and invite my dad to my college graduation/dinner, and he asked when so I gave him the address and times, surprise surprise, he didn’t show up. He didn’t even have the decency to send a damn text. Yet when I’m angry about his crap, I get told I have daddy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 89

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No Prayer for Fools · 24 April 2025, 03:00 ·Paranaque City, Philippines

True believer

Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 73

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mildlyconcussed · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Somma Vesuviana, Italy

Great gig

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042 You deserved it 1 971

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Anonymous · 22 April 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Happy birthday to you

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 22 April 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Authoritarian regime

Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 88

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Meh · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Great gift

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 472 You deserved it 2 898

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Steve Froemming · 20 April 2025, 22:00 ·Minneapolis, United States

Names and faces

Today, I hate when I go out and I forget peoples' names; even though they know me and I know them, I forgot their name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 20 April 2025, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Happy Easter!

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426 You deserved it 355

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sadgirl · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Conway, United States

Nice

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 708 You deserved it 4 443

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xXglycerinXx · 19 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Cart Narcs

Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 74

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What girl gets wet for Nickelback? · 18 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Main character syndrome

Today, I started playing the piano at a party. I've been playing for 15 years, so naturally I'm pretty good. I got halfway through a song before getting shown up by some douche who started playing Nickelback on the guitar. Fucking Nickelback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353 You deserved it 313

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Anonymous · 18 April 2025, 15:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Virallity gone wrong

Today, a screenshot of an old tweet of mine went viral. Unfortunately, it was completely taken out of context, thinking it was saying the opposite of what I actually meant, and now I’m trending on both “Libs of TikTok” and “Woke Watch” or whatever the fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 You deserved it 371

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Jack · 18 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Too close to him

Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 18 April 2025, 03:00 ·The Hague, Netherlands

Bring headphone jacks back on all smartphones!

Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 You deserved it 318

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Anonymous · 17 April 2025, 22:00 ·Warren, United States

Accelerated obsolescence

Today, my cellphone charger suddenly stopped working. I had it for less than 6 months and I don't do anything crazier than unplug the phone when I want to go out and plug it back in. The phone and outlet work perfectly, the inputs are clean, and the charger had excellent ratings from over 2,000 people on Amazon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342 You deserved it 117

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Ethan · 15 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Bold fashion statement

Today, I decided to wear socks with sandals while I ran some errands. The first person I saw was an old friend who looked at me, then looked down at my feet, and then just shook their head and said, “Why? Just… why?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 550

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Anonymous · 14 April 2025, 20:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Bon appétit, boys

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 140

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