Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
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Top comments
harrypotter955 19
Kick her. Don't kick her out of the house. Just kick her.
Serisent 26
That's a little sickening, isn't it?
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Comments (93)
Serisent 26
That's a little sickening, isn't it?
TrueStoryFolks 17
Getting real tired of your shit.
Ambient25 25
Turn off your computer
Nicholi124 10
Lol very much so sickening!
Jaxx66 21
Whoa! Where is all the anger coming from??
iAlissa 34
Yeah, seriously. Calm your shit down guys, I found the comment amusing.
Wizzlbang 10
I swear to god, Carlos...
RocketNinjaFish 12
A little? That's more than just "a little" sickening. That's just disgusting!
flockz 20
at least she missed your face.
lilhellian 27
I was personally thinking that in the middle night the hair rubbed over her face.
DogsPaw 16
I wouldn't care where it was. ***** still nasty.
RemyX1 7
yeah Thats funny. Shoulda kept the bed
Ambient25 25
Thank you Captain Hindsight
Bakarra 22
^Has the power of 20/20 vision into the past? Yea I hear that's pretty rare
Elfkid21 19
word!! i probably wouldn't have given up my bed in the first place!!
harrypotter955 19
Kick her. Don't kick her out of the house. Just kick her.
ComoEsJuan 24
...what happens if OP ends up kicking the shit out her?!
Original_Outcast 23
Then the shit will get on OPs hair.
Jaxx66 21
She couldn't help it. I would be upset, but why kick her? She probably didn't have time to run to the bathroom. Also, from the sounds of it, she was passed out right after.... I would think if someone puked on you, -and they were aware- they'd at least wake you up to clean yourself off. Since she didn't, I think she was still asleep, or so tired she didn't see that she puked on her family.
Vidrill 22
It's a little embarassing to get sick at someone else's house... Still, she should have tried to get to the bathroom quicker....
420Zombie 17
In that situation op probably would have just been trampled instead lol. Lose - lose situation, in my eyes
seriouscat 11
I'd rather me trampled on than have vomit in my hair.
Tempest151 11
She had two sides of the bed to choose to throw up over and she chose your side. You should feel special.
CharresBarkrey 16
Unless the bed is against the wall.
Bakarra 22
My bed is up against the wall, now I have so much more room for activities!
Ambient25 25
....such as?
adi33 8
Mhm nice body
dinosxxrawr 22
karma has a funny way of working these days.
Bakarra 22
Are we assuming that OP has screwed her cousin over sometime in the past? Cuz it seems like the cousin is just a douche too lazy to get up and yak in the toilet, not karma
Jaxx66 21
How is that karma?? Letting someone take your bed sounds like a very nice thing to me. But I also think that OP's cousin was sound asleep and didn't have time to go too the bathroom. You don't always get foresight into these occurrences.
dinosxxrawr 22
i do believe there's good and bad karma. I meant OP was being a good person but ended up getting puked on. and that's karma being an ass.
olpally 33
*vomit orgy* lol. Oh man, Where else did she puke??? Never mind, I don't want to know. Time for a hair cut!
SystemofaBlink41 27
*gags* The image of a vomit orgy is going to haunt for the rest of the day... Thanks!
sux4u121 10
*faps* the image of a vomit orgy is going to arouse me for the rest of my life.
olpally 33
You're welcome #50! :) haha. And 59, DA FUQ is wrong with you? If that's sarcasm, that's really terrible, if not, you got issues regardless of what you say now.
sux4u121 10
Not sarcasm, atleast I wouldn't call it sarcasm, just my sick way of ******* with people... And their vomit.
ColdplaySucks 18
At least she didn't puke all over the bed.
lambda_fml 40
We dont know that.
IZkat 24
I think the bed would have been easier to clean up.
Alycat6363 15
Maybe she secretly hates you? Fyl for being nice to her and her being a bitch back
whatthefreshhell 15
Sometimes people get sick and can't get to the bathroom in time, especially in a strange house. If you've never thrown up while you were asleep, consider yourself lucky.