kelseythompson

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 9:23pm)

kelseythompson

24Fucked!

kelseythompsonkelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1901
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - 21 hours ago<b>mlove2291</b> - yesterday at 5:55am<b>Knight0001</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:15pm<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 1:59pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:48am<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:09am<b>BurlesonWrath</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:06am<b>bigwell</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 8:07am<b>infernno</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 7:45pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:06pm<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:06pm<b>brentt2711</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 9:41am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:30am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:57pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:28pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:30pm

Fucked!<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - 15 hours ago<b>mlove2291</b> - yesterday at 11:55am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:49am<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:43am<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:59pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:27pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:47am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:41am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:57am<b>koganti</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:52am

kelseythompson's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

by hubby / 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

by hmmm / 10/01/2013 at 8:32am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 3:30am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

by someone / 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous