Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davidpropert

Offline (46 minutes ago) | Search for a member

davidpropert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 January 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1219
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

davidpropert's page activity

Visits<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:37am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:34pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:26am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:11am<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:16pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:07pm<b>slimesquish</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:39pm<b>powerrangerpunk</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:59pm<b>brandoneyez1</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:08pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:24pm<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:07pm<b>keifman7</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:03pm<b>daniellak</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:40am<b>j_cat187</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:52am<b>pizzathehutt</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:45am<b>ShadeWolf</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:56am<b>PewDiePie123</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:40am

davidpropert's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of davidpropert's badges

davidpropert's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45801) - you deserved it (4164)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39737) - you deserved it (3886)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (4067)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (8483)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42627) - you deserved it (4154)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33683) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (17831)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (5703)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42018) - you deserved it (5073)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52657) - you deserved it (18592)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (3562)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57775) - you deserved it (5796)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (5505)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: