About davidpropert : I have a raging clue
About davidpropert : I have a raging clue
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davidpropert's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster drying after hand washing it. I learned that it dries much faster when torn into several pieces, courtesy a stray dog that randomly appeared at my house. FML
by Shanarie / 10/05/2015 at 11:40am / United States / Animals
Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML
by nepotwatism @ its finest / 09/23/2015 at 11:05am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Work
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
by Colin Jr. / 09/23/2015 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ACCCHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!! -_- / 09/04/2015 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by grace / 08/13/2015 at 10:54am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML
by whoops / 07/08/2015 at 12:30pm / Taiwan / Holidays
Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML
by SpankyRaven / 06/30/2015 at 1:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by piercednipple / 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 9:26am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was exhausted due to staying up all night practicing for the most important performance of my orchestral career. I decided to take a nap to energize myself in preparation of the evening and woke up just in time to realize I'd missed the entire concert. FML
by bruhskoni / 05/30/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by idonthavereligion / 05/29/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…