Nearly FMLs

By PatriotMissile0 - 22/02/2016 15:38 - United States - Miami

Today, I learned that my ex slept with my brother three times within the week we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 15:34 - United States - Huntersville

Today, I woke up from a dream involving my crush. Apparently I'm so afraid of affection that when he said "I love you" in the dream, I bailed by saying "Yeah, thanks" and woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bad luck - 22/02/2016 15:13 - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat died of cancer, so we adopted a new one from the humane society. When we took it to the vet to get shots, it turned out our new cat was horribly allergic to the rabies shot and died right there. Two cats in two weeks. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By HeadSetMike - 22/02/2016 15:10 - United States - Castro Valley

Today, was the closing period for the 6 week grading period. Today is also the day my Biology teacher entered grades. The system glitched and I got a 14/1000 effectively dropping my grade to a 9%. My teacher said it would be fixed, but not in time to make me eligible for sports this semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 14:39 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was talking to my friend and he was eating a healthy cracker-like alternative to Oreo cookies. I asked him if I could spot one because I used to buy them and have been craving them for a while. He looked me in the eyes, and said "Oh really? You don't look very healthy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 14:35 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I got my period while trying on wedding dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By TopsyKretts - 22/02/2016 14:21 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was informed that my fiancé has been cheating on me since he found out I'm pregnant three months ago. His excuse was that he only did it while he was at work so it "doesn't really count". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By TeacherTeacher - 22/02/2016 14:14 - France - Saint-martin-d'heres

Today, I had to teach a class of 18-year-olds how to tell the time. In their native language. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 14:09 - United States - Roxboro

Today, my class that is only on a Monday had its 4th snow day. The school has decided we are too far behind and has removed the class. I don't get a refund for my book nor my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By xXbearsfanXx - 22/02/2016 14:02 - United States - Naperville

Today, while on the bus some kid before me sharted on the seat. Which I didn't see until I sat right into some kids crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Midnightpearls - 22/02/2016 14:00 - United States - New York

Today, my ex-boyfriend became my step-dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 13:53 - India - Delhi

Today, I was trying to curl my long waist length hair with a circle brush. Halfway through, it got stuck in my hair and I panicked and tried to pull it out which was a bad idea. Now I have a pageboy haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BaconMan65 - 22/02/2016 13:38 - United States - Mesa

Today, My welding teacher took me aside and informed me that I "needed to work on my social niceties" and considering this is the guy who five minutes before yelled at a kid to "watch his fucking language" after dropping the f-bomb that's saying something, FML

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You deserved it 0

By iSamsung - 22/02/2016 13:12 - United States - Niles

Today, I decided it would be nice to masturbate in the hospital. About a minute later, the nurse rushes into my room and screams "ARE YOU OKAY!?". Talk about awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By TheChubster - 22/02/2016 12:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I broke my dick, the only thing worse than breaking it, was having my parents see it and my very nude (now ex) girlfriend as they burst through my bedroom door because of my blood curdling screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sigh - 22/02/2016 12:43 - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I confronted my boss about cutting my hours down because they were getting too much. He responded by putting two extra shifts on top of my 70+ hour week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Bawsack - 22/02/2016 12:39 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I immersed myself in Star Wars Battlefront. all was going well until I got a call from my boss wondering where I was because I was late for an important business meeting. I lied and told him I had diarrhea because that was less embarrassing than force choking people as Darth Vader. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By cheflifeorunemployed - 22/02/2016 12:35 - Australia

Today I was cooking for a big wedding at work. Wanting to impress the cute event coordinator, I added bacon and cheese to the risotto balls. Turns out the bride, the groom and most of their families and friends are Muslim. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By Growlithe1395 - 22/02/2016 12:25 - United States - Glen Mills

Today, My parents threw away the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks instead because "I need to watch my weight.".FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 12:07 - United States - Bedford

Today, after dating my girlfriend for 4 years, we were about to lose our virginity in the back of her car, I finished before I even put it in, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By MyNoseHurts - 22/02/2016 11:56 - United States - Baltimore

Today, me and my husband were having a tickle fight. he went to tickle my feet and I tickled under his arms. I'm now sitting in the e.r with a broken nose. He sat up fast, and smashed.into my nose with his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By JustUGH. - 22/02/2016 11:25 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I told my parents that I think I have another lipoma forming on my back, in the same spot as a recent surgery. My dad immediately freaked out and yelled at me for, essentially, "finding another problem" and that I need to "let it heal." Just trying to be healthy. Sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sashimi - 22/02/2016 10:34 - Philippines - Manila

Today, I found out how my breakup with my boyfriend was an impact on my social circle. My friends hang out with him more often now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hugforpugs - 22/02/2016 09:41 - Australia

Today, I realised just how lonely I really am after sitting here talking to my cat for an hour. I'm a pretty outgoing person yet I still only have my cat to talk to. FML

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You deserved it 0

By awspinks77 - 22/02/2016 09:35 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, 3 police officers interrupted mine and my wife's love making. Apparently our daughter woke up and heard us, and thought I was beating mommy. She called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By a poor soul - 22/02/2016 09:11 - Germany

Today,I realised that in every group of friends there is one "friend" that everyone secretly hates.I today realised that that friend is me.FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 09:02 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a dream that I had a friend, Pad, an animated maxi pad. We flew all over the world teaching girls about their periods. Then Pad got used and was thrown away. I cried. In real life. About a maxi pad that doesn't exist. FML

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You deserved it 0

By FlickWaffle - 22/02/2016 09:02 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I went in to work to sign my new contract after being given a promotion. I thought I was safe to tell all my family & friends about it as it was practically a done deal! Turns out they've cut hours and now I'm worse off than I was before, & I have the humiliating task of telling everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Whatapuffchild - 22/02/2016 08:40 - Singapore

Today, for a half a year now, I've been suffering with stomach issues. After telling this to a classmate, they exclaimed "Then why aren't you skinny." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 07:29 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I laughed so hard at my own joke that I gave myself an asthma attack and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 40 869

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 720

You deserved it 3 090

Today, thinking my ex-gothic friend was going through another "wear all black" phase, I walked up to her and jokingly asked who died. Her father. Her father died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 3 943

Today, I found out that my engagement ring was actually my husband's ex-fiancée's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 697

You deserved it 3 965

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 102

You deserved it 2 439

Today, I'm unloved by my partner. She has not made love with me for one and a half years. On our anniversary two years ago, she told me we had nothing to celebrate, that I had achieved nothing in more than a decade we have been together. I lost 25 kgs and got a new job earning around 80K a year. Still nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 251