Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 22:59 - Canada - Laval

Today, I was walking home from school in the snow. The bottom of my school bag ripped and now my laptop, iPad, textbooks, and three semesters' worth of notes are all wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 22:47 - United States - Durham

Today, my husband got into his second car accident. they are within three weeks of each other. The people we hit said they were fine, until the paramedics showed up, then a passenger was suddenly pregnant. I'm almost certain they will sue us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alexi - 24/02/2016 22:46 - United States - Apopka

Today, I'm out sick for the first time in over 5 years. I can barely stand or talk, and my eyes feel as if they're shaking. However, due to my teachers' new "no late work" policy, I'm still expected to write an entire essay tonight, then come to school tomorrow for 3 tests. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By chelsee - 24/02/2016 22:38 - United States - Apopka

Today, my dad tries to demonstrate a "dab" for my mom in the middle of a restaurant. As if this wasn't bad enough, he did it just as the waiter walked by. He hit the waiter in the crotch. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By KingFeg|iFunny - 24/02/2016 22:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I made my first move on this girl I like, when I went in for the kiss she dabbed and said "I got you good bro" and then continued to laugh, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Candice - 24/02/2016 22:13 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, I found out just how thin the walls of my flat really are when my one night stand picked me up to fuck me against the wall and we went straight through the plaster and ended up on the floor of my neighbors shower stall, while she was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FalloutScrolls - 24/02/2016 21:43 - United States - Chicago

Today, at a public event, there was a zipline, and the group I was with all wanted to go on it. I'm very self-conscious about my weight, but against my better judgement, I put the harness on and was told to get on a scale. I was too heavy for it. Public humiliation ensued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 21:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got told off at work for being too friendly. I work as a receptionist and my job is to greet clients in a friendly and courteous manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 24/02/2016 21:40 - United States - Collierville

Today, I was standing in the hallway with my friends. Some group of girls walked past me saying, "Look at him, He's so ugly!" I thought nothing of it until they walked past me, turned around and said, "Oh my God, that's a girl!" The walked away pointing and laughing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FML - 24/02/2016 21:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend broke up because he found another girl. When I asked who it was it Turned out to be my Ex girlfriend. I then told him that it was my ex girlfriend and the only word he said was "Threesom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By otakupowers - 24/02/2016 21:24 - United States - Fremont

Today, I had to babysit my cousins. I couldn't find the oldest during hide and seek, and assumed he was busy doing something else. I ducked into the bathroom to go pee, and guess who was behind the shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anon - 24/02/2016 21:24 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, I realised the contraception I take stops me getting pregnant but not only by making my womb unfriendly but by making me never want sex. Nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By notmyproudestmomemt - 24/02/2016 21:23 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, my fiancé came home completely wasted, stripped to his boxers, went to the bathroom, puked his brains out, and then proceeded to pass out on the floor with his balls hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NickACD - 24/02/2016 21:19 - United States - San Diego

Today, my dog ran out into the street, luckily she wasn't hit because the car stopped. The woman driving got out and started yelling at me for allowing her to get into the street. She was on a leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By madds - 24/02/2016 21:15 - United States - Highland Park

Today, after my young son watched some Harry Potter movies, he decided that he wants to be a wizard. Later, after coming back from changing his sister and noticing he was gone, I looked around and found my son near my bed waving my dildo around. When he noticed me he yelled "look at my wand mommy!"

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By How'd that get there - 24/02/2016 21:12 - United States - Middlesex

Today, I found a tick on the shaft of my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By YB0ther - 24/02/2016 21:10 - United States - Richmond

Today, I decided to strike up a conversation with a coworker, as I am normally very shy. I thought it went quite well. Later I heard her telling other coworkers how annoying I am, and how awful it was to have to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jweinz - 24/02/2016 21:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, one of the people in my group project wouldn't stop changing everything that I did, and was making it worse. After she yelled at me, I yelled at her and proved her wrong. I just got put in another project with her, both affect the final grades of the classes more than the exams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By idontknowwhytheylaughed - 24/02/2016 20:58 - United States - Belleville

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his parents. They laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 20:52 - Canada - Welland

Today, i woke up to my dog sitting on my face. After two showers I still can't get the stench of wet dog and shit. It stinks so bad, I find myself almost throwing up. Here's the best part, i get the honour of meeting my girlfriends parents tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By iwanttosleepin - 24/02/2016 20:48 - Canada

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when I brushed my teeth in the shower I ended up putting the body wash on the toothbrush instead of the toothpaste. Such a fresh start to the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 20:43 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I didn't recognize a shirt in my room so I sent a picture to my boyfriend telling him he forgot his shirt. It ended up being my roommates shirt but my boyfriend accused me of cheating and we are now so far into our fight that it doesn't even matter anymore. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By buttsmelenium - 24/02/2016 20:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little brother walked up to me to ask me a question and a little brown ball fell out of his shorts I asked him what it was and he kicked it away, it was poop.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Chrisrulez66 - 24/02/2016 20:11 - Germany - Essen

Today, my little girl told me she had a surprise for me in her lunch box. Yeah, it was surprising! It was vomit.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oatmeal1311 - 24/02/2016 20:10 - United States - Houston

Today, I was asked for my phone number for the first time in 2 years. It was by a developmetally disabled guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WillCryForFood - 24/02/2016 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out that the homeless man I give 5$ a day on my way to work makes more a week then me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By unloved - 24/02/2016 19:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, my husband told me he doesn't want to be with me after asking why, he replied. I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kara_araK - 24/02/2016 19:51 - South Africa - Roodepoort

Today, I was feeling self-conscious about my stretch marks on my stomach and complained to my fiancé. He said "It's okay babe, they almost make a full circle so it's not that bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 24/02/2016 19:48 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I celebrated my birthday after being sober 5 months. I was gifted 5 wine bottles in total, all from friends who know about my past addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Trapgirl747 - 24/02/2016 19:45 - Canada - Fairview

Today, my drunk mother told me about her dream she had in which as a boy my age was about to enter my room she questioned him until his mother came and then she proceeded to choke her to death, carve words on her belly, and hang her in my bedroom. I think my mother's a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 122

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 885

You deserved it 2 987

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 778

You deserved it 4 867

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 464

You deserved it 10 448

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 731

You deserved it 9 934

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 609

You deserved it 1 268