Nearly FMLs

By apaton - 17/03/2016 00:41 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was walking up to my front porch my girlfriend pointed out a slug the was crawling on the ground. She decided to point it out last minute as I was stepping on it. Once I stepped on it she became angry at me and started saying I never listen to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By heartbroken - 17/03/2016 00:21 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, was the day that marked a year and half of a fantastic relationship with a guy who was determined he was going to marry me. Today was also the day I had to identify him in a morgue after he was in a fatal car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By GreekGleek6 - 17/03/2016 00:14 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I am so poor that instead of buying a new pair of jeans I had to mend the hole in the inner thigh of them with super glue and string. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 00:08 - United States - Pineview

Today, I tried to call in for one of my weekend shifts as I'm also in full time college and found out I have 5 tests next week. Not only did my boss say no, she then put me on the schedule for additional hours. I guess that will show me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Itadakimassachusetts - 16/03/2016 23:48 - United States - Mclean

Today, after a month of going to cooking classes, I finally got the chance to make dinner for my coworker who I have a crush on. She told me that the food was the best she'd ever tasted and asked if she could bring her boyfriend to taste some next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ifunny: KINGFML - 16/03/2016 23:46 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was at a skatepark with a box jump. There was a high jump competition at the box jump and I decided to film it instead of participating. Half way through one of the kids jumping it let go of his scooter. The scooter hit the ground then bounced and hit me. I was blamed for his bent bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Nightmare16 - 16/03/2016 23:42 - United States

Today, I discovered what I thought was my lawnmower, is actually where every wasp in the northeastern hemisphere hibernates. I was stung close to 20 times in 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By LASS - 16/03/2016 23:37 - United States - Louisville

Today, my grandpa passed away. My family decided not to tell me. How did I find out? My aunt posted a Facebook status about his passing and tagged everyone in the family but me. Her response when I confronted her about the post... Oh I was hoping you did see that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 23:23 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, I dropped my brand new iPhone 6S. It slid out of my pocket, whilst I was changing my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Dorminion - 16/03/2016 23:20 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife has just informed me that her mother will be bringing her cat on her annual trip down to our house. I am deathly allergic to cats, so I will have to rent a hotel room the whole time the cat is staying. When I told my wife this, she said "That's the point." and handed me a suitcase FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 16/03/2016 23:10 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend had a breakdown, so I invited her to spend the night. I had to wake up at 3:30 am to drive my brother to the airport. She promised she would go straight to sleep. She didn't. When I got back, she didn't go back to sleep and made sure I didn't either. I have two test today. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By youneedtostop - 16/03/2016 22:56 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I took a practice AP exam in my literature class that I failed with a low 40%. I've paid $92 dollars for an official AP Lit exam I now know for sure I'm going to fail. I'm broke and still a failure in that class. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Tytonic - 16/03/2016 22:54 - United States - Washington

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was a card from the dentist's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By carissaball - 16/03/2016 22:48 - United States - Spokane

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Not in person or over text, but by kicking me out of his clan on Clash of Clans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By TheSneakyNugget - 16/03/2016 22:42 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I got fired from my job as a Middle School math teacher for saying "dice" instead of "fair number cubes" as the district insisted. Apparently I'm promoting gambling for the students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By justintheboss2 - 16/03/2016 22:39 - United States - Parlin

Today, my dog ran out of the house and circled the neighborhood for 2 hours. After nonstop chasing I finally got her back on my street. As soon as my girlfriend pulled up in front of my house, my dog jumped on her and happily walked inside. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By kaylocca - 16/03/2016 22:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while leaving work I twisted my ankle because the sidewalk had a big hole in it and I didn't realize and now I can barely walk. I work in sales going door to door to every store in the Bronx. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By nothinglefthere - 16/03/2016 21:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, it was very windy at my security job. We are required to wear hard hats the entire shift. The wind blew my hard hat over my face and as I tried to catch it, it hit me in the face. My nose is most likely broken. My falling object protection fell and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By StetsonSalvatore - 16/03/2016 21:52 - United States

Today, I've spent all day playing around with my 9 month old daughter. We were having lots of fun. I, like most dad's do, started throwing her in the air and catching get. It was all fun and games until she threw up. I had my mouth open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Damasen - 16/03/2016 21:40 - United States - Deridder

Today, I had my braces tightened and my allergies are acting up, so I sneeze and cough all day while my mouth is hurting. Today is also my birthday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 21:34 - United States

Today I was bitched out because I threw out the last 3 slices of pizza because they had gotten old and nasty in the fridge. 3 weeks ago I was bitched out because I ate the last three slices of pizza because nobody else seemed to want them, so I ate them lest they go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Chefinblack - 16/03/2016 21:31 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I walked in on my Girlfriend of 4 years and mother to my son in bed with another man. Her excuse? 'Well what did you think was gonna happen after we settle down with a kid?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Erin.Loves.Food - 16/03/2016 21:26 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the trash can of my school along with my school lunch. I had to stop the custodian before he threw the trash bags he had collected into the compact machine. I ended up picking through the trash for 10 minutes and was late for my next class. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By The_ghetto_mango - 16/03/2016 21:22 - United States - Peculiar

Today, I tried to kill an annoying fly that had been bothering me all day with my metal flyswatter. I managed to kill the fly, but I broke my arm and my window diving toward it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By u_skank_coffee_ho_u - 16/03/2016 21:15 - Germany - N?rnberg

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at his work with a cup of coffee from the best café in town. He loved it. He managed to take one satisfying drink before a customer stole it while his back was turned. fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 21:10 - United States

Today, my parents finally took me to visit my brother, whom I haven't seen since I was a single digit. We went to where he worked to go surprise him, only to be informed he wasn't working that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By emiquick_01 - 16/03/2016 20:49 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for an unknown reason. I was devastated. When on Facebook the next day his relationship status was in a relationship. When I called him and told him to change it he said that he already had another girlfriend that was better than me. Now I know why.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Ilovemusic237 - 16/03/2016 20:46 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my mother brought home a bunch of baby chicks to raise, and believe it or not, for some reason she decided to keep them in our dining room. The dining room is really close to my room and they won't stop chirping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:44 - United States - Durham

Today, my period cramps are so agonizingly painful I was forced to stay in bed. This was my only chance of seeing my best friend before I go back to school in another state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By FatherChristmas - 16/03/2016 20:43

Today, I realized that I am about to fail my first college class. This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I will probably lose my $11500 a year scholarship, making it impossible for me to continue schooling here. And I am 1500 miles from home. And it's a bullshit English class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 153

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 198

Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 116

Today, at my new job at McDonald’s, they only had uniform pants in a size 36 or 56, nothing in between. I’m a size 40 so I squeezed into the 36. When I told my supervisor I couldn’t tuck my shirt into the pants like they asked, because I couldn’t close the top button, she told me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 209

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 430

You deserved it 6 617

Today, my dog left his very loud and obnoxious squeaky stuffed-toy in the paddock and my horse got a hold of it. My horse won't stop and I can't get it away from him. It's been 6 hours and the noise hasn't stopped yet. It also shows no signs of doing so any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 538

You deserved it 637