Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:39 - United States - Durham

Today, the tiny wasp nest I was trying to remove from my balcony fell into my cleavage. The good news? Only a couple of them stung me. The bad news? I have several painful bumps on boobs and I'm a breast-feeding mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ohno - 16/03/2016 20:31 - United States - Durham

Today, my ex thought he was clever enough to stalk me all the way to my class at my university. He was sitting in the corner of the lecture hall, staring at me and pretending to take notes. He doesn't even go here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By b(ad)-day - 16/03/2016 20:23 - United Kingdom - Cirencester

Today, it's my 15th birthday. Nobody else seems to know however, since my pet fish and the bus driver were the only ones to show any attention towards me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:18 - United States - Durham

Today, I went to water my plants and locked myself out of my house while boiling water for tea. The kettle was mocking me loudly the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:17 - Canada - Angus

Today, while at work, my PTSD deciding to rear it's ugly head for the first time in 2 years; causing me to shake uncontrollably and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ak girl - 16/03/2016 20:12 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I woke up and came upstairs to where my kitchen is. I was greeted at the bottom of the stairs by one of my dogs, presumably because when I got up the stairs the entire floor was covered with garbage from the trash can and dog poop. This isn't even the first time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Rocket___Candy - 16/03/2016 20:10 - United States - Bellevue

Today, it's Spring Break, which normally would be perfect. However, I'm currently stuck in my bathroom, switching between the constant urge to vomit, crippling period cramps, and diarrhea. Happy Spring Break to me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Lexi - 16/03/2016 20:10 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while chatting with my new boyfriend, I realized that he has passed the point of being homophobic: he does not believe gay people even exist. I'm bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:05 - United States - Arvada

Today, I had to have a conversation with my boyfriend about why he actually needs to use soap when he showers. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Gabryl1312 - 16/03/2016 20:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I just realized that I don't have enough money to file my tax return to get my money from my tax return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By seanixjayde - 16/03/2016 19:45 - United States - Springfield

Today, Not only did my aunt die last week, but my boyfriend also broke up with me. I asked him why he would do such a thing at a time when I need him most, he replied with "that's life" walked into my room and took everything he had ever gotten me. Including concert tickets to my favorite band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By rachgirl6 - 16/03/2016 19:37 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while assembly was on at my new school I went to use the bathroom. I then found out that door gets stuck and I was locked in, people couldn't hear me over the assembly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Sigma777 - 16/03/2016 19:22 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I realize what color immigration cars are when I drove my parent's government owned vomit green van to Home Depot and got cursed out by several Mexicans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By WolfyCubb - 16/03/2016 19:18 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out last minute that my grandfather is going to be buried this weekend. I left my manager a message to request the day off to go to his burial since it's a 4 hour drive away. She called back and said if I don't go to work that day, I'm fired. But if I do, my family will shun me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Drama Teacher - 16/03/2016 19:13 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, while working as a teacher, the phone in my office rang. Eager to get it in case it was something important, I ran to my office, tripping over the cable for the boiling kettle and scalding my legs in the process. The call wasn't for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By noparty - 16/03/2016 18:31 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, my boss told me that i am no longer needed at work. No more than five minutes after i left, did i realise that i'd left something at my desk, so i went back to get it. When i walked back in, there was a job offer, my old job, and it was offering more than three times the pay i was getting.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Quiet_one - 16/03/2016 18:30 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I found out via Facebook that one of my favorite coworkers is an avid Trump supporter. I never would have guessed she was like that, but now I don't think I can look at her the same way again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By idek1234 - 16/03/2016 18:29 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I handed in my essay that I had written. It was only a small one, but after being told by most of my class mates it was good I started to feel good about my story. When I got it back my teacher said I was a shit writer and needed to learn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By satan_hates_me - 16/03/2016 18:18 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to wait three hours for a train as I missed a train because my asshole of a friend didn't keep his promise of dropping me at the station on time. I have been traveling for 6 hours now because I don't have enough money for uber and I can't bother him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Baderplerp98 - 16/03/2016 18:07 - Belgium - Brugge

Today, I was in the car and started having this itch in my neck, so I started scratching. 5 minutes later my neck was still itchy so I decided to look in the car mirror. As I looked I saw something HUGE move and then realised that it was a cockroach! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Wraith09 - 16/03/2016 17:54 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, I had to deliberately spill some coffee on my lap to cover the dribble stains from not shaking well enough in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 17:34 - United States - Cary

Today, I discovered a domestic bunny decided to move in with me. I'd been considering adopting one, and would have taken care of this one, if it were actually alive. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By aurelj1 - 16/03/2016 17:34 - United States - Garland

Today, Donald Trump won my states primary election. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 17:31 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my baby brother who is one year old decided to pull a box of soda cans onto the floor, causing the cans to burst and leak, making a huge puddle. Then he decided to play in the sticky mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anon - 16/03/2016 17:19 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, in my class, we were using a site that links the students from their phones to the tv in the front of the class to answer trivia questions. Students are able to enter their usernames. "[My name] loves hentai" appeared. Not knowing what that is, my teacher looked it up. On screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 17:06 - United States - Redmond

Today, as I arrived to my 8 hour shift as a delivery driver I had to change a flat tire on my car. Turns out, my spare tire was flat, too.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By broken - 16/03/2016 17:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, After 6 months of separation, the love of my life moved back in for a week now. She swore up and down she's not with her boyfriend. Today is also the day he decided to message me and ask why she barely talks to him and to make sure nothings going on with us. How many lies can you tell? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bakemono - 16/03/2016 17:04 - United States - Warren

Today, I was bitched at by 'friends' for celebrating my birthday because it is also the 7th anniversary of 4 kids from my high schools death fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 16/03/2016 17:03 - Canada - Guelph

Today, I saw my boyfriends penis for the first time. All three inches of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Cloudywithachanceofdang - 16/03/2016 17:03 - United States - Bridge City

Today, as always, I work as a TV meteorologist. I went to a party and was mingling and some guy asked me what I do. I said I was a TV meteorologist for a news station. He then replied, "That's really cool. But isn't funny that your whole job can be replaced by an app? Haha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 44

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I checked Life360 to see how close my dad was to home. His profile stopped moving for several minutes, then it greyed out and the app said he couldn't be found. My mom and I thought something terrible had happened. After one very stressful half hour, he appeared. His phone had gone into airplane mode… somehow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 410

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 494

You deserved it 8 387

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 86 770

Today, my boyfriend is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I'm wearing leggings, sweatpants, a vest, t-shirt, jumper and hoodie. If we turn the heating any higher, he starts overheating and sweating. At the current level, I'm still shivering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 293

Today, I was sitting down to do my homework when I severely sprained my ankle. I live on the third floor and can’t walk far without severe pain, and I'm broke, so a compression bandage is out of the question. I can’t wait until the first of the month when I get paid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 152

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 679

You deserved it 3 742