Nearly FMLs

By ItsGoogle - 23/03/2016 23:33 - United States - Oil City

Today, while driving to my friends house I learned that listening to music and concentrating on driving is pretty difficult as I crashed into someone's porch. This is only my sixth time driving alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By notstraight - 23/03/2016 23:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I found out the straight girl I used to have a massive crush on is actually a lesbian. How? I walked in on her fucking my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon1903 - 23/03/2016 23:20 - United States - High Point

Today, my $40 dollar laptop charger stopped working, the $100 dollar power supply in my desktop is burning, and the brand new wheel and tire on my truck came off and shredded the rubber. I'm on a college budget. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tfw no gf - 23/03/2016 23:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I posted prom date application forms all over my school. A few hours later, I saw that someone wrote "this is proof that you'll be forever alone" on one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Sad - 23/03/2016 23:13 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, he replied, "You've been wanting way to much from me, it's annoying.". Apparently expecting him to comfort me after my dad died in the hospital is to much to ask from the person you've dated for 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LaughingKoala - 23/03/2016 22:49

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I didn't agree with her opinion about my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jojo Jefferson - 23/03/2016 22:39 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after school, work, football practice, and making dinner for my younger brother, he convinced my parents that I dont do my share of the work around the house and I should be grounded because I was lazy. This was coming from my thirteen year old brother who literally does nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Sanosukeskitten - 23/03/2016 22:02 - United States - Skowhegan

Today, I ended up back in the emergency room with an infection. Why? Because the hospital couldn't have been bothered with making sure it wasn't there when I was released three days prior. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shittyhands - 23/03/2016 21:52 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I took my large dog for a walk. As I reached down to bag her mess, she took off after a squirrel. Turns out it was only a leaf blowing in the wind, but that didn't stop her from yanking me to the ground, where I fell hands first into her hot, steamy pile of dogshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gooddaybadday - 23/03/2016 21:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started my very first shift at a call center. Everything went okay and I was pretty happy. After work I checked my email and found new messages from law schools. I've been waiting 6 months to hear back, only to find out I've been rejected. So much for the good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whoagrandma - 23/03/2016 21:27 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today, while helping my family clear out my recently deceased grandmother's apartment, I discovered not 1 but 3 pairs of fishnet stockings in her bedside drawer - all with the crotches cut out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By He won the bet - 23/03/2016 21:19 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was finally able to have some fun with the guy I've been crushing on. This would've been great if he wasn't just doing it to win a $5 bet with his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mother - 23/03/2016 21:06 - Denmark - S?borg

Today, 2 days after a caesarean my husband remembered to tell me he's going away on a conference in 2 weeks. I'm not allowed to lift our 1 year old son for another 6 weeks. He's known about this for months, but leaving it this late I'm unable to get anyone to come and help. He refuses to cancel.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Two weeks until my show - 23/03/2016 21:05 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I managed to dislocate my knee. This isn't the first time it has happened so it wasn't too bad and I managed to put it back in place. It was still hard to walk on so the nurse put a brace on it and made me use crutches. On the way out to the car I fell. And broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 20:55 - United States

Today, while mopping the women's bathroom floor at Walmart a costumer told me to hurry up. I told her that I had to use the dry mop and I would be done. The costumer responded by pulling her pants down, squatting and pissing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mini-me in the making - 23/03/2016 20:52 - United States - Naperville

Today, I got a call from my daughter's teacher. Thinking she was in trouble, I drove up to her school. She wasn't in trouble. Her teacher just thinks my daughter doesn't have what it takes to become a meteorologist like me. My daughter has a GPA above a 4.0 and got straight A's last semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Rattatats - 23/03/2016 20:46 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the pool at our hotel, when someone held me underwater and took the upper part of my swimsuit. As I tried to get them back from him, his friend ripped off my lower part of my swimsuit and got away. I'm hiding in the bathroom typing this. I don't know what to do. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Red Waterfall - 23/03/2016 20:44 - United States - Hempstead

Today, I was taking a test. As I was turning it in, blood started to run down my legs (I was wearing a dress). Turns out I had bled through my tampon without realizing, and had to scurry out quickly before any questions could be asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Trusting Homeowner - 23/03/2016 20:42 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that people can't always be trusted. A contractor destroyed the walls in my new house, walked off the job, and kept all of the materials that I paid for along with the "labor" deposit. Doing a background check now, he's been convicted of burglary 3x. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kindalb54 - 23/03/2016 20:33 - United States

Today, I walked on my girlfriend of 10 years with flowers because it was our anniversary and I open the door and she's sucking some dude off and the dude yells at me "get the hell out" and it was my house.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By EmperorPalpatine - 23/03/2016 20:13 - United States - Houston

Today, My guidance counselor told me that I was going to fail geometry if I didn't take an online class over the summer. I spent my whole summer taking the class, just to be told by the guidance counselor, that I actually passed geometry with an C-, she then voided the online credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By P.S. I'm allergic - 23/03/2016 19:43 - United States - Stillwater

Today, as I was leaving to school, I noticed that a wasp had somehow gotten inside my car. I opened the door and waited for it to leave. After 20 minutes, I figured that it must have already left because I no longer saw it. I was wrong; it stung me twice when I started driving.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TootToot - 23/03/2016 19:33 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my friends, family, and girlfriend came in for a surprise birthday party I had no idea they were planning. I thought I was going to be home alone until tonight, and had ripped a series of horrendously smelly egg farts moments before they walked in. Everyone was quiet after walking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 422

You deserved it 1 449

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 19:32 - United States - Galion

Today, I got fired from my first job ever. It was only the second day of training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 19:30 - United States - Reedley

Today, I arrived at a family's house to watch their dog while they go on vacation. When I went in, I found that there were two dogs waiting for me. I texted the owners, and they said "Oh, sorry, she was supposed to be put down on Friday but our vet's out of town". I'm watching a dog on Death Row. FM

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 19:29 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, after months of trying out new hair growth treatments, I am finally seeing results. My pubic hair is long enough to braid while the hair on my head is still non-existent. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 19:26 - United States - Mission

Today, after a really long day, I was venting to a friend in one of my work groups about how we exchange glances when the rest of the group fights childishly and wastes time. The app switched the group titles and I posted that message to the group chat. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Ellendyra - 23/03/2016 19:19 - United States - Washington

Today, my boyfriend's mom insisted he take a drug test. He was too tired to drive home last night. She insists I must have drugged him for him to get so tired that fast. The results aren't even back yet and she's already told everyone I drugged him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Blab - 23/03/2016 19:07 - United States - Church Point

Today, my roommates decided to play a prank on an old neighbor of mine, and were continuously shitting in his yard, the cops got involved and I was arrested despite not being involved with anything. My mom just dropped me back at my house, and I am on probation. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 23/03/2016 18:58 - United States

Today, I got the promotion at work which is great, however my friend who applied for the same job said the only reason I got it was because management sabotaged her resume and made sure she couldn't get the job. We both agreed that we would support the other if the other got it.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, they've been building a house next door. I went to wash and wax my car, and I was back home for only 10 minutes before a Bobcat digger backed into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 68

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 463

You deserved it 3 264

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 024

You deserved it 36 940

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 364

You deserved it 2 126

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 782

You deserved it 4 144

Today, my family picked a place for my birthday dinner. They chose a seafood restaurant. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 004

You deserved it 1 526