Nearly FMLs

By toothless - 23/03/2016 04:25 - United States - Ottawa

Today, I had dream where I lost all of my teeth. In the dream, I tried to tell myself I need to wake up because it's only in dreams that I lose teeth but I wouldn't wake up. I had accept that I was going to be toothless for the rest of my life. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BeccaRaye - 23/03/2016 04:08 - United States - Appleton

Today, while at the mall in over heard a teenage girl say "the first things I notice abut a guy is his teeth and his shoes. Like if he has braces or ugly shoes I just pretend he doesn't exist". I have lost faith in the next generation, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Stepsister - 23/03/2016 04:06 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I finally realized my 14 year old stepbrother has been stealing my underwear and keeping them. I'm a little scared to ask why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NordicNathan - 23/03/2016 04:05 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my brother showed me a new technique that he had been working on for months. A small twisting motion while masturbating, apparently "beating your meat" in front of your sister suddenly becomes fine the second you move to Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ashleypittman - 23/03/2016 03:56 - United States

Today, I was walking in Walmart and a little girl stopped me and asked me to help her find her mom,well we walked up front and I asked to lady to call the mom up front, and when the mom gets their she makes a big scene on who I tried to steal her kid, and everyone left our line that had kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Eleora - 23/03/2016 03:54 - United States - Houston

Today, while at work, a woman came in asking if we sold any Trump shirts. I had to listen to her ramble about how great of a man he is, and how he's going to make America great again. I'm just a sales associate at a sporting goods store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 03:50 - United States - Norristown

Today, My mother in law has continued for last 3 months to call me "fat ass" and "extremely obese". I am 6 foot 2" 225 pounds. She is 5 foot 5 and weighs around 375.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DemonEthanol - 23/03/2016 03:48

Today, I got catcalled by a middle-aged guy while I was on break at work, and a black eye because he apparently thought his crappy eyesight was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 03:46 - United States - Portland

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me without explanation. Not an hour later and she is in a relationship with her new old man of a roommate. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 03:41 - United States - Smithtown

Today I was finally feeling completely over my ex. I went out to lunch with a friend and had a few glasses of wine so, thinking how I'm so fine with the break up, I thought in my drunk horny state that I would text him just to hook up. He turned me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 2

By IHateMyJob - 23/03/2016 03:25

Today, a lady came into the store I work in and demanded that I walk her to every item she wanted. She got angry with me when we didn't have something in her size. After she left, she came back and screamed at me for not giving her the receipt. I had just put it in her hand.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Rattatats - 23/03/2016 03:14 - United States - Stacy

Today, I was walking on the beach when I was attacked by teenagers. They handcuffed my hands and feet, threw me in the sand, pulled my panties over my head, and duct-aped my panties to my forehead.I was stuck rolling around for 2 hours in an atomic wedgie before a cop finally helped me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 03:10 - United States - Paterson

Today, while I sat in class, the hot girl in front of me was wearing a thong with very see through leggings. While I was spacing out and staring at her ass, the teacher called me up to do a math problem on the board. I got up in front of the whole class with a boner and had on basketball shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By StarlightRose - 23/03/2016 03:09 - Canada

Today, I got home from school and I was exhausted so I sat in bed on my phone and I dropped it on my face and my stupid glasses cracked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I finished a long concert that I worked my ass off for, that included a solo. My parents came but then didn't say one word to me and went straight to bed. Thanks mom and dad for Your support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By worst day ever - 23/03/2016 03:01 - United States - Stacy

I was walking alone along the beach when a group of teens pushed me down into the sand. Before I could react, one jumped on my back and handcuffed me. The others held me down as one guy pulled my panties over my head and duct-aped them to my forehead. I was stuck there for hours until a cop helped.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By educated - 23/03/2016 02:56 - United States - Cedar Rapids

I've spent the last eight years dealing with depression and anxiety while trying to get a degree. I am finally down to just having to complete an internship. I went to apply for graduation only to find that I've not only been removed from the program, but that it is no longer being offered. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Krovels - 23/03/2016 02:52 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my friend told me that there was something wrong with my brain because I'm not celebrating Easter, I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By awesome - 23/03/2016 02:50 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my sister cut off our immediate family from her and her kids' lives because we don't like her emotionally and physically abusive wife. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 02:38 - United States

Today, after four years of liking this one guy. I finally got the guts to tell him I like him. After I told him he said "Yeah I knew you liked me. I just thought it was funny because who could like you?" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By JustACashier - 23/03/2016 02:38 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was accused of hating veterans because my work doesn't offer discounts for war veterans, only active duty military. I sat through a ten minute speech of the veteran's life before he called me "unamerican" and left my register in disgust. This has happened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By w0nderwh4t - 23/03/2016 02:33 - United States - Milford

Today, was my moms 50th birthday. We all got her gifts and she got mad at all of us for not getting good gifts. Sorry, "I don't care what you get me," means something entirely different. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LifeOfAPetOwner - 23/03/2016 02:29 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I thought it was super adorable that my dog was staring up at me with her big brown eyes while gently licking my arm. Then I noticed the cat litter stuck in her teeth. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OPGDivinity - 23/03/2016 02:24 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after 2 years of being on my own my mother dropped by and "grounded" me for 2 weeks for having a messy room it wasn't even that messy just clothes lying around, worst part is while I was in the bathroom she took my computer, I take online college and have assignments due, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By lpmancha95 - 23/03/2016 02:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I splurged on some fast food and while a guy watched me sit down I concentrated hard on not making eye contact. He approached me and right as he got uncomfortably close he reached down and grabbed a $20 bill I had stepped over. He didn't even ask if it was mine and walked away with free money. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By PubeBeard - 23/03/2016 02:13 - United States - Vineland

Today, Fresh out of the shower I grabbed a towel out of the closet and began drying off myself as usual. Only this time something was horribly wrong. My face, hair, and chest were completely covered in pubes. Apparently my roommate didn't have time to dispose of his trimmings before his date FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Spacecatsattack - 23/03/2016 02:09 - United States - Marengo

Today, was my Friday, and Im in an hour or so when my supervisor says "we're going to a meeting," I turn to the girl next to me and jokingly said "well I'm getting fucking fired." My boss and I then pass the usual meeting room, and hit the point of no return. I was terminated moments later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 23/03/2016 01:47 - United States - Waterloo

Today, I found out that I was an accident, and that my mother was on the pill when I was conceived. They didn't know she was pregnant until 20 weeks along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By she's a bitch - 23/03/2016 01:46 - United States - Colwich

Today, my teacher said something that upset me, so I told my mom about it. She emailed that teacher, confronting her about it. The next day, that teacher came up to me, yelled at me for telling my mom about what she said, and gave me two days ISS. The principal won't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 113265 - 23/03/2016 01:46 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I found out that my dad is going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life due to 3 collapsed disks in his back. My boyfriend noticed I was upset and asked what was wrong. I told him about my dad and all he said was, "That's cool!!" He doesn't understand why I'm upset with him.FML

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You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 568

You deserved it 29 954

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 661

You deserved it 4 108

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 25 188

Today, my boss showed me how he wants his office redecorating. We have employees on minimum wage and yet he wants a private bathroom, large screen TV, sofa and PlayStation, and a decorative suit of armour, all in an office that’s already bigger than my one bedroom flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 104

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 049

You deserved it 7 103

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 140