Nearly FMLs

By FaceBlocked - 24/03/2016 13:05 - United States - Houston

Today, a girl messaged me on the app "Whisper". Turns out she went to my school. After she asked for a picture of me, I sent one of a pretty good selfie I took of myself. She immediately blocked me. This isn't the first time this happened. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 12:56 - United States - Paterson

Today, I caught my younger 16 year old brother coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. Let's just say, I'm the younger brother now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By alldoctorssuck - 24/03/2016 12:27 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I have my first GYN checkup. My now ex-boyfriend looked up what happens during one, and broke up with me because "I'd be cheating on him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 12:09 - Australia

Today, I handed in my letter of resignation for my full time job so I could work more at my part time job. Just after handing it in, I got a call from my part time job, saying they're closing next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By annabee95 - 24/03/2016 12:03 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend wants to be my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By BroskiMoski - 24/03/2016 12:03 - Canada - Port Alberni

Today, I realized I was so sleep deprived that I get a boner whenever I close my eyes for more than 5 seconds.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SuckyFMLs - 24/03/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter isn't a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By toshimahalaketa - 24/03/2016 11:35 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me on my birthday. Why? because she was mad that I didn't want her talking to someone who tried to get her to cheat on me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LiveForSenpai - 24/03/2016 11:10 - United States - Chatham

Today, I got diarrhea from some undercooked seafood. It was so bad, that if I got up for a single second, something "unpleasant" would happen. It was extremely hot, so I decided to open a window, during which a swarm of flies flew into the bathroom. Most of them were attracted to my underside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By assault and battery - 24/03/2016 10:54 - United States - New York

Today, some random old lady pinched my 5 year old daughter's cheek. It apparently got harder, wounding her, causing her to writhe in pain, pushing the old lady away, causing her to fall on the ground. When she got up, she started to beat me with her purse for "not properly raising my child". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Lunaressence - 24/03/2016 10:53 - United States - Bentonville

Today, I had a really bad stomach flu. My mom brought me to work so she could keep an eye on me. When passing through TSA security, I didn't notice the metal detector going off. One of the TSA agents grabbed me to check me again, and I wound up spewing vomit all over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 10:53 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I found out that my partner has been hooking up with women on craigslist for almost three years. I caught him talking to other girls a few times but I just let it go because I thought It was me, that I should be doing more to satisfy him. I had a baby with him. I'm broken and mind fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By slide - 24/03/2016 09:30 - United States - Eugene

Today, I finally arrived at the hospital after waiting 30 hour for a rescue team in the rain.. face down the mud with a broken hip and vertebrae, after sliding 400 ft down a cliffy chute in mountains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 09:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today I left for the store. When I came back my girlfriend had all of my stuff was in garbage bags. It seems I left my email open and she read an email from my mom saying I needed to choose between both my girlfriends. 2 hours later they both dumped me. I was 4 days from proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By rachgirl6 - 24/03/2016 08:07 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, just as we were leaving for our Easter holiday. My boyfriend decided he wanted to clean his car. I have now been waiting two hours to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 07:56 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, a coworker bumped in me on the stairs and made me drop my laptop. The IT department took it in for a replacement. They searched the HDD as per standard procedure and found porn, some of it self-made. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By WittyMoron - 24/03/2016 07:54 - United Kingdom

Today, after a really rough, tiring day, I hopped in the shower to calm my nerves. When I was finished, I reached for the knob to turn off the water. Unknowingly I turned the wrong one, making the water immensely hot. I have scalded my penis. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By pissedoffdad - 24/03/2016 07:40 - United States - Sunland

Today, I finally put the kids to sleep after 3 hours of lullabies, as soon as I went to bed this asswipe with the loudest car ever revs his car and launches like a thunderbolt down the street setting the alarms off on every car on the street. Now the kids are up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SpawnofAthena - 24/03/2016 07:19 - United States

Today, I came home from my 48 hour shift at work that my heater broke. I live in Alaska. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 07:06 - United States - Houston

A few days ago, I was chilling out with my guy friend, I kind of like him, and it's sort of obvious. Anyway, he said, "I'm like Pac-Man. We both like swallowing balls." Then I figured out he was gay...FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sallysali9 - 24/03/2016 06:47 - United Kingdom - Sutton

Today, I found out that my deodorant is what causes my excessive sweating. This would be nice to know, before I spent most of my money on more deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 06:45 - United States

Today, my mom dropped my sister's off at the mall -- before taking me to the emergency room for a bleeding head wound. I wound up needing 13 stitches.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RocketGirl92 - 24/03/2016 06:36 - United States

Today, my platonic friend whom I've know for many years sent out a SnapChat saying there was no one at the bar to take home. He mentioned how he will have to lower his standards for the night. I got a text from him 2 mins later asking what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 06:27 - United States - Andover

Today I realized my biological clock may be ticking too fast when I came thinking about the condom breaking. My boyfriend and I are under 25 and are still both looking for jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 06:27 - United States - Andover

Today I realized my biological clock may be ticking too fast when I came thinking about the condom breaking. My boyfriend and I are under 25 and are still both looking for jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By idontevenknow - 24/03/2016 06:26 - United States - Golden

Today, I went star gazing with this beautiful girl I have a crush on. I thought it was a date but it turned out being two hours of her cuddling with another guy that showed up.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By headpounding - 24/03/2016 06:11 - United States - Sallisaw

Today, I was soaking in the tub trying to kill a migraine caused by stress and my wisdom teeth cutting. as I got out of the tub I slipped on the tile floor and banged my head against the side of the tub. fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 05:52 - United States - Naples

Today, I realized that whenever I masturbate, my mom would purposely lock herself in the bathroom so I can't wash my hands. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By HylianBadger - 24/03/2016 05:22 - United States - Nashville

Today, I want nothing more than to sever all ties to my birthmother after she purposely tried to ruin my wedding last year and still won't accept responsibility for it. Now that she's recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, there's no way to do so without looking like a total cunt. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sleepygirl - 24/03/2016 05:15 - United States - Marion

Today, I was finishing up a research paper about circadian rhythms and why it can be dangerous to disrupt them. I ended up having to pull an all-nighter to finish it. Oh the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 3 994

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 012

You deserved it 5 742

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 271

You deserved it 3 915

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 384

You deserved it 38 688

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 3 772

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 761

You deserved it 11 222