Nearly FMLs

By badatspanish - 23/03/2016 13:38 - United States

Today, I found out I failed my Spanish class. I had to do 30 hours of assignments, and I did over 10 on my phone. No one told me it doesn't count if you do it on your phone, and I'm not allowed to check how many hours I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SoonToBeScarred - 23/03/2016 13:37 - United States

Today, my mother lost a lot of weight, so she decided to walk around the house naked. She only went from 220 to 210. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By I_Hate_Subs - 23/03/2016 13:36 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, my class had a substitute teacher. As always, we were told to stand up during attendance. But when I didn't stand up, the sub started chewing me out and calling me "disrespectful" and "lazy". Guess he didn't notice my wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Nile_Rathenbone - 23/03/2016 13:15 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my family and I were at a big st.pattys parade. I went for a walk, because I was bored. While I was walking this drunk comes and hits me in the jaw and I was knocked unconscious, next thing I knew I woke up with penises drew on my face and my wallet stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tired mummy - 23/03/2016 12:38 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, Me and my husband just had our first baby, but it turns out my husband vomits uncontrollably whenever he tries to change a nappy. This makes the 4th time he has vomited on the carpet because he didn't reach the toilet in time. Looks like I'm on permanent nappy duty for the next few years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Code_Skull - 23/03/2016 12:35 - Netherlands - Vlissingen

Today, I lost €13500 when my roommate "borrowed" my new car. he went streetracing, crashed, and fled. The police thinks i am responsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Erebos_ - 23/03/2016 12:10 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5 am and got my little brother up about 5:10. He was in the shower until about 6. He gets out and tells me that he already got permission to stay home. News to me. The reason I get up at 5 is so he can take his excessive showers before school. My bus doesn't come until 7. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sickandtired - 23/03/2016 11:50 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I got a really bad cold. I coughed so much I lost my voice. My manager wrote me up because I "did this on purpose". He made me work the drive threw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 11:49 - United States

Today, the normal working hours job I left everything for announced that this week we'll be working 12 hours days, probably 18 hours next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By pmore04 - 23/03/2016 11:18 - Australia - Lawnton

Today, I got a parking fine for parking at the back of my own workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bloody hell - 23/03/2016 11:14 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I was greeted by bloody water all over my shower floor. My roommate refused to clean up her mess after I kindly asked her. "My period is done for the month." Nice one, except the blood soaked pad you left half hanging out of the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bball1129 - 23/03/2016 11:06 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out that a note I wrote last year to a girl that I was desperately trying to get back had been posted all over the Internet with all of these rude comments. It was a really embarrassing note too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By pureNed - 23/03/2016 10:56 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:00 AM to a message from my girlfriend, saying that she is deleting her Facebook and is going out to eat with a guy I don't like. Why? All because I didn't wake up before 5 AM. I work night shift, and it was my night to sleep. I don't know when I will hear from her again today. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Jbon_KitKat - 23/03/2016 10:20 - United States - San Jose

Today, after battling pregnancy insomnia for hours, I decided (at 2:30am) to drive down to 7-11 to buy some ice cream. It was all fun and games until I locked my keys in the car....with my cell phone. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By virgin - 23/03/2016 09:46 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, a girl I met last week took me to court for child support, despite having no evidence to support this claim. I am bone white, she is mixed, and the baby is black. The jury is actually having a tough time without DNA test results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 23/03/2016 09:38 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, i showed my boyfriend off to my family and he brought his little 9yr sister. as he walked into the house, my grandma slapped me and said she was ashamed because she was convinced his 9yr old sister was our daughter. I'm 18.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By noooodonuts - 23/03/2016 08:52 - Australia

Today, on my last long road trip for work, I decided to treat myself and stop at the mobile hot jam donut van an hour from home that I have spent 2 years driving past with rigid self control. Today was the only day in two years the donut van wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 08:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting outside a plasma center with my children while their dad was donating to get 20 bucks. A stranger walked up and starting talking to my 9 year old about how dangerous this world is. She was asked if she knew how much her body parts are worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ihatemyself69 - 23/03/2016 08:22 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was put in dance class to help my depression. The class was divided in different group and had to come up with a dance.The dance was about bullying and being left out and not fitting in. When I tried to share ideas they ignored me and I was being left out of the dance. Ohh the irony.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jeffcarp - 23/03/2016 08:17 - Italy

Today, my crazy jealous wife went mad at me because I was talking to one of my female colleagues, accusing me of having an affair and threatening to divorce me if I ever talk to another girl at my work. I'm the only man in the whole department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Qabhadmus - 23/03/2016 08:10 - Nigeria

Today, makes it a week since my best friend and his wife stopped talking to me. what did I do? I accidentally told her that the only reason he asked her out in the first place was so we could get the password to her house's WiFi. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WittyMoron - 23/03/2016 07:35

Today, at the cafe I work part-time at, an elderly gentleman came into the shop, purchased a coffee, sat down at a table and began furiously wanking. He won't stop, no matter how many times I ask him. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By stickerwontcomeoff - 23/03/2016 07:34 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I found out that you can get a big orange sticker on your car for violating a parking policy once, but the car right next to you can get away with illegally parking in handicap spots for months at a time with no tickets and no stickers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NoSleepingInForMe - 23/03/2016 06:54 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, I woke up early. This is the first time since starting university that I've been able to wake up early naturally. It's the Easter holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lovebooks07 - 23/03/2016 06:52 - Netherlands

Today, it's my birthday. I have two exams to make so I'll be at university all day, and neither my family nor my friends have time to come over. I told this to the guy I like and he was really sweet and said he'd come over so we could have dinner together. He forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By A Fool - 23/03/2016 05:44 - United States - Westerville

Today, my best friend got really depressed because her ex is with someone else, and she asked me for advice. As I tried my best to make her realize she needs to move on and focus on making herself happy, she told me to stop because it was making things worse. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ick - 23/03/2016 05:41 - United States - Haymarket

Today, the only reason I painted my nails was to hide the disturbing amount of dirt underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Abidawe - 23/03/2016 04:47 - United States - Manchester

Today, my car got towed for being parked in a residential zone. You're probably thinking I deserved it but I can prove I didn't: it was on my street and my permit was in the window… the cop was too lazy to read it and now I have to pay to get it out of the impound lot, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By The MaC - 23/03/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I seen a funny post on yik-yak about someone at my college locking all the dorm doors to keep out their room mate, after laughing till I cried I found out it was my room mate, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By makeitstopalready - 23/03/2016 04:28 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today is day two of spring break. I can't enjoy it because my hormones are so out of whack that my depression from years ago has returned for no reason, this time with extremely exhausting mood swings. I'm at home trying to work through it all on my own because I'm too broke for a therapist. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 315

You deserved it 3 699

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 113

You deserved it 38 238

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 356

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 519

You deserved it 3 151

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 812

You deserved it 3 603

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 714

You deserved it 47 492