Nearly FMLs

By yuck - 24/03/2016 23:32 - United States - Lynn

Today, I came home from college, to find that my sister still hasn't cleaned her menstrual blood off the toilet. The same stain has been there for over a month, and she claims it's ok because it's "her bathroom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Brightbulb - 24/03/2016 23:32 - United States - Joplin

Today, I was home with a migraine. I started feeling better so I went to the couch to quietly watch TV. My man child of a roommate sat next to me and started loudly watching videos on Facebook and laughing loudly in my ear. I'm back in bed with an even worse migraine and he is still doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 23:22 - United States - Amherst

Today I ordered a sandwich with no lettuce or tomato and with avocado. I got no avocado, with lettuce and tomato. They charged me for the avocado. I took it to-go before I realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By badhairday - 24/03/2016 23:09 - United States - Pinconning

Today, I got up early to take a shower before work, only to find my water pump was broken. I tried to use dry shampoo, but after one spray it was empty. My hair was so greasy I had to fake sick and call in to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Protein - 24/03/2016 22:55 - United States - Meridian

Today, it is my 9th day of a protein diet. And if you have ever been on one you know you poop a lot. I have popped so much the past 9 days that my landlord called to tell me to stop flushing the toilet so much. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By vail - 24/03/2016 22:49 - United States

Today, my mother noticed I stretched my ears from a 00g to a larger size. She yelled, "You look ugly now! Who's going to find you attractive now?" I have a boyfriend that has the same size stretched ears that I have been dating for awhile and she has met numerous times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ngai - 24/03/2016 22:42 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my best friend of 10 years asked me how to terminate a long term friendship without hurting the other party's feelings. After I told her some points, she proceeded to use those points on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RHChiliPeppers - 24/03/2016 22:34 - United States - Walpole

Today, I finally realized how cold my house actually was when I found myself in the middle of purchasing a thing called "sauna pants". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By killzmillz - 24/03/2016 22:14 - United States

Today, I was on a trip to Florida, it was my last day here and I was trying to make the best of it on the beach. I ended up falling asleep with my phone and headphones on my stomach. Now I have a big square in the middle of my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shartymarti - 24/03/2016 22:05 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today, due to grievously misjudging the threat level of a fart, I was forced to go through an international border checkpoint with a dribble of liquid shit slowly inching down my inner leg. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Sleepy - 24/03/2016 22:02 - United States - Sweetwater

Today, I farted myself awake in the middle of class. The teacher stopped teaching and looked right at me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By EmperorPalpatine - 24/03/2016 22:02 - United States - Houston

Today, after hours of working up the courage, I finally asked my best friend to the school dance. She then proceeded to stand up in her chair and humiliate me in front of the whole cafeteria by calling me a fat ass and then dumping her food all over me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By textfail - 24/03/2016 22:01 - United States - Erie

Today, one of my best friends told me that her cousin has cancer. I texted back telling her that 'I hope she does better with therapy'. Auto-correct changed 'does' to 'dies'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 24/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I found out that my ex girlfriend who I still had feelings for was secretly dating my best friend because they "didn't want to hurt me." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 21:34 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I was lying on my back playing with my dog who was standing over me, he then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes, and threw up all over my face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WhyMe - 24/03/2016 21:03 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today I was meant to take my practical driving test that I booked before christmas. Turned out my examiner didn't turn up to work and I have to wait another four months get it done. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By broke - 24/03/2016 20:35 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I found out that my parents used my college savings to redo the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By __nines - 24/03/2016 20:22 - United States - Bowie

Today, I heard my sister was spending the night. No problem, except for she has a 7 year old, a 4 year old, twin 1 year olds, and she's pregnant. Oh, and they will be spending the night for the next 3 days.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Skyfoogle - 24/03/2016 20:21 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my girlfriend took a selfie during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By papa_vas - 24/03/2016 20:13 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, while being in a two seated truck with my partner for work, I listened to him masterbate over a course of 8 hours. How do I know he was masterbating? I saw his screen on his phone, saw what he was doing, and to top it off he turned the audio on. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oldbag - 24/03/2016 20:11 - United States

Today I was supposed to be spending the last day of my 40s on a European vacation. Then my husband decided he didn't want to "work hard" anymore so he quit his job -- without another job lined up. Instead I'm spending my last day in my 40s doing laundry and looking for a job so we can make rent.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By UnluckyLuckyDuck - 24/03/2016 20:09 - Australia - Pendle Hill

Today, I had to unclog our bathroom basin drain. My husband has been growing his hair long and using bobby pins to hold it in place. After pulling out chunks of slimy dark hair I found a bobby pin blocking the drain. I have blonde hair. He swears it's not his hair and he shouldn't have to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 19:37 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, at work I went to the bathroom only to find out I had no pads. I texted a friend to bring me one, she forgot about me and I sat in the bathroom for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Syd4444 - 24/03/2016 19:34 - United States - Burlington

Today, I was straightening my hair, when my brother barged into the bathroom screaming like a crazy person. I freaked out and the straightening iron I was using burnt my face. He then left the room laughing like an idiot while I took care of the burn. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Laphog - 24/03/2016 19:34 - United States - Annapolis

Today, after months of working out , I lifted my shirt and asked my girlfriend if she noticed the difference. She responded with "no, but as long as YOU notice the difference, that's all that matters right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ishouldlearnnottobenice - 24/03/2016 19:26 - Germany - Wolfenb?ttel

Today, I planned dinner for my whole family in loving detail, fighting my depression and anxiety. They didn't listen to me telling them the recipes and now don't like the food. I checked with them twice. Also, they blame me for my breakdown afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By stormiest - 24/03/2016 19:14 - United States - Redondo Beach

Today, I got the new hockey skates I ordered but not in the way I expected. The box they came in was poorly patched with duct tape and the blades and laces were missing. These were 700$ skates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LashayMarie - 24/03/2016 19:09 - United States - Massillon

Today, I had to get approval from the doctor to resume work. A woman then loudly "whispered" to her child while pointing to me that "that's what your face will look like if you do drugs". I had to explain to her that I was most certainly not on drugs and I just got over the chicken pox.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Yimpish - 24/03/2016 19:05 - United States - Richmond

Today, in appreciation of me still being single, my parents decided to point out every group of girls that walked past, despite how obvious they were about it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DefinitelyNotThe Favorite - 24/03/2016 19:04 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, I got an earful from my mom for upsetting my sister for calling her a "Fake American", while on vacation here. She claims to be born and raised in the U.S and acts like she doesn't understand a word of our mother tongue. She only stayed there for 4 months, until getting deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 314

You deserved it 295

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 133

You deserved it 1 388

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 135

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 123

You deserved it 2 625

Today, I was helping my uncle clean his house. He's a bit of a hoarder, so I suggested donating some of his pots. We got into a fight and I left. He then called my mom to claim that I stole his pots. After being yelled at he realized that they were in his dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 173

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 659

You deserved it 4 086