Nearly FMLs

By TheSaiyanQueen - 25/04/2016 19:25 - United States - Sheffield

Today, when I went to Walmart, I got screamed at by this woman for wearing a dream catcher earring because i was "appropriating the Native American culture". As I explained to her that I am indeed Native American, she scoffed and said I was "too white to be an injun". America everyone.

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 10

By Anon - 25/04/2016 18:53 - United States - Traverse City

Today, I realized that I should have checked my shower for drunken strangers before getting in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 25

By Thatsnotok - 25/04/2016 18:13 - India - Mumbai

Today, I realised that the girl I am going to engaged with ( India, Arranged marriage ) is a lesbian. Ceremony is on the 1st of May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 114

By FuckingBees - 25/04/2016 17:40 - Switzerland

Today, I am so deep in the friendzone, she asked me to buy condoms for her boyfriend for their 'first time'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 158

By feministrology - 25/04/2016 17:16

Today, I found out that my father is a cross-dresser. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 216

By FuckBoi - 25/04/2016 16:55 - United States - Baltimore

Today, as I was texting a girl, she told me she just got out of the shower. Being flirty I asked for pics, she said okay. What did she send me? Pictures of her actual shower and nothing else

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 784

By Anonymous - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States

Today is the first day of my honeymoon after waiting 10 years to get married. Its also the first day of my 2nd period this month...

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 119

By anonymous0192 - 25/04/2016 04:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today my girlfriend's best friend started texting her calling her stupid so on until her made her cry and so I told him to stop being an a**hole and stuff to which she got mad at me saying I should'nt talk to her friend like that. Now she isn't texting me but is texting him complaining about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 124

By HBND - 25/04/2016 04:46 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at the mall. Someone dropped their phone so Ipicked it up before anyone else did and caught up to the guy who dropped. I tapped him and showed him his phone, and before I could say anything he tried to take me down because I was "stealing" his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 25/04/2016 04:14 - United States - Columbus

Today, I reached a whole new level of laziness when I threw my phone at my itchy foot, instead of simply sitting up and scratching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 391

By usedforlove - 25/04/2016 03:59 - United States - Irwin

Today, my now exboyfriend informed me that he had been cheating on me the whole time. I had lovingly supported him through a heroin relapse, unemployment, and homelessness. I encouraged him through rehab and into long distance halfway house. Also, he would be upset to see me with someone else. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 68

By theyweremyfavoritecandy - 25/04/2016 03:41 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, while eating jelly beans, I hiccupped, causing me to inhale one and begin choking. I choked on a jelly bean until I eventually got it unlodged from my throat. Unfortunately, it then got stuck in my nasal cavity. It's been 3 hours and I still can't get it out.

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 78

By Kendall14159 - 24/04/2016 19:42 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was in my backyard with my chickens and I counted 4, when we have 6. I asked my dad where the others were and he said one was in the coop. I checked the coop and one was there. I asked where mine was and he ignored me. It turns out they ate her a month ago and everybody knew but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 41

By killingMyself - 24/04/2016 19:37 - United States - Orlando

Today, my pregnant girlfriend broke up with me cause I said mm ok when she said she was going to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 69

By TowerTennis - 24/04/2016 19:32 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I was playing tennis with my younger bro; he was too slow to hit the ball and in his rage, played doge ball with a tennis ball and racquet. I got hit dead between the eyes, he busted my lip, and shoot one in the groin. I think I know who not to play with anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 38

By ginganinja1997 - 24/04/2016 19:32 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my now ex girlfriend, told me she thought things were moving too fast and wanted to just be friends. that's OK except she still wants to sleep together and do all the things we did as a couple. so nothing changes except she can also sleep with who ever she wants, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 28

By a thoroughly spited friend - 24/04/2016 19:21 - United States - Newport

Today, my college friend of about 8 months went without me to an event she had asked me to go with her to. Why? Because her boyfriend of about a month showed up and went with her instead. She felt no reason to inform me, until after I texted her to ask her when she wanted to go. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 18

By book of Mormon - 24/04/2016 19:18 - United Kingdom - Torquay

Today, I realized how lonely I am whilst writing a birthday card to myself. It even had money in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 30

By bestfriendornah - 24/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Azusa

Today, I was supposed to hang out with my best friend. Good thing I have homework and stuff to do because he was a no show and instead went to Disneyland with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 15

By FalloutScrolls - 24/04/2016 19:14 - United States - West Bend

Today, I came home from the store with a nice pair of really expensive headphones. Today, a bit later, my wife came home to my surprise with a cat. Today, that cat chewed through the cord of my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 17

By sleepextinguished - 24/04/2016 19:05 - United States - Ada

Today, a drunk decided it would be fun to spray a fire extinguisher down the stairs of the dorms. The fire alarm went off from the fumes and everyone had to stand outside for 2+ hours in 40° temperatures at 3am since the "security guards" couldn't figure out how to turn off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 24

By ScarfyPotato - 24/04/2016 19:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was finishing working on my pc and it's program features. Once I had finished, my friend sent me a file, telling me it was a mod for a game of mine. It was. It modded my game to crash every 5 min, all with a laughing flower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 15

By really? - 24/04/2016 18:39 - United States - Rosemead

Today, I discovered my suspicions of my girlfriend being a gold digger are true. She broke up with me the day after my convertible broke. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 16

By Badwife - 24/04/2016 18:30 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband propositioned me for sex. When I told him I was too drunk, he replied, "being married sucks." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 21

By ClumsyGrad - 24/04/2016 18:23 - United States - Portland

Today, I had my graduation ceremony. As a distinguished grad, I was called on stage 12/650 people. I fell down the stairs in front of the entire stadium of guests, and all of the other attendants. No one helped me up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 17

By love2laugh83 - 24/04/2016 18:06 - Canada - Jordan

Today, I went to buy groceries,i got to the till with a cart full of groceries and my card was declined I was sure there was money in my account. so I went to get a bank statement only to find out my 6 year old went on a shopping spree with games to the tune of about 300.00 fml

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 18:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I met the perfect girl. She is seemingly perfect in every manner. I just learned that she is not seeking neither companionship nor friendship because she will be going to college soon, across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 12

By Anon - 24/04/2016 18:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got my phone bill and realised its not in my head that my husband doesnt make an effort to keep in contact with me, 4 calls to me in 30 days. He worked away 21 of them while I was at home working and looking after his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 17:47 - Sweden - Huddinge

Today, I was having tea with my boyfriend and his friends. I choked and coughed so hard that I farted. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 17:35 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I came home from work to find that my pet cat had completely shredded the curtains that my late grandmother gave me four months before her passing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 12

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 455

You deserved it 7 431

Today, I went to the home of a guy I was talking to on Tinder to hook up. His wife answered the door and invited me in. She wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 525

You deserved it 2 944

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 692

You deserved it 828

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 666

You deserved it 4 760

Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 1 667

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 039

You deserved it 4 856