Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:07

Today it's my anniversary, not only was I diagnosed with a UTI and a yeast infection but my period started, a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 9

By anonymous - 24/04/2016 11:54 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, It is my birthday I woke up to my dog vomiting in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 8

By superdude191 - 24/04/2016 11:44 - Kuwait

Today, I had to sleep in the same bed as my parents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed my parentd have sex in next to me for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 11:11 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I woke up from a dream about working alongside with a coworker of mine. Even my brain says I need a vacation, but I'm not allowed to take any more due to wasting them all on health issues. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 11

By Fuck somewhere else, please? - 24/04/2016 10:40 - United States - Potsdam

Today, I had to talk to my roommate about how inappropriate it is for her to have sex while I'm in the room after waking up yet again to her ridiculous moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 8

By anonymous - 24/04/2016 10:36 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister. He promptly broke up with me on the spot and asked my sister out. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 10:09 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, I got grounded for two weeks. Why? My parents apparently checked my history and found that I watched, "Mother and Son" porn. I saw the history date and it was four days before I got my phone handed down to me from my older brother. Thanks douche-bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 6

By IDK - 24/04/2016 10:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she can come with me to an exhibition I have been asked to do in Hong Kong. Right now I am checked into a drug trial clinic in order to afford the travel expenses. My girlfriend informs me that she went and slept with three different men for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 7

By NaziJew - 24/04/2016 09:59 - United States - Brockton

Today, I finally got invited to my boyfriends apartment. The first thing I notice is the Nazi flag on hia bedroom door. I'm jewish

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 10

By tiredhusband - 24/04/2016 09:54 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I figured out why my wife and I are unable to maintain family friends past a couple of months. My wife firmly believes that listening to her means blind obedience, and for those that don't do as said are disrespecting ger and our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 9

By rockit - 24/04/2016 09:18 - United States - West Bend

Today, after i made a really awesome dinner for my girlfriend to celebrate her new job she came home drunk and with some dude asking me if i got her text after saying no she said she wants to break up cuz i am now beneath her considering her new found job and money.

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 8

By blupariah - 24/04/2016 09:00 - United States - Delhi

Today, I was so excited that I walked 10 miles, thinking I'll keep it up to lose some weight. Turns out I pulled something in my knee. So not only can I not walk , but I have to wait another full day until I can go to the doctor for it because it's Sunday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 6

By rhiannakirwan - 24/04/2016 08:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I broke my arm and leg and have to have a cast on both for 4 weeks. I go on holiday tomorrow, and it's my wedding in 2 weeks. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 7

By blueberrybagle - 24/04/2016 08:44 - United States - Marion

Today, I learned after twenty years of being a homemaker that I'm not qualified to make sub sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 8

By Annonymous - 24/04/2016 08:37 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, i found out that my boyfriend had slept with my best friend. Not only did they keep it away from me for months, he's now found out he caught an STD from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 6

By musicman_amit - 24/04/2016 08:31 - India - Secunderabad

Today, I took a break & rushed to a bathroom stall where I heard from the other stall some noises followed by weed smell. I finished shitting asap, came outta the bathroom where my boss was waiting out to fire "the smoker" (apparently me) right outside the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 6

By kelseythompson - 24/04/2016 08:09 - United States - Rochester

Today, I found a gray pube in my mouth. I'm 20 and I have no gray hair. But I do live with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 9

By Laney - 24/04/2016 07:25 - United States - Park City

Today my ex-boyfriend called me after leaving me while I was pregnant for his ex-girlfriend. He called to ask for money, why? Because his girlfriend needs to pay a few bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 8

By thenetflox - 24/04/2016 06:47 - Canada - Head Of Chezzetcook

Today, I found out my fiancé hooked up with some girl at a bar last weekend. Distressed, I called my sister and told her he cheated and she apologized repeatedly saying that she never wanted me to find out this way. The worst part? She wasn't even the girl from the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 8

By I could of order a pizza and it would of came quicker - 24/04/2016 06:28 - United States

Today, someone broke into my house and I called the cops to come and catch the individual. They took nearly two and a half hours. The guy was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 5

By yep - 24/04/2016 06:26 - United States - Esmont

Today, I discovered that the person stealing my credit card information is my mother. I discovered this after receiving a phone call from my brother. He discovered the same thing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 6

By JustWantedToSleep - 24/04/2016 06:13 - United States - Provo

Today, I spent all day packing for an internship after finishing finals. Completely exhausted I went to bed. Normally a quiet apartment complex, my downstairs neighbors decided to have extremely loud sex for half an hour, at midnight until it ended in loud screaming. So much for a quiet night... FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 5

By DatBlueDerp - 24/04/2016 05:53 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I went to an amusement park, I got on a roller coaster but had forgotten to take my glasses off first, on the third loop my glasses fell off of my head and off the ride. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 05:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to a work party with my husband. I noticed his coworker's wives were all 5'5, 100lbs, and blonde (I am none of those things.) I stated that I was surrounded by beautiful trophy wives, and he replied, "Yep, I opted for one with brains instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 9

By anon - 24/04/2016 05:40 - Australia - Thornbury

Today, my blonde-haired boyfriend found a black hair in my room. It was my dogs yet he refused to believe me. Hello single life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 5

By TheSneakyNugget - 24/04/2016 05:24 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I witnessed a large, sweaty woman stick a hair brush under her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 5

By seriously - 24/04/2016 05:16 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my parents got my boyfriend and I a new couch for our apartment. Since we had to get rid of the old one, they threw it off the balcony...only to hit a car on its way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 12

By Seriously?! - 24/04/2016 05:16 - United States - Portland

Today, I had a wet dream about a chocolate muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 7

By reghan - 24/04/2016 05:05 - United States - Carlisle

Today, it's 1 AM and everyone in my house is asleep. I would be too, if the toilet didn't keep flushing by itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 6

By TooSadToSleep - 24/04/2016 05:05 - United States - Canby

Today, my I overheard my mother tell my dad that she wants the cats gone by the time she gets back from her business trip. In a house of five, I am the sole caretaker and owner of three adorable cats. I am also the only one protesting her because everyone else is too spineless to stop her, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 6

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 710

You deserved it 25 538

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 568

You deserved it 11 305

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 532

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 740

You deserved it 6 572

Today, I mistook my boss’s "Have a good weekend!" for "How’s your weekend?" So I replied, "Great so far!" It’s Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 252

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 207

You deserved it 50 197