Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:37 - United States - Jasper

Today, I found out that six hours of my work didn't save and has disappeared from my laptop, so now I get to stay up all night and rewrite it...FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 4

By ugh - 24/04/2016 00:36 - Canada - Rodney

Today, I found out that I will be working with the love of my life's ex girlfriend. The same one he dated and lied to me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 4

By gamewizard - 24/04/2016 00:35 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a $200 projector I've been saving months for. When I opened the package and it wasn't in there. Turns out someone stole it and the thing is not refundable. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 3

By Garrus's Calibrations - 24/04/2016 00:34 - United States - Boise

Today, I was at the store buying some groceries. As I was checking out, I grabbed my 12 pack of soda and accidentally threw it and it exploded everywhere. As I was profusely apologizing, this super hot girl from my class who worked there, had to help me clean it up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:21 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while working as a CIT at a camp during my spring break, a five year old kid needed a counsellor to take him to the bathroom. What I didn't know was he didn't know how to wipe his own butt. When I tried to teach him how, he wiped it onto his back. I had to wipe it all the shit on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:07 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 6

By o noes - 24/04/2016 00:00 - United States - Alto

Today, I decided on asking the girl I've liked for 4 years on a date. Later, before I even had a chance to do it, my friend had informed me that our other friend got a date. I was glad for him, until I found out who he had asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 23:49 - United States - Poway

Today, I realized I get more turned on by reading the new book I got than by my boyfriend kissing my neck. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 7

By cutegrl14 - 23/04/2016 23:44 - United States

Today, In the middle of the night I was up writing my midterm paper for school and as I'm typing there is a massive power outage in my county.....and my paper did not save.....I cried. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 4

By mikaylamarieloe - 23/04/2016 23:42 - United States

Today, I went and saw my mom. She showed me her new pants and I said they made her look fat. Not because she was fat, but because of the fact that she couldn't even zip and button them. She asked me to leave and now she won't talk to me. My wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 23:40 - United States - Hamilton

Today, I got into my first car accident on my way to school. I saw some of my friends pull over and I thought they were coming to make sure I was okay. They weren't. Instead they took photos, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 3

By whatiswrongwithmymom - 23/04/2016 23:32 - United States - Winnetka

Today, my best friend can say “I fucked your mom” and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 4

By vfoxx - 23/04/2016 23:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking home and saw a large, majestic hawk take to the sky. Apparently, my red hat, ponytail, and green jacket looked like a squirrel in a short tree. I got forty stitches from its talons on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 3

By she's faking it. - 23/04/2016 23:12 - United States - Charleston

Today, it's my parents anniversary. They celebrated by having loud sex for three hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 3

By oops - 23/04/2016 22:41 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, I learned that I have been friend zoning girls that I liked accidentally for years. I guess anxiety is a bit of an issue for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 5

By cassiet - 23/04/2016 22:23 - United States - Tell City

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. His excuse was he hated the distance between us. The 30 minute distance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 4

By windyouthere - 23/04/2016 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally changed my oil without anyone's help and was really proud of myself. Later I was driving and my car starting making a weird clanking noise so I pulled over and noticed that my oil filter fell off, and all my oil leaked out.. I had to wait hours for my mom to come and help me..FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 6

By HSAF - 23/04/2016 21:26 - United States - Saint Louis

Today my sister had her Boyfriend over to her house for the first time. I decided to be a good sport and go in for a fist bump. He apparently didn't see me, and walked straight into my fist. So now my whole family wont talk to me because I 'punched' my sister's BF in the gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 2

By HelpMe - 23/04/2016 21:14

Today, after boarding a plane I noticed that the copilot was completely hammered when he stumbled to get out of his seat and out of the cockpit. We're flying over the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 3

By Torito_Dorito - 23/04/2016 21:02 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was sitting on my couch as I overheard my sister and her boyfriend going at it. A few moments later they came out of her bedroom and to avoid an awkward conversation I had to pretend I was asleep on my couch, for hours, until they left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 4

By joanikens - 23/04/2016 20:58 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after five years of meticulously saving money, I finally bought my dream car. Not 6 hours I was rear ended by a drunk driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 20:55 - India - Kolkata

Today, while brushing my teeth in the shower, I attempted to throw the toothbrush back into the holder only for it to bounce off it and land in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 7

By didntwantotoseethat - 23/04/2016 20:52 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I realised I've been away from home too long when I came back to find my sister sitting on the toilet with the door wide open and my mother standing in the doorway talking to her with no trousers on. Neither of them understood what my issue was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 4

By blueyes909 - 23/04/2016 20:16 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I got a text from my ex boyfriend who said he was sorry and wanted to make it up to me for being such a jerk. When I asked how, he said, "Let's fuck." I don't think his penis counts as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 3

By Riceball__o3o - 23/04/2016 19:52 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my boyfriend told me he had feelings for a friend and even though he doesn't want to pursue a relationship out of respect for her boyfriend, he still wants to break up with me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 3

By SomeGuy - 23/04/2016 19:50 - United States - Marion

Today, I discovered I have feelings for a girl I've been extremely good friends with for a while now. I also discovered she wants my input on how to give her boyfriend head for his birthday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 2

By CamelPumpkin - 23/04/2016 19:47 - United States - Kalona

Today, I learned I will be retaking my math class because I have a B, B-, and an A-. The other kids, with Ds and C minuses are going on to calculus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 2

By aloneandhorny - 23/04/2016 19:37 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I woke up after having a night full of amazing sex dreams. Unfortunately, they were all about my vibrator. I'm so alone, I can't even imagine real intimacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 2

By applebutter - 23/04/2016 19:08 - United States - Hackensack

Today, as an assignment, my students brought in autobiographies. Three of them brought "Mein Kampf." One of them brought it in German. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 3

By bubblesalex69 - 23/04/2016 19:02 - United States - Bellingham

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate and my brother walks in. Later he says it looks like I had balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 3

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 2 065

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 483

You deserved it 6 104

Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 007

You deserved it 2 158

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 086

You deserved it 51 342

Today, I booked my holiday flights. There's 700 miles between the small country I live in and the family I'm visiting, normally one 3-hour flight. Thanks to hurricanes Irma and Maria, the only available route traverses 1700 miles and will take 26 continuous hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 431

You deserved it 322

Today, after years of miscarriages and desperately wanting a child, I lost my temper and screamed at my sister after she announced she'd had an abortion last month. Now no one in the family will speak to me, since I referred to her adopted kids as, "Not really her children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 1 877