Nearly FMLs

By TheSue - 26/04/2016 05:11 - Canada - Milton

Today after finally letting the guy that I've been seeing go down on me, he comes up and looks me dead in the eye and says, 'hey so.. you just got your period.. in my mouth..' FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 11

By bcl87 - 26/04/2016 05:06 - United States - York

Today, I learned that the man I spent 10 years with and have been married to for 7, has cheated on me with 20+ women. He led me to believe that I took his virginity, when in reality he lost it to someone else a month into our relationship. We have 2 kids together.

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 4

By bcl87 - 26/04/2016 05:06 - United States - York

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 5

By never leave your child - 26/04/2016 05:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 3.5 year old son set fire to my mums house. when he spoke to me he said its ok mummy, it wasn't your house. i did it because i wanted to be with you at the drs. this was 3 days after he got into a fight at daycare as he wanted to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 5

By big fat liar - 26/04/2016 05:02 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was okay with not getting engaged or married before I picked up my entire life and moved to another state, where I know absolutely no one. I only told him this because I'm tired of his excuses for him not being able too. I've never told a bigger lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 13

By Bathroom Queen - 26/04/2016 04:57 - United States - San Diego

Today, I figured out how the medicine my doctor prescribed for my high blood pressure helps with weight loss ...liquid shit. Here's to a night spent with the porcelain goddess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 8

By happypenguins - 26/04/2016 04:57 - Canada

Today, after spending more time than it was worth trying to get my dog to come down stairs with me, he finally, happily went down the stairs and ran into my sisters room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

By Mac_man314 - 26/04/2016 04:53 - United States

Today, I am so far in the friendzone I realized I was giving advice to the girl of my dreams on how to read my best friend and tell if he likes her or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 6

By Herpicus_McDerpi - 26/04/2016 04:42 - United States - Mobile

Today, I'm so forever alone that even my cat doesn't like me anymore. He's only stuck around to eat my turkey sandwiches and sleep on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 4

By no family time for you - 26/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I told my mom about my recent tubal ligation. Instead of the verbal beatdown I expected over the fact that she'll never have grandkids, she sighed and said she wished she'd gotten one 33 years ago. I'm 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

By WhenLifeHits - 26/04/2016 04:32 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my girl broke up with me because I hug her too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 7

By anon - 26/04/2016 04:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend was killed in a motorcycle accident, my boyfriend broke his foot, and I flunked a project I've been working on for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 4

By jinx GaM1nG - 26/04/2016 04:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today,I went biking ,being arrogant thinking i can ride it right after 4 years of not riding one. I slipped, fractured my knee and stayed in the hospital all day....FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 8

By tigercat7 - 26/04/2016 04:22 - Canada - Halifax

Today I had loud, uncontrollable (and impossible to hide) hiccups for 18 hours straight. If that wasn't bad enough, when I got checked out, I discovered the pain I've been having with it is probably appendicitis... FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 4

By No No No x1,000 - 26/04/2016 04:21 - United States - Toledo

Today, after freshly spraying my home with the new insecticide, I proudly went to put on my shoes to go for a walk, knowing I now wouldn't need to deal with creepy crawlies at home. Guess what was hidden in my shoe? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 7

By JefferyLillie - 26/04/2016 04:20 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got called lazy by my boss and written up because I was sitting down after clocking out after a 16 hour shift. Yet her son who only works 3 times a week and sits and talks his entire shift is the " hardest worker she has " I need a new job. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 4

By Spongegirlcs - 26/04/2016 04:16 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, after spending $400 to repair a broken display on my laptop, my son accidentally spilled an entire glass of water on it trying to point something out on the screen. I'd only gotten it back a few hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 10

By Colby - 26/04/2016 04:07 - United States - Lutz

Today, I went to the park for the first time in about a year. I decided to take a nap on my towel neatly placed in the grass. I got a rude awakening. Let's just say, I found out what a ducks' bodily waste tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 4

By anonymous - 26/04/2016 04:04 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I brought my girlfriend of two years out clubbing with my teammates. I was informed she made out with my future roommate next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 7

By Saddened - 26/04/2016 03:40 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is a meth addict. Something she told me she never did. How did I find out? She told me when she had an urge but couldn't get any because her car got stolen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 5

By oiler - 26/04/2016 03:36 - United States - Miami

Today, My parents decided i should have a baby sitter; usually i will comply besides the fact that im older than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 11

By stinkyfinger - 26/04/2016 03:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was wiping my ass and my finger slipped through the toilet paper... guess that's what I get for buying one ply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 13

By Cinis - 26/04/2016 03:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé says to me, "you know why you have beefy legs? Because you're a cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 5

By mkymouse90 - 26/04/2016 03:21 - United States - Ozark

Today, I was going to the happiest place on earth! We stopped at a rest stop on the way as I went to the bathroom my keys fell in the toilet then automatically flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 5

By Desiree_lianne - 26/04/2016 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out my long-term boyfriend doesn't shampoo his hair when he showers. He thinks conditioner is enough, he's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 4

By Xeronix - 26/04/2016 03:07 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend's parents told me that they accept me and that I can marry their daughter, only to find out ten minutes later that they think I'm going to hurt her and they talk shit about me behind my back 24/7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 5

By Mom - 26/04/2016 03:05 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, was my sons very first time going to the zoo, his first memory of this will be the llama spitting in his face. He's forever scared of the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 3

By kittens_lynn - 26/04/2016 03:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being almost a week of getting my third tattoo (on my stomach) i showed my ex and he goes "that's fake I don't believe you" and slapped it so hard that i puked all over his new 150$ Jordan shoes. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 6

By Zmanzem4 - 26/04/2016 02:59 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I was hungry for a snack so I got a Fiber One bar. I was still hungry so I ate another one. I then ate another Fiber One bar to fill me up. Needless to say I've been on the toilet for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 02:51 - United States - Friendship

Today, after eating a fancy dinner I went to prom and my stomach started acting up. I am currently texting you from the toilet while I can hear the DJ and all my friends singing along.

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 72 944

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 3 199

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 615

You deserved it 7 579

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 189

You deserved it 4 407

Today, I found an eviction notice at the apartment my boyfriend and I share. I always give him my share of the rent, and he pays it. Or so I thought. He’s been using our rent money to shower his side chick with gifts and expensive dinners. The worst part? The girl is my 18 year-old sister. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 156

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 2 801