Nearly FMLs

By jimmy neutron - 15/07/2016 23:50 - United States - Filer

Today, I "was in the bathroom" ( wink wink ). My mother walked in as soon as I was done. She then approached me later asking what I was doing. She said that it smelled like I was doing drugs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 27

By QueenAwkwardIV - 15/07/2016 23:43

Today, the highest point of the week was when I got overly amused about seeing a dick-shaped cloud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 26

By sophie0908 - 15/07/2016 23:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at a horse show when he asked me what classes I was competing in. I tried to say hunters and jumpers but what came out instead was humpers. He walked away after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 42

By ImKimitheEmo - 15/07/2016 22:41 - United States - Charles Town

Today while changing my tampon my 5year-old sister walks in she now refuses to talk to me because she doesn't want "bloody vagina disease" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 23

By whitepants - 15/07/2016 22:35 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today when I was watching tv with my crush, in his house, I got my period. I had white pants and there was a big bloodstain on his new, beige couch. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 36

By benjamin03 - 15/07/2016 22:27 - United States - Narberth

Today, I began packing for my trip. For weeks my mom has told me I would need more gym shorts, but I kept saying I didn't. Guess what I don't have enough of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 116

By Anon - 15/07/2016 22:04

Today, I went on a first date for the first time in forever. It ended with her screaming at me when she found out I was on Team Valor for Pokemon Go. Apparently that makes me a stupid brute and invited her to preach about why Mystic is the superior. So much for a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 25

By Chilupa - 15/07/2016 22:03 - Canada - Duncan

Today, a coworker accidentally threw a box on top of a wedding cake that I was just about to deliver. Three of the tiers had giant slashes in the fondant. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 20

By Aaaaa - 15/07/2016 22:02

Today a man thought my dad was my boyfriend. My dad is 56. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 25

By isaac - 15/07/2016 21:56

Today, I bought a Butterfinger from a vending machine, and it got stuck, so I bought another one, and then that one got stuck. The first one dropped, but when I opened it, it was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 23

By megroamstheworld - 15/07/2016 21:51 - United States - Orange

Today, I tried making a grilled cheese for the first time and within 3 seconds of having it on the plate I dropped it. Breaking the plate. And losing food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 39

By Feeling used - 15/07/2016 21:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend of a few months broke up with me saying that he has been meaning to for about a month. This would have been nice to know before having sex with him, for the first time in our relationship, just a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 19

By brcolbert - 15/07/2016 21:44 - United States - Mokane

Today, my dad passed away in a tragic accident. 3 hours later, even after my work knew, my coworker called me to ask if I would take her shift. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 21:42

Today, while driving home with my wife there was a lightning strike and I joked and said "there goes our house" when we arrived our roof was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 18

By parrchristianna - 15/07/2016 21:08

Today, my four year old decided to poop on herself, play in it, toe paint (instead of finger painting). She was literally covered head to toe in poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 14

By Sad - 15/07/2016 20:45 - United States - Orlando

Today, I discovered I developed an allergy to my favorite food, my lips are numb and blistered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 14

By Nathanator27 - 15/07/2016 20:39 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I got written up for slacking off. What did I do? I was on my way back from my lunch break which ends at 1:15. It was 1:16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 26

By send help - 15/07/2016 20:33 - United States - Laurel

Today, in the middle of July, I woke up with the mother of all colds. It's also the same day I have to drive with my dad for seven hours back home. I can barely sit up from my headache, and he can barely stand with how drunk he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 18

By fuckkarma - 15/07/2016 20:08 - Norway

Today, i moved 200 miles away from my dream place, and in with my boyfriend. I also found out that because of his work I might be so lucky to see him every 3 week for a few days before go goes on another trip. I have no friends here, and I saw him more often when we lived 200 miles apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 48

By AnnoyedTeen - 15/07/2016 16:04 - United States - Owings Mills

Today, my parents keep on telling me I'm being lazy, and not doing anything productive. So, I decided to apply for a work permit (I'm fifteen). When my dad found out, he started yelling at me, saying no-one would hire me, that it's stupid, etc. That's what I get for trying to be productive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 66

By serenity_rose - 15/07/2016 16:04 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, at the doctor office I had to give a urine sample. After five minutes on the toilet with no luck peeing, I decided to try squatting and it worked. I peed all over my hand, the floor and the outside of the sample bottle. I did not manage to pee in the sample bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 44

By Rodgerdodger17 - 15/07/2016 15:51 - United States - Brevard

Today, I brought Popsicles to our crosscountry team. My crush (who also runs crosscountry) told me "You are the reason I run... not because of you, but because of the popsicles you bring."

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 46

By ohgeethanks - 15/07/2016 15:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after months of careful skin care, my acne had cleared enough that I felt confident going to school without makeup. My mom asked if I would consider starting Accutane. Thanks for noticing, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 27

By thatgirlk - 15/07/2016 15:47 - United States - Fredericktown

Today, due to a series of unfortunate events, I get to take my father to his vasectomy appointment. I am his 20 year old daughter. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 30

By Matt - 15/07/2016 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work to find every other member of staff playing Pokémon GO instead of serving customers. I work in the tech department of a supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 27

By pizzaisbae - 15/07/2016 15:32 - Croatia - Varazdin

Today, I found out that my ex is getting married. The night before he asked me if I still loved him and I said no, although I do. I guess I should've told him.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 94

By Pokemon No - 15/07/2016 15:07

Today, my friends tricked me into running out into the cold rain to catch a rare Pokemon in Pokemon Go. I didn't open the app until I was outside, and by the time I realized it was a trick, my friends sped off in their truck without me. Now I have to walk about five miles home in freezing rain, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 61

By blowing chunks - 15/07/2016 14:55 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I gave my boyfriend head for the first time. He came in my mouth without warning, causing me to vomit on his dick. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 53

By mel - 15/07/2016 14:52 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I heard a new acquaintance ask a mutual friend if there was something 'wrong' with me because I was so nice and it freaked her out.FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 21

By _schaden_freude - 15/07/2016 14:13 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, I offered to give a friend a lift home after a night out so she could drink. She got wasted. I took her to McDonald's to sober up and she threw up everywhere and passed out. We were promptly asked to leave. She coated herself, me and my car in sick and doesn't remember a thing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 15

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out my father's girlfriend is moving in with us. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 848

You deserved it 968

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 663

You deserved it 6 567

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 6 311

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 3 271

Today, I got my hair dyed at a fancy salon. While the stylist was pulling out the foils in my hair I sat up and started screaming in pain because the hot foils were burning my scalp. All she said was "oh, you're fine". I went back home to find an oozing burn wound on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 047

You deserved it 4 328

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 322

You deserved it 9 562