Nearly FMLs

By Whereareallthenicegeekyguys - 14/07/2016 05:20 - United States - Richmond

Today, after nearly 21 years, I found a guy who is adorable, super sweet, has amazing blue eyes, is just as geeky as I am, is very intelligent, isn't afraid to ask a girl to dance, and likes me! He's my cousin's new 8 year old nephew who I met at the wedding. Well, at least we had fun dancing! FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 16

By lesbianpokéchamp - 14/07/2016 05:19 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years started a fight with me because I'm team Mystic and she joined team Valor. This was our first major fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 17

By grosshopper - 14/07/2016 05:14 - Australia - Wilston

Today, thanks to the close proximity of my bedroom and my neighbours bathroom, I was awoken by the sound of my elderly neighbour coughing and hacking up phlegm and spiting it into his sink. It lasted several minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 9

By HeyPeople13 - 14/07/2016 05:08 - United States - Alhambra

Today, I just turned 18. I thought it was a good idea to invite at least 20 friends over to have a party and they all said they'd come. Happy, I waited. Waited for hours and no one showed up. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 14

By hie_its_me - 14/07/2016 05:01

Today, i have to go to the doctor to check out my dick because last night i heard it snap when my girl went all tarzen on me.Its got such a bruise on it.FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 19

By Mr_Cellophane99 - 14/07/2016 04:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex for the first time in forever. Well when me and my hook up we're going at it, his cat decided to jump from his futon to his bed, he landed on my face with his claws out. I was bleeding and my hookup kept going... FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 9

By trblmkr0727 - 14/07/2016 04:54 - Canada - Swan River

Today, I found out that my grandpa had a small amount of cancer and an uncle of mine passed away. No one told me and when I asked why I was told because I don't message family enough. I message, call and text but I never get a response back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 10

By sadlife - 14/07/2016 04:49 - Australia - Kenthurst

Today, I met a man who was everything I have dreamt of, I also met his wife FML.

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 19

By anonymous - 14/07/2016 04:45 - United States - New Braunfels

Today, a day before I take my drivers test, I decide to practice a little parallel parking one last time. Today is also the day that the car decides to break down. Turns out the battery might be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 14

By daniel - 14/07/2016 04:39 - United States - Richmond

Today, My college got retinal scanners for the cafeteria and on a unrelated note announced that our tuition is massively going up

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 12

By Nowam1_1 - 14/07/2016 04:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I walked into my university's library, hoping to find a book to help with my project. I took it up to the counter. The 60 year old librarian asked me for my number, so I replied, "I already have a girlfriend". She meant my library card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 28

By umm - 14/07/2016 04:27 - United States

Today, I walked in on my twelve year old brother masturbating on the couch. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 14/07/2016 04:23

Today, the man of my dreams told me we couldn't date anymore. We dated for 7 months, but his ex girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant with his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 11

By Salamangkiro - 14/07/2016 04:16 - United States - Helena

Today, the advantages and disadvantages having thin walls staying at a hotel. Advantage-listen to entertaining stories in the hallway. Disadvantage - hearing a baby cry next door from me 30+ in a room by himself while the mom went to the lobby to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 13

By kmancooke - 14/07/2016 04:15

Today, I finally convinced a girl to talk to me, and all she said was "what do you want" and "bye" FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 10

By phimatt - 14/07/2016 04:15 - United States - Norristown

Today, I was playing on my VR headset I just got. I was swinging my arm when my hand and controller hit my fan and shattered a light bulb. Glass went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 12

By TheSulkingDead - 14/07/2016 04:10 - United States - Akron

Today, I was escorted from the break room at the job I work at, because they think I'm a 13 year old sneaking into the back. I'm 23.

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 13

By WorkBitch - 14/07/2016 03:04

Today, was my only day off for the next 2 months. My boyfriend made plans with me so I declined an invitation to go out with friends. My boyfriend is now passed out on the couch and I'm drinking alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 37

By catherine638 - 14/07/2016 02:43 - United States - Cumming

Today, I found my fiancé screwing my twin sister. His excuse was that "he didn't realize it wasn't me."FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 39

By Becca34 - 14/07/2016 01:42 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I accidentally let out a small fart in front of my boyfriend. Now, he won't stop ripping huge ones, trying to one up me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 64

By The customer is never right - 13/07/2016 23:56

Today I had to explain to a woman how to send a letter to my office as in tell her she had to put the letter in an envelope and write the address on it. She was going to just put a letter in the mail box and expect us to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 37

By shrek1000 - 13/07/2016 23:36 - United States - Aurora

Today, I was jamming to Marilyn Manson at a red light, I got really into it and started drumming on my wheel and singing. The cop next to me thought I was having a seizure he came to my car to make sure I was ok. While explaining I was fine the next song started, it was n.w.a fuck the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 85

By AnalBeads4U - 13/07/2016 22:26 - United States - Hammond

Today, I got to work to find out I won't be getting paid for three hours from a previous day. Why? The new guy made a mistake on the time sheet. Being that he's new, he is being given the benefit of the doubt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 23

By LaurenSmith - 13/07/2016 22:10 - Canada - Mitchell

Today, I was getting a ticket for speeding, but the officer messed up and gave me the wrong ticket the fine was more than speeding, when I told him we ended up in a cuss war and when I went to my boyfriends parents that night I realized the officer was my boyfriends dad, it was awkward at dinner FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 44

By DevonIsAwesome - 13/07/2016 21:58

Today, while on vacation I got call from home saying my car is going to be totalled. Turns out a lady fell asleep at the wheel and hit it going 40 miles an hour. I just bought the car last week.

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 24

By mirakatt - 13/07/2016 21:18 - United States - Portland

Today, our neighbor said he is seeking legal action against us because we got the two bedroom apartment and he didn't. His reason is "they don't deserve it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 20

By Dave - 13/07/2016 20:30 - United States - Frisco

Today, my girlfriend won't talk to me because I won't have sex with her. Why? She just got diagnosed with STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 33

By xoxoblondee - 13/07/2016 19:28

Today, while at my job at Macy's, an old man slapped my butt when I bent over. When I told my manager, I was promptly fired for enticing him and getting him in trouble with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 20

By giraffe248 - 13/07/2016 18:12 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was walking downtown with my dad at an art fair when a guy came up to us, trying to sell something, and said "you two look like cool parents" I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 19

By Elmoo - 13/07/2016 16:52

Today, it has been so long since I was intimate with anyone that I got turned on by looking at my own boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 116

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend crashed our car into the car ahead. He was trying to pull away from the traffic lights faster than the person next to us, a ten-year-old kid on a bicycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 699

You deserved it 1 601

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 629

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 321

You deserved it 33 991

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 460

You deserved it 3 154

Today, my boyfriend has severe dog phobia, and a dog off its lead ran up to him in a car park. He panicked and tried to jump into the car, but the door hit it in the head and it started fitting and seizing. About three people called the police and the dog's owner broke our car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 281

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 480

You deserved it 3 805