Nearly FMLs

By Super88 - 19/07/2016 23:18 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to take my bike into the shop, after the seat got stolen the previous day. When I arrived at my locked bike I found that the front tire was gone as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 32

By GiftFromAuntFlo - 19/07/2016 21:34 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, it's my birthday so I decided to bring some friends to the beach. My period started. I'm wearing a white bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 69

By ouch - 19/07/2016 20:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother about the prospect of us getting a dog when we move into out new house next month. My mum promptly turned around and told me "that's a stupid idea, you can't look after a child let alone a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 39

By chef - 19/07/2016 18:33 - Canada - Leduc

Today, marked the first day I saw my wife in months. After immediately trying to get down to business I realize that she has her monthly friend and it was much too sore to do anything. Today also marked the last time we will see each other for another 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 49

By elwin93 - 19/07/2016 17:39

Today, after a month on a new job. My finances were finally looking up after being out of work for half a year. I got the cash to pay most of the friends back I loaned from. I got pickpocketed shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 19/07/2016 17:27 - Australia - Frankston

Today my coworkers got a pay rise for the 6th time in the 8 years I've been working there, I did not. I'm the assistant manager and I've only received one pay rise in all my years of hard work. Even my subordinates are upset I don't get paid more. How much are they now getting? Twice my pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 42

By BandGeek4Lyfe - 19/07/2016 14:17 - United States

Today, I was excited to finally leave for Minnesota to visit the college of my dreams. I drove two and a half hours to an airport in New York, got a massive migraine from the trip, and was eager to get some rest on the plane. My flight had been cancelled due to a storm 500 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 76

By ian - 19/07/2016 14:13

Today, after my 10 year old brother was watching youtube for hours, he had apparently learned a new vocabulary word! He picks up a foam sword and asks me "Ian, is this a dildo?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 52

By Jack - 19/07/2016 13:50 - United States - Aurora

Today my girlfriend needed to talk to me. My family put me in a lot of debt then kicked me out for telling them I was upset and I'm now living with my girlfriend and her parents. Turns out she wants to date other people and I'm too broke to be her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 19/07/2016 12:44 - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, my boyfriend and I started making out and it started to become pretty hot when his cat jumped onto the bed. He mumbled to me to ignore the cat but it got pretty difficult when it started to lick me, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 64

By jeffob - 19/07/2016 12:25

Today, I was camping with my family and we went to bed with our swags fly screen open as it was a beautiful night and the weather was clear. We woke up at 3am to a storm with us and all our gear soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 84

By ear ache - 19/07/2016 11:33 - United States - Olean

Today, my parents told me not to wear headphones while mowing the lawn, because the sound was too loud and could be bad for my ears. I assured them that it wasn't a big deal since I play drums and those are much louder anyway. They must have agreed, so they sold my drum set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 43

By commandokid - 19/07/2016 11:28 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, my cousin decided it would be funny to pants me. In Walmart. I don't wear underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 170

By Jackalicious - 19/07/2016 11:18

Today, I was fired for calling in sick, I've never missed a day of work before this and I've never even been late... Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 49

By jeffob - 19/07/2016 10:50

Today, I was at a restaurant (which is 1 hour away from home) with my family eating dinner. I went to the bathroom with a mixed up stomach for about 15 minutes only to come back out and see that they had left. My phone was out of charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 23

By areyoukiddingme - 19/07/2016 09:53

Today, I found out that my uncle died. By reading about it on Facebook. Apparently everyone forgot to call and tell me about it. Including my father. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 29

By bigmama - 19/07/2016 09:45 - United States - Blacklick

Today, at 34 weeks pregnant I peed myself while brushing my teeth, not more than a minute earlier I had just used the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 48

By feebae - 19/07/2016 09:45

Today, my friend asked me whether I wanted to go to the gym with her, after grabbing my phone and a backpack I was genuinely disappointed when I found out she didn't mean a Pokémon GO gym. I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 90

By fleur_de_fevrier - 19/07/2016 09:39 - Europe

Today, my husband took the dog for a walk in the field behind our house and lost his phone. I scolded him as I told him not to take any valuables. As he had to go to work, I went looking for it. Not only didn't I find it but I lost mine too. Later, he found his. Mine is still missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 65

By ohdearlord95 - 19/07/2016 09:10 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my parter holding his shirt up with his chin jacking himself off. He got cranky at me for "scaring" him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 32

By fuckit10000 - 19/07/2016 08:57 - United States - Medford

Today, I confronted my husband about pissing on the toilet seat again. His response? To shine a bright flashlight in my face to disorient me. Everytime I tried to talk he'd shine it in my face again. I'm still having trouble seeing and I feel extremely demeaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 24

By Kicked out guy - 19/07/2016 08:11 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I was disowned by my mother because I asked her to tone it down on Facebook. She flipped out and called me a disappointment. The post I was mad about was her mooning her ex boyfriend in response to their breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 18

By doodlerad - 19/07/2016 08:10 - United States - Kaneohe

Today, I got the shits while out surfing, in a wetsuit. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 19/07/2016 08:03 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me.... with other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 33

By McNuggetsPro - 19/07/2016 07:54 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I found out that the best friend I just broke ties with for being abusive is dating my crush, FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 27

By rockydify - 19/07/2016 07:52

Today, at my work review, I got told I'm 'too robotic'. My company is currently spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to automate my job ... with robots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 16

By mcore - 19/07/2016 07:48 - United States - New Philadelphia

Today, my mom was holding a glass of water and asked if I thought she was going to throw it at me. Obviously I said no, considering there was no reason to. She then threw it at me, that way "I wouldn't doubt her in the future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 25

By Itineranthuman - 19/07/2016 07:39 - United States - Apo

Today, after months of delay, my company finally issued reimbursement check for my Afghan visa. Unfortunately, they mailed it to Virginia. No worries, I'll just grab a flight... from Afghanistan.

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 15

By FallenHero - 19/07/2016 07:34 - United States - South Haven

Today, I ate some food a coworker brought in. they insisted it was delicious, and I agreed at the time. Been cramping and hurling my guts out the last 4 hours after a twelve hour shift.Fml

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 25

By brsibby - 19/07/2016 07:27 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant to throw away. After putting on gloves and looking through all the garbage bags, I realized it was in the seat back pocket. I've washed my hands four times and they still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 48

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The Top

Today, someone left a note on the front door saying, "Let's play Hide and Seek". Whoever left the note apparently took the wheels off my truck and scattered them. So far, I've found one in my pool, and two outside my neighbor's house. I still can't find the last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 179

Today, during a school trip to Ireland, I tried taking a souvenir picture of a sheep wearing my sunglasses. So, if you ever see a sheep running past with sunglasses on, they're mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 519

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 400

You deserved it 9 051

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 178

Today, the choir director I’m playing drums for sent an email saying we’d changed venues, but didn’t say where it was, making me hunt for this venue, and making me nearly late to rehearsal. The bass player was here on time. How did she find the venue? The director's Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 154

Today, when I crossed the street, I almost died because of a careless driver, but when I crossed it again on my way back, I got hit by a bicycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 306