Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 05/09/2017 10:02

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex on the dining room table when his parents visited with his sister and one year old nephew. They all saw. Now, they hate me for 'corrupting their son'. We're 30 and live together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 05/09/2017 09:57

Today is the first day of my Thailand vacation together with my girlfriend. Today is also my first day with herpes

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 10

By "asperix" - 05/09/2017 09:45

Today my girlfriend cheated on me with my roommate... while i was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 13

By Somekindofcaleb - 05/09/2017 00:16 - United States - Mechanicsburg

After my most recent tattoo session for my sleeve my boyfriend of 3 years decided to break up with me because he hates tattoos. He knew I had tattoos before we even started dating

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 13

By homewrecked - 05/09/2017 05:55

Today, my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend celebrated their six month anniversary. We broke up a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

By overeducatedUnderpaidGenX - 05/09/2017 00:58

Today, I found out that a family member in the same career field gets paid about four times my salary for the same demands. The only difference is that he is just older enough that he graduated and got a job before the 2008 recession, and I'm younger and got into the field later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 13:21 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, my husband sent me a cute text before starting work so he wouldn't wake me up by calling me, I read the text after he pocket dialed me. fml

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 4

By po'd in nc - 04/09/2017 16:29

Today, a man came into the hotel that I work at, a man came into the hotel to get a room. We are pet friendly, and as such, he asked if we were OK with pets, and if I could help him get his pet into his room. What he failed to mention was the pet in question was a three food alligator... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 7

By wearingshadesandawig - 04/09/2017 11:17

Today, a distant family member made the news in several countries. By sending nudes to her underage students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 5

By Wetpants - 04/09/2017 08:44

Today, after driving for hours and barely making to work on time, I had a bout of nausea at the entrance and peed my pants, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 16

By Christian In-Training - 04/09/2017 01:30 - United States - Blacklick

Today, I got an erection at the worst possible time. Where, when? I'm glad you asked me: at church. During Holy Communion. In front of 200 or more people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 22:12 - United States - Buckhead

my parents forgot about me. They left the garage door locked and didn't tell me where the key was. I had to scale the fence to my own house.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 4

By Anonn - 03/09/2017 23:33

Today, my English teacher is having me rewrite my essay we had on "Lord of the Flies". Normally this wouldn't bother me, but it's the third time she's having me rewrite it. Oh, and did I mention it's only the first week of school? FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 13

By good-movie-right - 03/09/2017 16:40 - United States - Fostoria

Today, I was helping a lady friend set up a DVD player. Once it was working she decided I deserved a blowjob for my trouble. The movie that started playing was "American History X." I finished during the opening scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 16:29 - United States - Syracuse

I found out I am allergic to most laundry detergents, dryer sheets, and most soaps and body wash. I've been living on my own for less than a week. Back to square one- not knowing how to do shit.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 18:35

Today, I told my father I wasn't feeling well. He said I was just faking it to get out of classes. A few hours later, my sister drove me to the hospital. I have a terrible stomach disorder. He knows this. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 8

By "KrisWu2020" - 03/09/2017 18:06

A few days ago, I was sick and had to stay home from school. I emailed all my teachers for makeup work and it took my 3 long days and night to finish them. When i finally went to school, they told me I didnt have to do them.....FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 7

By B-ry - 03/09/2017 18:03

Today I had to wear a pair of my girlfriend's pants because we're visiting her family and I forgot more, after waking up and putting them on i went down stairs where I felt everyone staring at me, my gf quickly came and whispered to me that it was a bad idea, said the perfect outline of my manhood.

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 29

By "Heather Lynn Combo" - 03/09/2017 17:28

Today my super conservative Christian mother is in town. I get to hear how I am going to hell. for the next month. until my grandfather gets out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 17:10

Today I found out a potential customer of mine check bounced. my account is now a couple thousand dollars in the negative because of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 09:09

Today, I got my period 2 weeks early. I packed tampons and panty liners in a bag to put them in my purse. I went to work, and I needed to change. I looked I'm my purse and realized that my bag was still on the bathroom counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 12

By Ihatefathersday - 03/09/2017 08:39

Today, it was Father's Day in my country. Once again, my father refused to accept the card my sister and I spent almost an hour making and writing because it wasn't up to his expectations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 05:46

Today, my roommate and trusty friend of 6 years decided to break our shared lease on our apartment. Only three months into the year contract. He only gave us a week's notice. We can't afford rent without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 01:23

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. I asked what she was doing and she said nothing. Respectfully I said okay. 10 minutes go by and I here "Babe, come get in the shower with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 00:26

Today, I caught my girlfriend's mom forcing a conversation about a guy she considered to have a "perfect combination of relationship skills, and southern hospitality". When I remarked later that I wasn't some temp boyfriend, she responded with "Oh, you're not?"\nToday is our three years, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 6

By Whymeman - 02/09/2017 21:04

Today, while in school i had an opened chocolate bar in my trouser pocket. Little did i know there was a hole in my pocket that resulted in a chunk of melted chocolate rolling down my leg and out of the bottom of my trousers. I'm now known as the 17 year old kid who still has "accidents". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 46

By NailsPaintedPussyDry - 02/09/2017 18:27

Today my husband and i are fighting. After a few years of not really taking care of myself due to depression, I finally stepped up and have been secretly preparing to beautify myself for me AND him. He's accusing me of cheating. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 9

By JD23 - 02/09/2017 16:36

Today, I found out I may be out of a job that I started a month and a half ago because of Hurricane Harvey. I landed this job after a year of being unemployed from leaving a hostile working environment. I don't think I'll qualify for unemployment. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 5

By Miss ladybug97 - 02/09/2017 16:35

I was having dinner with my family, my grandma was sitting next to me. I got a massage on my Snapchat from a guy that has a crush on me asking me if I wanted to see his genitals, I said no. He send another message, as I open it all I see is dick on my phone screen...and so did my grandma FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 30

By seriously not stoned - 02/09/2017 16:22

Today, when eating with friends, I had a raging toothache so bad I started crying and had to go home and take painkillers. There, I met my new neighbor who was moving in next door. She must have got a great first impression of the guy who had red eyes and smiled at her like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 7

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The Top

Today, I'm celebrating my birthday in Russia. While we were enjoying a sauna, one of the guests decided to add water in order to make steam. It wasn’t water, it was vodka. You can imagine the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 173

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 924

You deserved it 33 736

Today, I found out that my intense acne is actually an allergic reaction to the "deep clean" product I've been using to reduce it. I've been using this product for the past ten years. Ten years of suffering through "acne" could have been easily avoided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 829

You deserved it 1 185

Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 142

Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 751

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 714

You deserved it 4 145