Nearly FMLs

By Best Coworker Ever - 11/01/2018 16:10

Today, I have expressed my desire to go see a psychiatrist to a coworker to evaluate my mental health and see what areas I can grow in. My coworker looked at me and said, "There's a coat closet over there if you need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 5

By Gas girl - 11/01/2018 12:06

Today, whilst sitting with his parents watching tv, my boyfriend decided to start tickling me. I couldn’t bear it and accidentally ripped out a huge fart. His parents pretended they heard nothing. Bless them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 8

By "l00pie" - 11/01/2018 11:38

Today, my department had a compulsory meeting with the CEO, just to see how things are going so that he can understand the issues we face. Turns out it was an excuse to get our office empty so HR could measure it for their own use. We are now hotdesking with 3 other departments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1

By Redneck IT guy - 11/01/2018 11:03

Today, while working as an IT/Gas Pump technician, I had to shut a convenience store down for a system upgrade (Turning on chip cards). A disgruntled customer pulled a gun on me outside. After an argument I produced my own concealed and licensed firearm, both of our guns failed to fire, he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 11/01/2018 06:46

Today, my sister tried to get me in trouble with my parents by showing them the messy garage. I'm 35 years old, my sister is 47 and I own the house AND garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 11/01/2018 05:32

Today I got my STD test results back. I have chlamydia. I have also been in a relationship for three years and I've never cheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 4

By Bad Babysitter - 11/01/2018 04:36

Today, my three year old sister wanted to have some sweet tea. I found another cup on the counter filled with what I thought was leftover tea, for her to drink out of. Strangely, she didn't like it. Apparently, the leftover tea was actually whiskey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 57

By Micha - 10/01/2018 18:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I looked at my best friend across the dinner table and we had a laughing attack... that would've been fine if her grandpa wasn't telling a sweet story about his wife who recently passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 57

By Life sucks mostly - 11/01/2018 01:57

Today, as I was talking to my uncle about not touching my hips and butt when he hugs me, his drunk bar-rat girlfriend came up behind me and pinched my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 11/01/2018 01:14

Today, I found out my boss is living a double life as some sort of submissive cross-dressing sissy. I found out when I ran into him (or her?) at an S&M club. I can't look him in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 18

By Feeling Worthless - 10/01/2018 23:29

Today, my best friend complained (again) on social media that no one ever talks to him, he’s losing close friends, he doesn’t have anyone, etc. I text him and check on him daily but it usually takes him two to three days to reply if not longer. I guess I don’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1

By NeedALittleRoomToBreathe - 10/01/2018 22:29

Today, after waking up tired and just wishing I could go and lay down, I walked to my truck and found out the hard way that our seemingly fine driveway was actually entirely covered in black ice. I now have a badly sprained wrist and elbow, but at least I got to lie down! On the ice. In pain. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

By Angry wife - 10/01/2018 14:39 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I wanted to be intimate with my husband, but we didn't have any condoms. I borrowed one from my sister and we went to get started, but it was too small and turned my husband's dick blue so I didn't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 26

By "EarthsMightiestHeroes" - 10/01/2018 20:35

Today, the librarian, I help out gave me two stacks of about 200 papers to staple. I finished them, and she gave me another stack of papers to copy and staple. 4 stacks of 75 papers. As I was halfway done with the second round of stapling, did she decide to share with me her electric stapler. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 9

By "thunderbolt11" - 10/01/2018 20:07

Today, I got fired for taking too long In the bathroom. I had explosive diarrhea and it was painful to wipe my ass because of how acidic it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 6

It's a trap!

By raspution - 10/01/2018 19:38

Today, my wife messaged me "Babe, can you save some energy for me after work?" I work 60 hours a week since she's not working, so it's been a while, and I excitedly said yes. Got home to find a note saying "Thank you for offering to clean the house!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 214

You deserved it 1 354

raspution tells us more.

raspution 21

Saturday 6 January 2018 5:05

OP: Lots of questions. I get home from work at 1am so she was sleeping. I cook and clean my own mess made from it the mess is almost all hers since she doesn't clean up for herself. We do not have any kids but that is the problem. About a year and a half ago she had her 3rd miscarriage. She became extremely depressed tried to hurt herself and so on. She is doing better now but I am getting tired of her being like this. she goes to counseling 2x a month and some times I just feel like she's using me. All of last year we only had sex 3 times and i don't want to leave her if she's really depressed and want her to get better but then crap like this makes me think she's just using me and taking advantage of it. Also I worry a 4th try wont fix things and if she had another miscarriage it would be worse.

By "Rawrimsammy" - 10/01/2018 19:18

Today, I found out that I'm going to be charged for sexual abuse on my sister, why? For making out with my girlfriend in the same room as my sister. This will stay on my record for 10 years. Goodbye to adopting a child or getting a good job.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 12