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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

#4256639
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49191) - you deserved it (6036)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

#4255105
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (3469)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

#4253042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (34265)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

#4252851
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45879) - you deserved it (3219)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (37515)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (63499)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

#4212428
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (2142)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7938) - you deserved it (46102)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

#4192462
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55230) - you deserved it (2962)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (42261)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after receiving a message about being hired at a retail store, I went to the orientation for new employees. The trainer seemed perplexed when I told him my name, but he gave me my paperwork and continued with training. At the end of the 8 hour day, he asked to talk to me. I wasn't actually hired. FML

#4172505
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (2151)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:30pm - work - by LMN (man) - United States (Washington)



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