Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3198) - you totally deserved it (131356)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
You're lucky i would of put shit in it, because you are what you eat.
#7 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:49pm by suaveneanderthal
Not only shit but some laxatives would have made it better.
#63 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:38pm by Alyakkayla
I would have put shit in it, too.
If I weren't so unconfrontational though I'd have found out who was doing it and punched them in the face.
#112 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:43pm by Nakedsquirrel
LMAO. YDI, BIG TIME! HAHA. Next make your own lunch and maybe him one too, as an apology.
#138 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:49pm by JustSoLost
I wish this would happen to me. I would lace the sandwich with epicac so not only do they vomit a whole bunch, I'd know which fucker it was. Epicac sandwich is a win-win.
I have a friend who's parents (who worked together) actually went out and gathered dog shit, mixed it with some mayo and what not and made sandwiches. When they were stolen, as always, they left a note for the thief that read "To the person that's been stealing our lunch, hope you enjoyed the dog-shit sandwiches yesterday!"
Never had a problem again.
#253 - On 09/02/2009 at 11:43am by no_tengo_dinero
make your own sandwich, ass. to bad it wasn't a cock meat sandwich, which we all know u love
#332 - On 02/11/2010 at 2:35am by truelyawesome
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Some people are so proud that they'd rather steal than be charity. I know quite a few. And also, if you have bills, food may be one of the ones that you can't manage to pay. So, FYL if you're being a complete douche and not taking into consideration WHY he might have been stealing.
#119 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:01pm by pentameter
how does that excuse stealing someone's lunch? its not okay to steal someones lunch every day and use your "pride" or lack of money as an excuse..
#122 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:09pm by likeOMGwow
Consideration of why he was stealing? What a sack of shit.
No matter how you spin it, he's still stealing food from another person and thereby needlessly putting them in the position he'd have been in otherwise: nothing to eat. This isn't the wild, this is what should be a professional setting.
When you work like this guy obviously is, you budget to include food. It shouldn't take a genius to realise that. Stealing is inexcusable and he deserved a much nastier trap, something that would give him horrible gastrointestinal trauma.
#129 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:18pm by Nakedsquirrel
maybe the guy brown bagging it is struggling financially too, and can't afford to buy lunch from out or bring another brown bagged lunch. the op totally deserved it
#137 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:43pm by beth23
#119, did you ever consider that maybe the person who the OP stole food from has money troubles? Maybe that lunch they packed was all they could afford, and after the OP stole it, they had no food and no money to go out somewhere and buy more. Also, would you say it was justified if someone ate a restaurant, and then just walked out without paying because they were too poor to afford to pay for it, and 'too proud' to take charity? If not, explain to me how that's any different from stealing someone's lunch at work.
That's a load of bull. How can you defend him? He has a job, and there is plenty of places to get food for cheap. Plus, if he has money for a computer to post this on FML, I'm pretty sure he has money to bag a simple bagged lunch.
He was stealing because he was lazy and thought he could do whatever he wanted, adn he thought he could get away with it because his co-worker hadn't taken any action to do anything about it until now.
I don't know what in his mind made him think he would get any sympathy, but he wont get much from here..
uh, you had it coming? i dont see how this is an FML, its more of an epic win for the person whos lunch you stole.
#188 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:29pm by randomcomment321
Er, Mr.Pentameter, using your logic, as I'm a bit short on money and am too proud to get a minimum wage job, it would be acceptable for me to start mugging people or robbing banks.
In this case, there is NO reason to be doing so - there has to be some kind of vending machine or store nearby.
But yeah, this is the textbook example of a YDI.
#220 - On 09/02/2009 at 2:06am by glock17wielder
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own?
It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger
Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
Exactly, why would anyone sympathize with someone who in their own words habitually steals from their coworker? Even if OP is broke as hell they have a job and can surely afford to buy a loaf of bread and some pb&j (less than $10 for 2 weeks) instead of being a thief.
Honestly OP got off easy with dog food. I wouldve made an unholy concoction of dog food, trash and capsicum.
How could you possibly not deserve this? Good for them. Seriously, that's some smooth thinking.
#5 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:48pm by Insert_Wit_Here
Do you go to Wren High? If so, hope you liked your lunch, fucker.
#8 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:50pm by Pokerdance
Ah, fuck. I didn't see where it said "at work." I did this to some punk at my school a few days ago.
#50 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:19pm by Pokerdance
You totally deserve it.... and you deserve to be fired. My office will fire anyone stealing anybody's stuff out of the refridgerator.
YDI, you poor excuse for a human being.
#9 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:50pm by _whatever_77
I bet the guy who made the sandwich is actually the one who wrote this, to see how many people would be against the sandwich thief and say he deserved it.
#10 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:50pm by dancingdoggy
this guy is kind of a genius though for that idea.
although...i probably would have made the theif a knuckle sandwich.
#111 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:41pm by the_stereotype
Honestly if you liked the guys sandwiches so much you could have just offered to pay him to you make you one =P, but you totally deserve that for making someone go without lunch multible times
#167 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:31pm by brutallyhonest24
YDI for stealing lunches. Asshole. Make your own damn lunch, fuckhead.
#14 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:52pm by deaditegirl
"habitually"? i mean, maybe i'd be able to say fyl if you stole someone's lunch once when you didn't have any money or time to get lunch and then they found out, but come on- you do this shit every day? did you actually think he'd never figure it out, you fucking dumbass?
YDI x 13289u7398
Just because you don't have money to buy lunch or forgot to pack one does not mean you have the right to steal someone elses. Maybe they have to work really late and need to eat. Its rude. You have a job you have money to buy some food or get food stamps.
#28 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:01pm by LaceyPatrickson
there is a special place in hell reserved just for douchebags like you... you just experienced a small taste of it.
#18 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:57pm by rockmaster
YDI for stealing lunch from someone. Make your own lunch you duche bag!
#19 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:57pm by missbrunettgirl
You're lucky thats all the sandwich had. You'd have about two tablespoons of my DNA if you were ripping mine off...
I would like to meet that person. He/she seems AWESOME. I bet this person discussed the problem with family and friends and they came up with this great idea to make the grossest sandwich possible without you being able to smell right away that it wasn't gooood.
wtf, why would you steal someone's lunch?? and apparently more than once?
you're an asshole, and why would you ever think this would be an FML? YDI more than anything. I hope you choked on the dog food.
#26 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:59pm by bellaellaella
Very true, Plexico. Hopefully he'll throw it up and have to taste again the mystery-meat made out of parts from which animals piss and shit.
#62 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:36pm by gummibehrs
Do you want people to come in here and pity you for being an asshole? You deserve. Imagine if someone kept stealing YOUR lunches everyday, and you had to go hungry. How would YOU like it?
#30 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:02pm by ZuraLasgeon
you nasty dirty ass poor bitch! go get your own fuckin lunch why the fuck would you do that YDI !!!!
You're leaving someone else without food so you're not hungry. You deserve to eat dog food, asshole.
#39 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:08pm by gummibehrs
I'd have put worse in there than dogfood, and I'd have mixed it with some Dave's Insanity Sauce. I hate thieves.
I clicked both FYL and YDI because I don't know if you were stealing it because you couldn't afford food or if you were just being a jackass. If it's the first, I'm sorry. If that's the case, explain to your co-worker and apologize... who knows, if you mention it, they might be generous and share.
#42 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:13pm by pentameter
he has a job! no way he cant afford something cheap to eat at least
#54 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:24pm by infidelboy
If someone has a job, then they are able to afford food, because NOTHING comes before food. Two winters ago I lived in a house with no running water, and no heat (in Massachusetts) and for a two week period in january, no electricity. However, I did not go hungry, because if given the option of "take a shower or not-starve" I'd choose not starving. I showered at friends houses, and neighbors. If you go up to someone you know and say "Hey can I use your shower?" a lot of people wont say no. I filled up gallon jugs of water in thier sinks for cooking and washing dishes. I slept with a shit-ton of blankets, and wore my winter coat around the house to keep warm. No excuse for stealing food if you have a job.
#135 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:32pm by boatkicker
#137, poverty is not a reason to steal. Is he so broke that he will starve to death if he doesn't, and no food bank in town will help him? Does he have no friends who can float him money for ramen and PB&J? Has he exhausted every resource? If so, maybe I can see the occasional theft out of absolute life-or-death necessity, but this guy just sounds like a douche who's too cheap or lazy to feed himself, or thinks bcause he's on a shoestring budget he "deserves" what someone else has.
The only thing he deserves is the dog food sandwich and a big YDI.
#289 - On 09/03/2009 at 1:40am by CosmicPossum
You actually want people to feel sorry for you? You're making a person go hungry every day, and why can't you make your own stupid sandwich yourself?
YDI, douche.
Did you really expect to get anything except YDI? I mean, you were stealing someone's property. You are lucky the person didn't put rat poison and/or a strong laxative in it. Asshole.
Yeah you should have gotten a three course meal instead, asshole. You're lucky it was only dog food, I would have poisoned it, and went out to eat.
#53 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:24pm by slave_to_misery
YDI, just be thankful that that's all he could think of to put in the sandwich.
Next time make your own sandwich bitch!
#57 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:28pm by rickrolled01
Seriously...there's no reason.
Different situation: some points I forgot my lunch money at school,and because I have friends there, they gave me a salad (one hates veggies, and it came with a sub) and one gave me 50¢ t buy cookies :)
there are always options, and you have a job, and money, so there's no reason to make a habit out of stealing.
#66 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:41pm by XxKate1294xX
what the hell is wrong with you?
make or buy your own sandwiches, dipshit
#60 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:33pm by ElMundio87
I wonder how it tasted..
Please tell us Hairball, did you just get humiliated or was it actually the taste that forced you to share this FML?
Tell the guy who made the sandwich that you saw this guy from the upper floor (etc..) puking in the bathroom for an hour after lunch break, and stay away from those sandwiches starting now!
lol, like I said earlier... I'd have mixed in several sources of DNA for him to chew on. Inconsiderate POS's like that deserve to enjoy lunch 2girls1cup style!
I only judge the guy making the sandwich for simply using dog food. That probably tipped the OP off before the first bite. A proper response would have been to make an entirely normal looking sandwich and hiding laxatives or something similar in it, so the entire thing would be consumed before the OP discovered the trap.
#69 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:45pm by mouseintern
You're lucky all you got was dog food. My job would have fired you for that.
#71 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:50pm by disney_blonde
Yeah, doesn't it just suck when the people you steal food from fight back and do something about it? Like, why can't they just suck it up and let you push them around? YDI
#72 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:51pm by kristen56
this is, hands down, the #1 dumbest FML i have ever read in my life.
#74 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:54pm by livelaughlovinit
YDI pack yo own lunch!
jeeze stop stealing everyone elses!
#77 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:56pm by XxCoolPersonxX
Good... you soooooo deserve it! Hope the taste stays in your mouth!
#79 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:59pm by mamasharones
You deserve it. What makes you think you have the right to take things that don't belong to you? Anyone who steals food from the break room at my work gets fired on the spot.
#80 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:02pm by Widener2012
omfg! that is soo funnyyy. i should do that if someone starts stealing my lunches. :P
thanks for the idea!
but YDI, i hate when people steal my things so i know how it feels! and you shouldnt anyway, its common sense to not take things that dont belong to you.
#83 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:07pm by Crazy_Cookie
So the dog food finally clued you in. How many of the previous sandwiches had fresh "mayonaise".
#84 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:07pm by I_am_stupid_also
... Really?
I was going to write some witty insult, but I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you want sympathy for this.
You've got a job. There's no reason for you to be stealing a co-worker's food every day. Get your lazy ass to the fucking grocery store and buy your own damn food. Hell, go to the dollar store. They've got bread, chips, PB&J, and soda/juice/bottle water/whatever. All that great lunch food for a dollar a piece!
You deserve it. As has been said already, you're lucky he didn't do worse.
#85 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:07pm by AndelleRae
this is more of a fail u should of taken it every other day i bet the dude went around smellin if ppl smelled like dog food lol he knows its u!!! prepare for the laxatives!
Thats awesome.
Think yourself lucky they didnt mix crazy hot chilli sauce with it :)
#89 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:12pm by Obfuscation
yea you definately got off easy with dog food, i would've made a couple sandwiches with my own blend of baby batter and mayo for a couple days before i decided to have a supervisor check the tapes and have you fired for theft
You deserved that! Your not supposed to steal! Didn't you learn that in like pre-school?
O.o
#93 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:15pm by x_Leopard_x
You are just lucky you weren't stealing from me. Canned dog food? You should be thanking the guy for only doing that. If it had been me I would haev done everything I could think of to it. I would cum in it, I would have put a dead insect it it. I would probably put my dead skin in it.
Are you just lazy that you can't make your own sandwhich? Or just to dumb to know how.
I was thinking of commenting but this just wrapped up my thoughts and feelings quite nicely.
#98 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:23pm by Alexgoesfml
This is the most deserving YDI I may have ever seen here. You deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it and worse. Feel lucky that dog food is all you got.
#97 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:21pm by CosmicPossum
you loser. why you stealin his lunches in the first place??? i was gonna be respectful cause fml asked me to, but this is so called for. i outta fuck you with a rake.
#101 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:24pm by sebastian_92
That person is made of awesome, and you so totally deserved it I made up a new acronym for you: YSTDI.
#105 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:27pm by Brooklynxman
...and you expected sympathy? YDI for sure, and I almost never assume the person deserved it. And that was an awesome way to get someone to stop stealing their food.
#106 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:30pm by gothic_cat_lady
WTF man? YDI and worse. Hopefully he beat the shit out of you after he saw you in the bathroom vomiting your dog food sandwich.
No one ever steals my lunch. Then again, not many people have an acquired taste for raw elk penis smothered with a light, creamy testicle sauce.
#113 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:43pm by Triumvirate
Mmmm delicious, delicious...but I believe your forgetting the side of rotting bull testicle tendon, hm?
They make it for dogs but I find it quite delectable.
#128 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:15pm by awesomeperson
Wait, this IS in reply to someone talking about the South Park where Cartman kills that boy's parents right?
This is why comments shouldn't be edited.
F YOUR life?? F THEIR life! That's like saying "oh woe is me, I broke into the shop to steal from their tills but they'd just emptied them that afternoon. FML."
You can buy ramen noodles for 10/$1. They suck, but they're cheap.
The turn-around I can see in this case (in the fucked up world we live in) is the OP trying to sue the lunch-bagger for putting something vile in his lunch (kind of like the robber suing the homeowners because their window cut him when he broke in?). I'd love to hear what a judge would say in that case.
I'll admit to drinking the odd pop in the fridge that's been hanging around unmarked for a while, but steal someone else's lunch? You ass-hat. Seriously, I do hope this guy gets fired.
NOPE NOT AM FML srrrry YDI for stealing other peoples food and forr being a jerk FYL?
#124 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:11pm by nicholleexo0
You deserve a sucky life because ur poor and a complete douchebag so go back to ur shanty
#126 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:12pm by uallsuckatlife16
That's what you get you fat bitch!
Just because it's a community fridge doesn't mean you can choose what you want.
I have this person like that at work. She eats other people's food and then eats her own. Makes me so pissed off when I don't have breakfast and am looking forward to eating something on my lunch break.
Thanks for the good idea.
Oh, woe is you! Please, this person obviously just wanted to eat lunch and was sick and tired of your shit. Make (or buy) your own damn lunch so everyone can benefit, and not just you, though you are obviously the most important person ever.
#133 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:27pm by congratz13
sucked in no one has pity for you maybe you shouldnt STEAL other peoples lunches and make your own
#142 - On 09/01/2009 at 9:14pm by lindamichelle1
You should thank the guy you've been stealing from for helping you find out you're a selfish asshole.
You habitually steal his lunch? you must also habitually smoke weed, you muncher.
#147 - On 09/01/2009 at 9:47pm by Caldwell94
This is like a few years ago when my brother was in high school and someone kept stealing his hair gel from his gym locker, so he put Nair in the bottle.
This one guy at work I know kept getting beers out of his mini bar stolen. So he opened one up carefully, pissed in it, then put the cap back on so it looked like an unopened beer. No one steals his beer anymore.
Hope you learn from this.
#149 - On 09/01/2009 at 9:48pm by blah123blah
Today I realized the person you've been stealing lunches from needs to be added to my personal list of all time heroes for the human race. He should be nominated for a Nobel Prize.
I'm not sure if there are different levels to being owned, but if there are, you just got owned at the highest level.
Beautiful story, made my day.
ps... how do you know he didn't include a bit of dog shit in the sandwich? I would have.
This one time at band camp, we made brownies with chili powder in them to give to the clarinet section.
people like you op need to get laid out by triple T. I pissed in my orange soda one day when someone kept stealing it.
#156 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:02pm by Nightfallz
how is this an fml? at all? seriously. you new you were stealing his lunch HABITUALLY. i would have understood if you mistook his bag as your own one day and he did that to you, but you stole his lunch on purpose. its not like you're some starved child, you have a job and most likely a paycheck big enough to afford food. so WHY? because his lunch was better than yours or something? if that was the case you could have been like "hey, your lunch looks good, what do you put in it?". jeez YDI and not only for your lunch food heists, but also because you couldn't recognize or smell dog food before you ate it, but im glad you had to taste that. stupid.
#157 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:03pm by theshinepolice
I hope you liked it before you realized it was dog food. I hope you get doggy breath. I hope you realize you are a dog, and I don't mean the "man's best friend" type. GET DOWN ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES AND HOWL LIKE A DOG, OP! Woof Woof, asshole!
#164 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:25pm by iFruit
Everyones saying that they would of put shit on it. imagine someone walking in on you while ur spreading that shit on that sandwich. hey! there's a potential fml now is there. YDI this isn't the fucking 60's where u take someone lunch and/or money. fucking prick
#166 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:29pm by Jonathan33
another thing, how the fuck did this even get published??!! thre are so many great stories that don't get a chance becuz people post stupid shit like this.
#168 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:33pm by Jonathan33
That's a very good point. I've moderated some great FML's that never saw the first page and then I wonder "Where the hell is it? That was a beautiful FML!"
((And maybe I'm also a little bitter because a few of my FML's haven't been posted, and crap like this does))
#180 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:06pm by boatkicker
And we're supposed to feel bad that you got owned for stealing someone's lunches? Where I work, people get fired if they get caught stealing lunches. YTDI.
if someone constantly stole from me i would jizz on it n add mayo so u cant tell ur lucky
#171 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:40pm by slaveowner190461
I hate, hate, hate, HATE people like you. People who have never grown out of being an idiotic 10-year-old SHOULD NOT BE HIRED TO WORK IN PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS.
Companies absolutely should, and do, fire people for knowingly stealing lunches. You're stealing personal property from other employees. GROW UP and consider other people.
YDI!
You're an asshole. Go to McDonalds and stop being a stain on the modern workplace.
#177 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:55pm by GriefBacon
What's worse is that nine times out of ten, the only thing people have to look forward to at work is lunch. So, not only are you leaving him hungry because you're a selfish fuckface, but you're also ruining the only decent time at work for him.
As everyone has mentioned, you got off easy with just dog food. If it had been me you were stealing lunches from, I'd have put a nice dose of Viagra and laxatives in a sandwich that I'd scrubbed across a public toilet.
Asshole.
#178 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:57pm by gummibehrs
YDI for stealing enough to form a habit.
By the way, if the other person could not afford more food, where did the dog food come from? He wouldn't waste money on pointless revenge. If he had a dog to get the food from, why keep the dog through such financial troubles? Your explanations infer far too much with this meager amount of information. I know 300 chars. not much to fit in there, but you people are going overboard on this stuff.
#182 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:11pm by BabaBlackShirt
Just because he put dog food in a sandwich doesn't mean he has a dog. He probably bought it especially to put it in this fucker's food. And dog food costs at most a dollar, so he still might have financial problems.
I personally hope the poor guy found the dog food leftover in someone's garbage can, and decided to put rotten animal by-products in the sandwich he knew the asswipe would steal.
#191 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:45pm by gummibehrs
Wow, I mean really, wow. If I were your coworker, I would half put half a gallon of tabasco sauce in my sandwich.
Or, I would have given you some of wonkas magic chewing gum, wouldnt be able to steel when your a blueberry, would you? YSFDI
I love carma-like retribution. You definitely deserved that one.
#184 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:20pm by sjt21
YDI - You're lucky it wasn't rat poison, or herpes-infected spit.
#186 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:22pm by bigcrazymike
got through moderation because it's hysterical...
and totally agree with everybody. YDI douchebag
#299 - On 09/03/2009 at 11:49pm by imbored932
I cannot express how much you deserved this, you thieving shithead. I hope that he figures out who you are based on the smell of canned dog food on your breath and reports your stealing ass to your employer. Count yourself lucky. This guy went easy on you. If it were me, I would have filled the sandwich with dead bugs and hidden them with meat. Or better yet, rig a paint bomb to the bag like the banks do, and looked for the guy with the blue face screaming "MY EYES!"
YDI for stealing lunches, dimwit!
Honestly, if I'd have been the one that you were stealing from, you would've gotten much more than that!
I can appreciate the lunch-owner's sense of humour, however. ;)
Karma is spelled with a K, #184. Also it doesn't exist. There is such a thing as poetic justice, but there is no guiding force in the universe that causes it to occur.
well, kind of depends on how you look at it. one understanding is that whatever negativity you put into the universe, you increase the universe's negativity by that much, and are therefore that much more likely to get it back. it's less like a guiding force a more like a probability equation.
I would have punched your teeth out, then forced the dog food - can and all, down your throat if that was me
ydi... I have had that happen to my lunch before and ya know if they are making sandwhiches alot it is bc that person may not be able to afford to eat out. so you really deserve it. that is stealing. BTW the person who stole my lunch is kinda slow so don't blame him so much. what does that say about u!!!
#196 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:55pm by kristidgranger
YDI.
You're lucky; if it were me, I would've added laxatives to that delicious sandwich.
#202 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:20am by jackie_of_spades
You're lucky it's only dog food. You totally deserved it
#203 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:26am by DontYouWish
You, sir, have just been owned. Be thankful it was only dog food, I would have put something much nastier in there, and you wouldn't even know until the next day. >:D
your stupid! you totally deserved it glad he got you back
#206 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:37am by bdolphin24
Boohoo, the person I've been stealing lunch from everyday finally caught on to me and made a dog food sandwich, yeah your life is fucked, jerk
you totally deserved that! i would have gone straight to putting crap in that sandwich!
#212 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:50am by xoxcinderellaxox
pentameter...are you fucking serious?! Maybe YOU'RE not taking into consideration why the guy was actually brown bagging lunch...maybe he can't afford lunch either. The OP was wrong for stealing and got what he deserved. Next time use your head for more than a hat rack dip shit.
#214 - On 09/02/2009 at 1:04am by iplayrugby18
How sweet of him. I would have put much worse in there.
#217 - On 09/02/2009 at 1:39am by FoundManyLemons
I can't believe some people are actually voting FYL for this one. It should be a unanimous YDI.
I guess they don't have a brain though, and are therefore confused about the story. Or, they might be just as sick and messed up in the head as the OP and can identify with him.
Either way, fuck whoever is voting FYL because obviously you have no conscience, morals, or even basic sense of right and wrong.
#230 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:11am by gummibehrs
serves you right, tosser.
what a douchey thing to do steal someones sandwiches
#232 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:37am by v1knownaz_chris
Did you leave some money for the Original Maker of the sandwich, did you replace their food for them. What makes you think you have the right to their lunch?
#233 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:58am by LaceyPatrickson
YDI. i would have let the dog food marinate in my pee overnight and would have mixed in about five laxatives too.
you got what you deserved you fucking thief. You are lucky, the fucker who stole my lunch got an Exlax brownie. I didn't see his shitty ass for a couple days.
you definately deserved that one bro but still jesus christ why is everyone so harsh on this dude.. he got what was comin to him drop it. its not like all of you are goddamn angels
by the way.. dog food sandwich, thats fuckin great. how did it taste hahaha
#238 - On 09/02/2009 at 6:13am by SizeMayVary
We're not claiming to be angels, but damn I would NEVER steal someone else's lunch, leaving them to go hungry just so I wouldn't.
When I started my last job, I was beyond broke and had maybe a total of €10 to my name that had to last until I was paid. But nothing came before food. I couldn't afford much to eat but I survived on vending machine snacks until the first time I was paid and could afford lunch. Sometimes people would share their food with me, knowing all I could buy for lunch that day was a bag of chips.
I know being broke and living off snack foods sucks, but I did it and I'd much rather eat a bag of chips for lunch than steal someone's sandwich like a selfish prick. I therefore have no sympathy for the OP, because there is absolutely no excuse for that. I'm sure the guy he was stealing from (before he started stealing) would have gladly shared his lunch with this douche if he had just asked.
#270 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:32pm by gummibehrs
Holy shit, you're a douchebag. The rest of us get up 5 minutes earlier to pack something to eat while we slave away at our shitty jobs, don't ruin that for us too.
Exactly. This asshole ruined the only pleasant time at work, on top of leaving the poor man hungry.
#269 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm by gummibehrs
That guy is totally fucking epic.
and OP, not only are you a complete fucktard, but beggars (and sandwich thieves) can't be choosers. Don't complain, douche.
Seriously, ask your boss for a raise if you can't afford to buy bread for yourself.
#243 - On 09/02/2009 at 7:45am by AFewScrewsLoose
Have a job and still stealing sack lunches? You're pathetic. He/She should have put worse than just some canned dog food in that sandwich.
#244 - On 09/02/2009 at 7:46am by CookiMonster2005
OP - be glad all you got was a dog food sandwich. This week my friend got somebody fired for stealing his lunch.
I would have made you a shit sandwich with man-sauce mayo.
#249 - On 09/02/2009 at 9:52am by kayla_bo_bayla
You're lucky it wasn't me. I would have laced it with rat poison.
#250 - On 09/02/2009 at 10:13am by joethebiden
wow, I always joke about stealing lunches but I would never trust what other people make. I do, however, steal change from their desk and usually get enough to buy a lunch once a week.
#251 - On 09/02/2009 at 10:59am by RiverRelic
YDI. Why don't you quit being a lazy ass and make you own sandwiches instead of stealing them. I hope you got sick -.- .
You deserve that so much.
Pack your own damn lunch or go buy something you jerk.
Other people don’t spend their time and money to make you something.
You deserve more than a dog food sandwich – you deserve to be beat unconscious.
#256 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:01pm by SarlaccBits
At least it was dog food. Had it been my lunch you had been stealing, I would've put more than just dog food in there.
#260 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:37pm by censorshipoff
I hope you ate it. If you're stealing lunch instead of making your own, you have no room to be picky. Stop complaining.
I hope you get explosive diarrhea from this and everyone in your office knows why. BTW are you so completely stupid as to even wonder why this is not a FML but Karmic revenge?
Somebody should make ideservedit.com and direct this poster to the site.
PS: You're lucky it wasn't anything worse than dog food.
#265 - On 09/02/2009 at 1:40pm by TheTragicReturn
WIN! Dog food is a great idea. And for those of you who are suggesting broken glass and laxatives, you are fucking assholes. A person who steals food does not deserve to die, retards. They need to simply be taught a lesson. On passive aggressive notes, someone admitted putting horse laxatives in food to see who was stealing it and 2 people in the office had to go to the hospital. The fucking ER had no idea what they were dealing with & the people could have been killed because the "really smart and savvy" laxative planter wasn't about to admit that she had done it.
Dog food is a brilliant idea! Props!
Yes because I'm sure the morgue is FILLED with people who died from laxative-related accidents.
Please. There's a difference between horse laxatives and regular laxatives.
Actually, people can end up in the hospital from normal laxatives, too. I was watching something once and someone decided to put laxatives in donuts and pass them out. A few people ended up in the hospital because the pranksters were too stupid to read the boxes and see that some of the laxatives were suppositories.
It sounds bizarre, but never underestimate how silly people can be. Dog food was a fine substitute; most other things would just be bad news. Just because something won't kill you doesn't mean that messing around with it is okay.
I would just make a really good sandwich and stuff it full of laxatives. Seriously, what is worse, eating dog food for 1 second or shitting all day long?
#271 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:42pm by xXMILKYCHUNKSXx
That's what you get for stealing otehr people's food, you asshat!
#275 - On 09/02/2009 at 4:31pm by Hellsno
another good idea would have been a placenta sandwich.
#276 - On 09/02/2009 at 4:52pm by unejeunefille
ydi a million times.. I've always wondered what sort of douch would steal someone food... dumbass, I hope u ate every bite before realizing what it was... u r a prick n karma will get u everytime.. enjoy
You're lucky it was only dog food.
What the fuck is the matter with you? Do you care that someone else has to go hungry because you are too lazy and selfish to bring your own fucking lunch? How dare you steal someone else's food. You're a douchebag and got what you deserved. Bring your own fucking lunch.
#281 - On 09/02/2009 at 7:41pm by nonnymouse
This makes me think of the episode on Friends where a guy keeps stealing Ross' lunch. Ross should have taken a page out of dog food guy's book, lol
#283 - On 09/02/2009 at 9:57pm by honeyishrnkdakid
Ha, you did deserve that, but at least it wasn't laxative.....my friend's mom had her lunches stolen for two years and finally got fed up. hahahah
Why the FUCK would u steal someone elses lunch. How would u feel if someone did that to you. YDI big time.
Good, and your lucky really, cuz I probably would've shot on a bun and made you eat that you lazy pig. Make your own god damn food, what has that poor person been eatting all day if your stealing his food huh??
Douchebag
#290 - On 09/03/2009 at 2:50am by xXlolololXx
thats why you make your own sandwich...takes like 1 minute.
#291 - On 09/03/2009 at 4:09am by pipsqueak7
wow...you got off easy. i would have given you x-lax brownies for dessert. quit stealing other people's crap, ass hat.
At least you didn't get an ass whooping. I'd do that and add a little more and depending on who it was maybe an ass whooping.
#294 - On 09/03/2009 at 5:54pm by ElNegroHombre
LOL GO UR WORKMATE!!!!!!
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#303 - On 09/05/2009 at 10:49am by pinelotiile
OP u got off so lucky! i wouldve put canned dogfood, dog shit, and haberno peppers in that sandwhich!
EPIC WIN WORKMATE!!!!
#304 - On 09/05/2009 at 11:44am by lucyluv744
Perhaps you shouldn't steal other people's lunches, dumbass. If I caught you stealing my lunch, I would break your fingers.
Possibly the biggest YDI on the entire site, you thieving cumguzzler.
#307 - On 09/07/2009 at 5:24am by deathproof
if you were still my sandwiches i would've bust a nut all over the sandwich put laxatives and viagra mixed with some colon blow
#309 - On 09/09/2009 at 12:44am by NRA_advocate
YDI thief. Make your own damn sandwich.
The person should have also put some "Chocolate" in the center.
#310 - On 09/12/2009 at 3:33pm by Ohnothingreally
Gee, sounds like someone was trying to teach you a lesson, and if you're posting this as an FML you apparently didn't learn it so I'll spell it out for you: Stealing is wrong. Stop taking your co-worker's food and bring your own damn lunch, jerk!
#311 - On 09/13/2009 at 10:36am by lakita_lover
Today, I finally decided to trick a fucker who steals my lunch. However, I used my last can of dog food on a sandwitch this thing ate. FML
#314 - On 09/21/2009 at 11:15pm by Jincos
Aw that stinks. But you know, canned dog food has a distinct smell. :/ You should have known it wasn't REAL meat.
Better luck next time, bub.
#315 - On 09/28/2009 at 10:18pm by gingerbreadpup08
You fat fuck. your too damn lazy to make your own fucking sandwich, and the fact that your heavy chevy nutty professor self can't smell that it's fucking dog food blows my mind. The fact that your that fucking greedy is a total embarssment
#316 - On 10/14/2009 at 2:15pm by xclegend613
You're lucky, I would've used mineral oil. That stuff turns your stomach within minutes and give you the worst upset stomach. A few minutes, it'll hit you instantly, and you'll be running for the nearest toilet or wastebasket... if you can make it.
#317 - On 10/15/2009 at 4:55pm by Josh_Factor
this is like obama winning the damn nobelpeaceprize.
ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. make your own damn sandwich you fat lazy fuck . your lucky the poor bastard who you were stealing from didnt put epson salt in the sandwhich. because if it was me? i would have put dog food in it, dog shit, epson salt then pissed on the bread. you better have ate that. i hate people who steal food. faggots, all of them. including you apparently.
YDI DUMBASS
#318 - On 10/19/2009 at 2:20am by Apachefire21
Hahaha bon appetit! xD That's what you got for being such an asshole. Isn't it stupid to expect that the person won't do anyhing?
Lovely suggestions all around. I agree OP got off easy with dog food. While laxatives are a good idea, as is rat poison, I think rat poison is too merciful, it'd be over too quickly. I, personally, would go the opposite direction with laxatives and not put anything unusual in my lunch but food, and some immodium. If OP wants my lunch so bad, he should keep it. Forever. (soup nazi voice) no poop for you!
#323 - On 11/26/2009 at 11:21am by derschadenfreude
ha! there IS a god! your lucky they didn't make you a dog food and glass shard sandwich.
#335 - On 03/12/2010 at 9:04pm by TheRedPhantom
